splitting from long term(ish) partner:(

[Apollo.]

So how do you cope, today I split up with my boyfriend that I've been with for well over a year and had been in love with him for about 4 years before that. It was me that finished it, it had been coming for a short while I think, we were due to go on holiday in a few days and it seemed like the perfect relationship but for the past month or so there had been something missing, I'm rambling now but I'm devastated.

How can someone go from being your everything and all you had ever wanted to feeling like someone you barely know? I've never felt so low and so down. He used to be the best part of me but now he's nothing, where does that leave me? I don't even know what this thread is for I don't even really know what I'm asking tbh. I suppose just how do you cope? I don't want to get over him I don't want to forget him I just want to get by.

[Body odah Man]

I'm sorry :(
It may sound cliche, but time IS the best healer. After a while your sad memories will fade and you'll get over it. I get that it's hard at the moment, though, so good luck with it all.

[lumiadots]

i'm so sorry you have to go through this, honey. ;/ people think it's trivial and petty but it's honestly one of the hardest, most heart-breaking things to go through, especially if you really, truly cared about him. i would suggest surrounding yourself with supportive friends and family that love and care about you. make it known to them whether you want to talk about it with them, or whether you just want them to distract you from thinking about it. at this point, wallowing in bad thoughts and grief isn't the answer and it's not going to help you at all.

maybe go for a run or a brisk walk. pop in some earbuds and do some physical exercise. it's a great to stay fit, in shape, and distract yourself from thinking about him. listen to music or read a book and let yourself get lost in it. plan to have a night out with all your friends. watch your favorite movie or television series, or some funny youtube videos or anything that can make you laugh. vent out your feelings in writing, if you want too, then rip up the pieces and throw them away.

however, it does good to think about why you did it. if you really loved him but broke up with him anyway, then there had to have been a reason you did it. reflect on that reason. convince yourself what you did was the right thing. let yourself cry and grieve, as it can release a weight form your shoulder, but don't wallow and waste life away in your bed thinking about what could have been and regretting it. once you feel you're ready, you can head back out into the fun single life of flirting with other guys, and who knows, you might find someone else that can make you happy if that's what you want and end up looking for. (: that doesn't mean you have to forget him or the love you two shared. it just means you're strong enough now to move onto a new chapter in your life.

just give it time. time will numb the pain eventually. just surround yourself with loving people and immerse yourself in the things/hobbies/activities you love to do. i believe that's the best way to cope with it.

[Apollo.]

Thanks both of you for your replies, its been a matter of hours since I broke up with him and I'm sure your advice will help in the next few days once I have calmed down a bit and thought it through. Its just totally mind fucked me that he was all I thought about for like 1/3 of my life and now that's all gone. I had good reasons for leaving him obviously but it just kind of doesn't make sense how leaving him still hurt me so much. I don't know I'm rambling again. Thanks for your answers again.

[lumiadots]

Thanks both of you for your replies, its been a matter of hours since I broke up with him and I'm sure your advice will help in the next few days once I have calmed down a bit and thought it through. Its just totally mind fucked me that he was all I thought about for like 1/3 of my life and now that's all gone. I had good reasons for leaving him obviously but it just kind of doesn't make sense how leaving him still hurt me so much. I don't know I'm rambling again. Thanks for your answers again.

you're very welcome. you want to talk i'm here, alright?
well, to me it makes sense that you're hurt so much. i mean, when you're with someone you love with all your heart, someone who you opened up to and gave everything to, suddenly having that gone is a punch in the gut and literally takes your breath away...not in the good way either.

[Apollo.]

you're very welcome. you want to talk i'm here, alright?
well, to me it makes sense that you're hurt so much. i mean, when you're with someone you love with all your heart, someone who you opened up to and gave everything to, suddenly having that gone is a punch in the gut and literally takes your breath away...not in the good way either.

Thanks it means a lot, I don't know, I finished it so I thought I would be easier, I was wrong. I honestly don't know how I feel, but thanks for your help you seem to be making some sense when nothing else does.