Redrocket
June 28th, 2014, 01:48 AM
I fucked up bad really bad I had a fucking rough week first this girl lets call her S lost trust for me here's what happened last Friday we were hanging with some friends J and this other guy and I blew up I was talking to S privately then she gets a text from J and the other guy that they wanted to go to the bar but S wanted to spend time with me! they said "Patrick Is ruining the night" I flipped out and almost hit the guy who said that to me and her friends were bitching at her because she wouldn't take me home because they wanted to go to the bar and they were upset because they didn't get their own way! So S stayed with me 1:00 in the morning! The next day I get a text from J and she said that I wasn't giving S any space and that I was holding hand because S had another boyfriend and J said it freaked her out! After that happened I developed a eating disorder and started throwing up!
I asked S that If i was holding her hand to much and that If I was too clingy! She said "it's part of our friendship"
Then she accidentally send this to me
I'm honestly really thinking about just going out with Pat cuz I'm sick of how Derek can be such a dick but then he can turn around and be so sweet but still I don't think it's worth being with him when I can't see my friends and he wants my money a lot and especially when I have feelings for Pat
Later That week S picked me up and I started throwing up allot and she was worried about me!
A little later in the week I really fucked up I started getting anxiety attacks when S and I were hanging with a mutual friend named L I started to walk away from L and S and I was like
"I will go to the other side of the park you and L can have girl time" then S said
"I want you to stay with us"
So I ran off and they followed me and I told S that
"No one wants a useless fuck like me around"
Then she's like "We do want you around"
I just walked away even more and made her really uncomfortable throughout the night! By telling her
"Sometimes I wish I were on drugs"
"I don't want a girlfriend"
"It's no fair that your sneaking around with me"
And even more shit!!
Then I got jellious because she started talking to L more then me i asked her
"Why arn't you taking to me? I asked
S said "I got nothing to say to you right now I got mad and ran at the end of the dock and started crying because S was ignoring me. Then I started yelling
"PLEASE FUCKING TALK TO ME!!!!!"
S said "your making me uncomfortable"
After we dropped L off I asked S if I can talk to her privately in the park then she asked"
"Is it gonna be one of those blowup moments"? I said
"No"
I started to talk to her and asked her if she still wanted to hang and she told me
"I need some space so after we're done talking can I please take you home?"
Then she said
"You made me uncomfortable by running away from me you really scared me when you took off on the dock why did you do that?
I said I don't know
Then I tried to give S a hug but she pushed me away and I started to make a scene in front of little kids!" She told me to go deeper in park with her so I don't make a scene.
I then started to tell her that I loved her allot and started to tell her how she tells me her current boyfriend treats her/controls her really hurts me and that I want her to be mine and that I was jellous of her finding someone else to marry!
She told me that "you'll never lose me as a friend i know my boyfriend is like that but i want to work it out with him" then she hugged me and brought me a drink and took me home
---------------------------------------
The next day I was at my best friend E's house and S and L came down the corner and asked if I wanted to go to the fair with them I said "sure" then I lost it again because S kept texting her boyfriend while hanging out I got E and I got mad and walked away then we found them afterwords and then she told me something that made me Mad again! She told
Me that she A GUY KISSED HER OTHER THEN HER BOYFRIEND l!!!!! I got super pissed and started to walk away again then E and I came back again after I jumped in the lake to cool down! Later on we met up with the guy who kissed her I was befriending him and they invited him to go to the fair with us then he started getting close to S and I was getting mad and I flipped and said
"YOUR JUST USING ME FOR MONEY TO GO TO THE FAIR!!!! She took off and I got this text later that night!!!
Ok whatever I'm done with you, I can't trust you with my secrets, you blurt them out and you run away from me almost all the time, I thought you were ok with us just being friends and over the fact that I may not wanna date you again but clearly that's not true because you got jealous when He got close to me and guess what I had enough to do one ride so whatever I just wanted to split our money together till I got paid tomorrow and I would have paid you back we could've probably done two rides but whatever be that way, just keep blaming me for everything. I'll be back at the fair tomorrow and on Canada day and I hope I don't see you. Have a good life without me cuz apparently I just make your life miserable (even though i show up at your door with wonderland tickets and take you out often) so whatever... goodbye forever Patrick!!! I'm so fucking done with you! I don't need you in my life.
I then said
I am sorry for every little thing i put you through everything's my fault! I am a really sensitive person. I am sorry if I run away all the time this is hard to explain but my emotions get acting up and it aches like fuck a
So I take a step away to get control over them
and when i want to spend time with you, you spend most of it texting! You have been a great friend to me for coming to get me on your spare time and buying me stuff I couldn't ask for a better friend like you! Its really tearing me to shreds the fact I spilled your secret and I really regret it! That night my feelings got really hurt because Jessica or josh said that "Patrick was wrecking the night" it really hurt me
and I lost control of my funtions and wasn't watching what I was saying because I was upset because the fact that this has happened to you!! I know it really hurt you and I really am sorry that I blurt it out and I am sorry that you lost your respect for me because of it!
I am very very very sorry that I got jellious with you and Hombut it did really hurt me that the fact that he kissed you it broke my heart because your already in a relationship with Another dude and you kissed another guy plus I was feeling this jealousy inside me! I am sorry that I am jellious person! I am happy that the fact that we were just friends I our friendship was a very special treasure to me and I will treasure it forever!
My dad said you are a very special friend that I lost and he thought our friendship would lead somewhere! I would seriously do anything to make it up to you I will give you time to think for a while
Bye patrick
Then she said sorry and she told
Me to go to the fair with her
I asked S that If i was holding her hand to much and that If I was too clingy! She said "it's part of our friendship"
Then she accidentally send this to me
I'm honestly really thinking about just going out with Pat cuz I'm sick of how Derek can be such a dick but then he can turn around and be so sweet but still I don't think it's worth being with him when I can't see my friends and he wants my money a lot and especially when I have feelings for Pat
Later That week S picked me up and I started throwing up allot and she was worried about me!
A little later in the week I really fucked up I started getting anxiety attacks when S and I were hanging with a mutual friend named L I started to walk away from L and S and I was like
"I will go to the other side of the park you and L can have girl time" then S said
"I want you to stay with us"
So I ran off and they followed me and I told S that
"No one wants a useless fuck like me around"
Then she's like "We do want you around"
I just walked away even more and made her really uncomfortable throughout the night! By telling her
"Sometimes I wish I were on drugs"
"I don't want a girlfriend"
"It's no fair that your sneaking around with me"
And even more shit!!
Then I got jellious because she started talking to L more then me i asked her
"Why arn't you taking to me? I asked
S said "I got nothing to say to you right now I got mad and ran at the end of the dock and started crying because S was ignoring me. Then I started yelling
"PLEASE FUCKING TALK TO ME!!!!!"
S said "your making me uncomfortable"
After we dropped L off I asked S if I can talk to her privately in the park then she asked"
"Is it gonna be one of those blowup moments"? I said
"No"
I started to talk to her and asked her if she still wanted to hang and she told me
"I need some space so after we're done talking can I please take you home?"
Then she said
"You made me uncomfortable by running away from me you really scared me when you took off on the dock why did you do that?
I said I don't know
Then I tried to give S a hug but she pushed me away and I started to make a scene in front of little kids!" She told me to go deeper in park with her so I don't make a scene.
I then started to tell her that I loved her allot and started to tell her how she tells me her current boyfriend treats her/controls her really hurts me and that I want her to be mine and that I was jellous of her finding someone else to marry!
She told me that "you'll never lose me as a friend i know my boyfriend is like that but i want to work it out with him" then she hugged me and brought me a drink and took me home
---------------------------------------
The next day I was at my best friend E's house and S and L came down the corner and asked if I wanted to go to the fair with them I said "sure" then I lost it again because S kept texting her boyfriend while hanging out I got E and I got mad and walked away then we found them afterwords and then she told me something that made me Mad again! She told
Me that she A GUY KISSED HER OTHER THEN HER BOYFRIEND l!!!!! I got super pissed and started to walk away again then E and I came back again after I jumped in the lake to cool down! Later on we met up with the guy who kissed her I was befriending him and they invited him to go to the fair with us then he started getting close to S and I was getting mad and I flipped and said
"YOUR JUST USING ME FOR MONEY TO GO TO THE FAIR!!!! She took off and I got this text later that night!!!
Ok whatever I'm done with you, I can't trust you with my secrets, you blurt them out and you run away from me almost all the time, I thought you were ok with us just being friends and over the fact that I may not wanna date you again but clearly that's not true because you got jealous when He got close to me and guess what I had enough to do one ride so whatever I just wanted to split our money together till I got paid tomorrow and I would have paid you back we could've probably done two rides but whatever be that way, just keep blaming me for everything. I'll be back at the fair tomorrow and on Canada day and I hope I don't see you. Have a good life without me cuz apparently I just make your life miserable (even though i show up at your door with wonderland tickets and take you out often) so whatever... goodbye forever Patrick!!! I'm so fucking done with you! I don't need you in my life.
I then said
I am sorry for every little thing i put you through everything's my fault! I am a really sensitive person. I am sorry if I run away all the time this is hard to explain but my emotions get acting up and it aches like fuck a
So I take a step away to get control over them
and when i want to spend time with you, you spend most of it texting! You have been a great friend to me for coming to get me on your spare time and buying me stuff I couldn't ask for a better friend like you! Its really tearing me to shreds the fact I spilled your secret and I really regret it! That night my feelings got really hurt because Jessica or josh said that "Patrick was wrecking the night" it really hurt me
and I lost control of my funtions and wasn't watching what I was saying because I was upset because the fact that this has happened to you!! I know it really hurt you and I really am sorry that I blurt it out and I am sorry that you lost your respect for me because of it!
I am very very very sorry that I got jellious with you and Hombut it did really hurt me that the fact that he kissed you it broke my heart because your already in a relationship with Another dude and you kissed another guy plus I was feeling this jealousy inside me! I am sorry that I am jellious person! I am happy that the fact that we were just friends I our friendship was a very special treasure to me and I will treasure it forever!
My dad said you are a very special friend that I lost and he thought our friendship would lead somewhere! I would seriously do anything to make it up to you I will give you time to think for a while
Bye patrick
Then she said sorry and she told
Me to go to the fair with her