Espeon
June 24th, 2014, 06:58 AM
Well, i'm back..
I joined early this year looking for advice, and things just haven't been getting better for me.. Welcome to my secret life. I'm probarly telling the world the things they want to use against me, but i feel safer on the internet, than telling my real life friends and family.. Who just don't understand my feelings anymore.
:(
This is gonna be long, so i'll try to make it short and sweet.
I'm in teh 9th grade, for your information.
A while ago i had an idea about finally having a friend, before i started getting exams. A friend to just generally, chill out with, share study woes, and finally just Having a damn friend for once in my life. You know in elementary school, EVERYONE was your friend. Now they've moved on, ignore your calls, and generally turn into stuck up biscuits. (pseudo swear lolz)
Most of my old friends from either middleschool are gone, as i've moved around over the years.. life. sure. Everyone WANTS a friend in high school, it's a priority. totally. No friends and your life is HELL, as everyone views it.
So maybe i've always been shy and awkward.. but i have this side of me. this overly confident, friendly, on with the trend side.. but i'm too scared to show it with people i want to be friends with.
Pssh, who needs friends? Said i, a long time ago before i generally became a loner with everyone. People tried to be friends but i scare em' all off. i'm just scared to speak out. I'm viewed as some super quiet, too TOUGH for anyone, leave her-alone girl.
Heck, i even had to change my classes because i was so alone in them, but no change.
Onto the topic.
I met a girl, loner-like and all, just like me.. she seemed to make a effort to try and befriend me. it actually made me kind of happy and suprised. she usually took the empty spot next to me in every class she could. I found out she had a TON of same interests as me. i would wait for her every day to sit next to me. we rarely talked, but i noticed she seemed to watch me a lot.. creepily/stalkerlike. well she actually sat with me and stuff at recess/study hall without even asking, but that was fine. I don't know why, but she felt like a friend to me.. not all of the time, but whenever she could.. ok she seemed awkward but who cared? nobody.
Then one day i finally go up to her and invite her to study with me, and she's all like for the first time: "No, i'm not interested.. we never were friends, you know?
"
That awful feeling.. makes me dead inside.
I joined early this year looking for advice, and things just haven't been getting better for me.. Welcome to my secret life. I'm probarly telling the world the things they want to use against me, but i feel safer on the internet, than telling my real life friends and family.. Who just don't understand my feelings anymore.
:(
This is gonna be long, so i'll try to make it short and sweet.
I'm in teh 9th grade, for your information.
A while ago i had an idea about finally having a friend, before i started getting exams. A friend to just generally, chill out with, share study woes, and finally just Having a damn friend for once in my life. You know in elementary school, EVERYONE was your friend. Now they've moved on, ignore your calls, and generally turn into stuck up biscuits. (pseudo swear lolz)
Most of my old friends from either middleschool are gone, as i've moved around over the years.. life. sure. Everyone WANTS a friend in high school, it's a priority. totally. No friends and your life is HELL, as everyone views it.
So maybe i've always been shy and awkward.. but i have this side of me. this overly confident, friendly, on with the trend side.. but i'm too scared to show it with people i want to be friends with.
Pssh, who needs friends? Said i, a long time ago before i generally became a loner with everyone. People tried to be friends but i scare em' all off. i'm just scared to speak out. I'm viewed as some super quiet, too TOUGH for anyone, leave her-alone girl.
Heck, i even had to change my classes because i was so alone in them, but no change.
Onto the topic.
I met a girl, loner-like and all, just like me.. she seemed to make a effort to try and befriend me. it actually made me kind of happy and suprised. she usually took the empty spot next to me in every class she could. I found out she had a TON of same interests as me. i would wait for her every day to sit next to me. we rarely talked, but i noticed she seemed to watch me a lot.. creepily/stalkerlike. well she actually sat with me and stuff at recess/study hall without even asking, but that was fine. I don't know why, but she felt like a friend to me.. not all of the time, but whenever she could.. ok she seemed awkward but who cared? nobody.
Then one day i finally go up to her and invite her to study with me, and she's all like for the first time: "No, i'm not interested.. we never were friends, you know?
"
That awful feeling.. makes me dead inside.