thought i knew

[Babs]

I thought i knew my orientation for sure but now blahhhh. I identified as queer because i didnt want to put an exact label on it. Closest would be pansexual i guess. I think i might just be gay though. The thought of having sex with a man makes me cringe. But i would jump at the chance at having sex with a woman. I dont know for sure though...
So my question is, is there anyone who thought they were bi/pan but turned out to be gay? And how did you know for sure? I know nobody can really tell me what I am for sure but I just need some input.

[Nathan03]

I know exactly how you feel; I consider myself bisexual but that is only because I gave up on trying to label my feelings. Honestly, I wouldn't worry about it. Let whatever happens, happen. I was in a relationship with a girl and was very emotionally attached to her, but ever since we broke up I've been filling that void by talking to a gay friend of mine that I have off and on feelings for. We tried dating, but it didn't work out. Sometimes I think that I'm gay but then I remember what I had with this girl and it confuses me. Sometimes, but very rarely, I think I'm straight. I'm to the point where I think it doesn't matter anymore. I'll just consider myself bisexual and leave the door open to males and females.

[Rayquaza]

So I've known a lot of people that originally told me they were bi and then they later told me they were gay. But to be honest it puts a lot of pressure on a bi guy such as myself because it establishes a form of biphobia where people assume that i'm "transitioning". Some people do transition, but that's usually through losing interest rather than gaining interest in another sex. To be totally honest you don't need to identify as anything. One of my friends is a "people-person" and prefers not to fit in the tight boxes that sexuality labels enforce on us. Queer is a good umbrella term.

So back to your initial post, hmm. I'd say it sounds to me like you actually could be transitioning as you said that having sex with a man makes you cringe. However, you can't really be sure of that unless you try something out. Perhaps don't even think about sex, but other feelings of attraction. You could also just wait it out, everyone finds themselves eventually. You become more aware of your attractions and repels, and realising you could have an attraction to anyone is a first big step.

[fast8]

No i always knew i was bi

[Babs]

So I've known a lot of people that originally told me they were bi and then they later told me they were gay. But to be honest it puts a lot of pressure on a bi guy such as myself because it establishes a form of biphobia where people assume that i'm "transitioning". Some people do transition, but that's usually through losing interest rather than gaining interest in another sex. To be totally honest you don't need to identify as anything. One of my friends is a "people-person" and prefers not to fit in the tight boxes that sexuality labels enforce on us. Queer is a good umbrella term.

So back to your initial post, hmm. I'd say it sounds to me like you actually could be transitioning as you said that having sex with a man makes you cringe. However, you can't really be sure of that unless you try something out. Perhaps don't even think about sex, but other feelings of attraction. You could also just wait it out, everyone finds themselves eventually. You become more aware of your attractions and repels, and realising you could have an attraction to anyone is a first big step.

Unfortunately, my brother has the same mindset, that bisexual people are "transitioning", well, not exactly that. But pretty close.
Also, I left out a few details. Like, I watch straight porn on occasion, when I find something that's not just... gross... bleggh.
There are very few guys who I find sexually attractive. Like, I see a guy and I can recognize that' he's good looking but it's not how I feel about girls. There's been one boy ever who I thought I could actually see myself dating but I don't feel that way about him anymore. It's kind of like... whatever. I don't know, I just feel a lot more attraction to girls than boys, both sexually and romantically.
I guess labels don't matter right now. See what happens.

[Rayquaza]

Unfortunately, my brother has the same mindset, that bisexual people are "transitioning", well, not exactly that. But pretty close.
Also, I left out a few details. Like, I watch straight porn on occasion, when I find something that's not just... gross... bleggh.
There are very few guys who I find sexually attractive. Like, I see a guy and I can recognize that' he's good looking but it's not how I feel about girls. There's been one boy ever who I thought I could actually see myself dating but I don't feel that way about him anymore. It's kind of like... whatever. I don't know, I just feel a lot more attraction to girls than boys, both sexually and romantically.
I guess labels don't matter right now. See what happens.

Yeah I mean if you've seen a at least one or two guys that you have an attraction to, it's more of a case that you're generally around guys that just aren't to your liking, and I'd suggest you keep your eyes open when you go to other places, as your current enviornment could change your perspective on you liking guys at all. But yeah, labels don't matter and queer is a good umbrella term. You'll find yourself eventually and when you do everything will become a lot more transparent.