im not the only one..?

[carolinae]

as i write this i have this horrible urge to cut. i don't know what triggered this. right now i just feel like every time I've had a trigger. and i know the only way to stop the urge is to cut. i hate cutting, but i hate the urge even more. sometimes i wish i hadn't told my family/boyfriend about this. every time they see me they take my arm and check it goddammit. if i have new cuts they look at me disappointed. if i don't, they hug me. i know it saddens them when i self-harm, but i cant handle it any much longer. my hands are shaking. my heart is beating hard and fast. i need to. I've been cutting for too long to get well again. even if i don't cut for a while,i always relapse. i did 2 days ago, after 18 days.. my boyfriend says he's proud of me and that i should be too, but, how can i be proud when i keep relapsing?

[thatgothgirluknow]

everyone relapses its normal be proud of how long u made it before dont beat urself up about relapsing

[Rayquaza]

Although you may keep relapsing, your family and friends will continue to support you as long as the relapse rate is decreasing. Try your best to relapse less and less, and make sure your family and friends continuously know about your progress so that when you struggle, you can go to them rather than take it out on yourself. You'll feel less of an urge to self harm in the long run. Trying your best to stop is difficult, but it's about externalising your emotions rather than keeping them to yourself. Don't feel ashamed about a minor hiccup, and remember that it's going to be a bumpy road for recovery.

[lacrosse22]

Everyone relapses. There was a quote once, I think it read similar to this: we often are discouraged by how much more we have to go, rather than looking back and being proud of how far we have come.

Right now, take a deep breath, and just go sit down. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but it's the truth. Cutting, while it 'works' now, isn't going to in the long run. I really want you to go somewhere in the house with other people. If you feel like that's going to want to make you cut even more, go watch a few funny Youtube videos, just to get your mind off of things. They're so mindless.

And, you should be proud. You are so much stronger than you think you are. I'm not going to sit here and say the road to recovery is an open highway, because I'd be lying and everyone who has taken that road would know. I'm not saying it's going to go by quickly, and you'll be perfectly okay really soon. But, what I am saying is that it's worth it.

Youtube videos:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xVrJ8DxECbg
(this one may be offensive to Chinese people...) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mf5mjP_Kzcw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7AXBOT8KzU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PWpsRyb5Fk0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXuxJaYsIvs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WQO-aOdJLiw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jX3iLfcMDCw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJ8il9MUYac

Just remember that it's all going to be okay, and that everything little thing is going to be alright(: stay strong

[BWhoYouWannaB]

Stay strong and never give up on your self. If you are truly depressed, try a therapist or just anyone to talk to and scream out your problems to them (anyone on this site for example) So don't worry, be happy! :D PS, get well soon :P