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View Full Version : My life in the past 2 months.


lacrosse22
June 18th, 2014, 03:03 PM
This is honestly my last hope to find closure or to even feel the slightest bit better.

Let me just warn y'all, if you don't want to listen to petty grief and a rant, stop reading this and go help someone else.

My dad died on the 26th of April. He was a drunk for 7 years. I hated him when he was drunk, he was the best dad when he was sober. I'll just recap that day since I've been reliving it for close to 2 months.

I woke up around 9 in our vacation house: we had just signed the final papers that Wednesday. He was drunk all weekend. Like, extremely drunk. He was screaming on the third story balcony. He finally passed out, and my mom and I literally took the chair and dumped him inside the house. He didn't wake up because he was so intoxicated. We couldn't leave him on the floor of the family room cause my younger brother had a friend and they would be coming back any moment. My mom took his feet and I took his head and we dragged him down the steps into a second story bedroom. I told my mom to put him on his side so he wouldn't choke on his own vomit. We left him in the room alone and closed the door. A few hours later, my mom and I went out to KMart to buy a few new things for the house. We came back at the same time as my brother, his friend and my grandpa. It was around 8:30 or 9ish, so dusk. I put a bag from the trunk in the kitchen and walked back outside. By the front door, my grandpa said "Nicolette, your father, his face is blue" or something like that. But I was so pissed off at him being drunk, and between that and my grandpa's thick Greek accent, I thought he said "his back is blue", which would make sense from him bruising. I was grabbing a bag out of the drunk when my mom screamed "Call 911! David! Call 911!". I ran inside but couldn't bring myself to look inside the room. I knew he was dead. I ran onto the back porch of the house and tried calling my friend in Canada. Ambulance workers and paramedics rushed inside the house. The next thing I remember I was walking down the steps and asked one of the paramedics if he was dead. His response was a sigh and "the medics are working on him" but his eye's told it all: he was dead. About 20 minutes passed by and I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to get out of the house. I grabbed my shoes, told my grandma I was leaving and ran. I ran so fast and so hard I didn't stop until a crosswalk. I had a plan to go to my family friends house. The father of the family was friends with my dad since high school. A firetruck pulled up next to me and the man who I had talked to got out and ran after me, asking me where I was going and wanted to make sure I was okay. I told him to tell my mom that I was going to the family friends house and I kept running. When I finally got onto the porch of their house, I knocked. When my dads friend opened the door, I just cried and said "my dad is dead" and he hugged me and took me inside. I sat on their couch, called a friend and eventually fell asleep.

I have been reliving that day for the past 2 months. My 15th birthday is tomorrow, and I don't want it to come. To me, it isn't worth it. His birthday would have been on the 21st, and since our birthday's were so close, he would always call me 'the best birthday present he ever got'. I was such a daddy's girl, he called me buttercup and when he wasn't drunk we had the best time.

I'm crying so hard right now I'm finding it hard to breathe. To me, none of this seems fair. I feel so selfish. I've known people who had their dad died at seven, and yet I'm feeling so sad and so depressed and quite frankly so alone. I just... life sucks.

I'm sorry for the rant... I just needed to get all that off of my chest.

tbake98
June 18th, 2014, 03:12 PM
I'm terribly sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how that must feel. I know this birthday is going to be hard for you. I know it's cliche, but it will get better in time. There are certainly people here who would be more than happy to talk to you and help you get through it, just as your friends and family will.

lacrosse22
June 18th, 2014, 03:15 PM
Actually, my family's hardly supportive. My younger brother says that no one likes me, that I'm a b*tch, I should go to h*ll, etc. My mom thinks I'm 'out of control'. None of my friends understand what I'm going through. I'm here for myself, and I'm the only person that I have.

Karkat
June 18th, 2014, 03:15 PM
Aw hon, I literally started to cry reading this. I'm so, so sorry. :(

Honestly? Your dad had a problem, but there was nothing you could do about it. Nothing. It is in no way your fault that he died. While he WAS sick, and it's not fair to say "oh he was being selfish, blah blah blah", it had to be up to him to decide to seek treatment, and get better. I'm just sorry you had to live with the consequences of someone else's actions like this.

I'm actually an alcoholic myself, so this made me bawl, because one of the things I'm the most afraid of is falling into this sort of thing. I don't think most people who have problems with alcohol abuse mean to be such... Burdens to everyone else, but they really can be. I know I'm a burden, and it's hard, having to face that.

I wish there was some way I could help. I know that it's not MY fault, how could it be? I just feel really bad about this. :(

Hang in there, please. If you need to talk to anyone, we're all here to listen. :hug:

lacrosse22
June 18th, 2014, 03:22 PM
Aw hon, I literally started to cry reading this. I'm so, so sorry. :(

Honestly? Your dad had a problem, but there was nothing you could do about it. Nothing. It is in no way your fault that he died. While he WAS sick, and it's not fair to say "oh he was being selfish, blah blah blah", it had to be up to him to decide to seek treatment, and get better. I'm just sorry you had to live with the consequences of someone else's actions like this.

I know that it's not my fault. I just feel so alone, like no one understands. I just called my mom because my brother was pissing me off, and she came into my room and started screaming at me about how I'm "not humble, selfish, greedy, disrespectful and how I'm always on my phone." Maybe, mom, I'm on my phone making sure that one of my friends doesn't commit suicide. She just doesn't get it. Nobody does.

Karkat
June 18th, 2014, 03:27 PM
I know that it's not my fault. I just feel so alone, like no one understands. I just called my mom because my brother was pissing me off, and she came into my room and started screaming at me about how I'm "not humble, selfish, greedy, disrespectful and how I'm always on my phone." Maybe, mom, I'm on my phone making sure that one of my friends doesn't commit suicide. She just doesn't get it. Nobody does.

Ah, I can relate to that one a lot. Mom's probably just stressed- however that doesn't excuse her actions in the slightest.

My mom pretty much yells the same things at me every time I feel depressed and it's not 'convenient' for her.

Spending time away from your family as much as is reasonably possible might be a good thing right now. They're all stressed out, and clearly don't treat you like they should to begin with.

lacrosse22
June 18th, 2014, 03:32 PM
Spending time away from your family as much as is reasonably possible might be a good thing right now. They're all stressed out, and clearly don't treat you like they should to begin with.


I'm actually going to a boarding school next year, so, that can be checked off. My dad wanted me to go, he went to one. He was the one that took me up to New England to visit schools, and I'm ending up going to his high schools rivalry school haha. I got accepted after he died as a late applicant. I'm sure he was laughing from wherever he is.

Fanta_Lover44
June 18th, 2014, 03:34 PM
I'm so sorry to hear about your loss, your birthday is something you should enjoy and I see you and him are almost the same birthday, you just got to think positive and remember all the good times and forgot all the bad things that came between you and your dad and i'm always here if you need someone to talk to, i'll happily sit and listen. Stay strong for your dad, he would want that. :)

Hope you get better soon.

Karkat
June 18th, 2014, 03:34 PM
I'm actually going to a boarding school next year, so, that can be checked off. My dad wanted me to go, he went to one. He was the one that took me up to New England to visit schools, and I'm ending up going to his high schools rivalry school haha. I got accepted after he died as a late applicant. I'm sure he was laughing from wherever he is.

That's a good thing, hope you like it there. :) When does that start?

lacrosse22
June 18th, 2014, 03:36 PM
That's a good thing, hope you like it there. :) When does that start?

I have to be on campus the 16th of August.

Karkat
June 18th, 2014, 03:45 PM
I have to be on campus the 16th of August.

Ah, well that's not TOO long. Good luck in the meantime though.

lacrosse22
June 18th, 2014, 04:00 PM
Ah, well that's not TOO long. Good luck in the meantime though.

thank you for the help, I needed it

Karkat
June 18th, 2014, 04:16 PM
thank you for the help, I needed it

Anytime :)