In an odd position

[HazwoldTheElder]

Hello humans!
As you may know, I'm bisexual, 15, have Asperger's Syndrome, and have a wonderful American boyfriend (a 12 year old, but a boyfriend nonetheless) who I met online and have been with for a couple of months now.
I've come out to all my friends but I'm too worried to come out to my parents, not only does my Asperger's make it nigh-on-impossible to talk to them about my sexuality, but when it gets to the point where I have to tell them about Zach (my bf) I'm worried they'll get worried about the age difference and about the fact I met him online.
I know they're respecting of LGBT people (less trans for whatever dumb reason) but I don't know if they'll start asking questions that I'll hate to talk about, because love and relationships aren't something I like to talk about with family.

I could use some help, please, if you have anything to offer please do!

Many thanks,

Hazwold (Harry):D

(Oh, and ignore the double-entente in the title, it wasn't intentional :P)

[Living For Love]

Well, if you really want to come out now to your parents, just tell them you're gay first, and then, some time later (depending on their reaction), tell them you met someone special over the Internet. Take it slow and progressively, no need to rush. :)

[CassnovA]

I honestly wouldnt say u have a 12 yo bf on the internet. Its just my opinion but there are so many different negative paths that could happen from telling that. gl though.

[Stronger]

Telling them you're bisexual will be one thing, depending on how they are, but I would hold off on telling them about your boyfriend. Since he is 12 and in a different country than you, your parents probably won't be happy with that and it could cause unneeded difficulties for you. Best of luck to you though.

[NeuroTiger]

Telling them you're bisexual will be one thing, depending on how they are, but I would hold off on telling them about your boyfriend. Since he is 12 and in a different country than you, your parents probably won't be happy with that and it could cause unneeded difficulties for you. Best of luck to you though.

He's right. The problem lies in him being from a different country and that it's an online-based distant relationship.

[JamesSuperBoy]

Hello humans!
As you may know, I'm bisexual, 15, have Asperger's Syndrome, and have a wonderful American boyfriend (a 12 year old, but a boyfriend nonetheless) who I met online and have been with for a couple of months now.
I've come out to all my friends but I'm too worried to come out to my parents, not only does my Asperger's make it nigh-on-impossible to talk to them about my sexuality, but when it gets to the point where I have to tell them about Zach (my bf) I'm worried they'll get worried about the age difference and about the fact I met him online.
I know they're respecting of LGBT people (less trans for whatever dumb reason) but I don't know if they'll start asking questions that I'll hate to talk about, because love and relationships aren't something I like to talk about with family.

I could use some help, please, if you have anything to offer please do!

Many thanks,

Hazwold (Harry):D

(Oh, and ignore the double-entente in the title, it wasn't intentional :P)

maybe you could talk with just one parent first - would that be easier.

[phuckphace]

I'm worried they'll get worried about the age difference and about the fact I met him online.

I'd be more than "worried" if I were them. he's still a child. you should probably stop this right where it's at and look elsewhere. he's got a childhood to get out of the way first (provided he's really 12 years old and not some old pedo) and there are plenty of single guys your age that don't live an ocean away.

[HazwoldTheElder]

provided he's really 12 years old and not some old pedo
I'm very sure of who he is, we've talked, video chatted, all that jazz.

And I don't think I could ever leave him, he's my best friend as well as my boyfriend, he's remarkably in love with me and I'm incredibly in love with him. I adore him :wub:

[Bmble_B]

Well, if you really want to come out now to your parents, just tell them you're gay first, and then, some time later (depending on their reaction), tell them you met someone special over the Internet. Take it slow and progressively, no need to rush. :)

^^ Listen to him! Everywhere he posts he always gives good advice. :D

[phuckphace]

I'm very sure of who he is, we've talked, video chatted, all that jazz.

And I don't think I could ever leave him, he's my best friend as well as my boyfriend, he's remarkably in love with me and I'm incredibly in love with him. I adore him :wub:

it sounds like you two are good friends, sure. not to sound too cynical but I don't think a 12 year old (or a 15 year old for that matter) is psychologically developed enough to experience actual romantic love. it's probably something closer to a hormone/adrenaline rush coupled with sexual arousal. even animals do that.

[Karkat]

it sounds like you two are good friends, sure. not to sound too cynical but I don't think a 12 year old (or a 15 year old for that matter) is psychologically developed enough to experience actual romantic love. it's probably something closer to a hormone/adrenaline rush coupled with sexual arousal. even animals do that.

I feel like 15 is one thing- the first time I fell in love I was about around that age, however love is kind of a stupid thing to begin with. It's one thing to be in love with someone, it's another thing to keep a loving romantic and/or sexual relationship up, or to know what it means to 'love another person'.

You can totally be in love with someone- I don't know about a 12 year old, but in your mid teens, sure, depending on the person- but whether or not you can make your relationship reflect that, and do what's right for the other person is really the question.

It's just like you can technically 'fall in love' with someone you're not with. It's not necessarily infatuation either.

Is it what's happening here? I don't know, nor am I going to attempt to judge, however, I think the term you're looking for here is "infatuation". Though that can coincide with love as well- you're going to feel a little infatuated with someone when you marry them, etc. Doesn't mean you don't actually love them as well.

[HazwoldTheElder]

I feel like 15 is one thing- the first time I fell in love I was about around that age, however love is kind of a stupid thing to begin with. It's one thing to be in love with someone, it's another thing to keep a loving romantic and/or sexual relationship up, or to know what it means to 'love another person'.

You can totally be in love with someone- I don't know about a 12 year old, but in your mid teens, sure, depending on the person- but whether or not you can make your relationship reflect that, and do what's right for the other person is really the question.

It's just like you can technically 'fall in love' with someone you're not with. It's not necessarily infatuation either.

Is it what's happening here? I don't know, nor am I going to attempt to judge, however, I think the term you're looking for here is "infatuation". Though that can coincide with love as well- you're going to feel a little infatuated with someone when you marry them, etc. Doesn't mean you don't actually love them as well.

The idea of "love" versus "infatuation" has actually sparked an argument recently that has caused me to lose a friend, so I apologize if I'm one-sided

What I can say is that I trust Zach enough to enjoy spending time with him, I enjoy helping him in dark situations and he enjoys helping me, he's the kind of person I'd consider both a boyfriend and a best-friend, whether he thinks the same of me is a different story, but I hope and trust that he does.

With that too I get the sexual and romantic aspects; I know that just his presence is enough to cheer me up on a bad day, I feel extreme unrivaled compassion for him.

So for all intents and purposes, we're in a great caring and, I think, loving relationship. I'd be pleased if we just moved back to the main topic, thanks:)

[AdamS]

Any update on this. Did you say anything to your parents?

[JakePaiv]

It's easiest to start with one parent, because that parent will tell the other. Just leave out the boyfriend part for now and maybe tell them in a month or two. It can be a lot to take in. (Although my mom already knew I'm gay before I did.)