Words hurt.

[Fiending_the_freedom]

Ok so,
as a result of my drinking problem last year,
I made a lot of drunken mistakes.
and yea, the number of guys i've hooked up with has gone up because of that.
and yea i cant change that now, and i do take responsibility, but it was because of my drinking problem. But its my fault i didnt learn right away.

So now, i just feel like everyone has these opinions of me that they jsut kept a secret untill there mad at me and then call me a slut!
my best friend when she got mad at me last week bitched me out and made me cry so hard, she kept going on about how the nubmer of guys i have is SOOOO bad for my age (and i was just thinking the whole time, I CANT CHANGE THAT NOW so why are you making me feel like shit?)
and (i know honestly box on facebook is fucked) but i keep getting msgs from girls AND guys saying i'm a slut.
Its making me feel so bad about myself, do these people not know that i beat myself up for this already everyday?
about a month ago i felt more confident than ever about myself.
now i feel like everybody just thinks i'm some dumb drunked slut (btw those are the words that one of the guys who were supposedly "my friend" used while talking about me.)

I dont know what to do other than just sit around in my room and feel bad. because i cant talk to Anyone i feel comfertable tlaking to because im scared there going to think im a slut!

[Hyper]

The main thing is what you belive.. Other people don't make you what you are. You may have fucked up before but that doesn't mean you'll fuck up again, You just need some faith in yourself and if your ''friends'' dig up shit from the past when their pissed then they can go fuck themselves.

As for that facebook, I wouldn't care about some internet comments if they're from ppl you know in RL just forget about them then..

Yeaaaaah... Life is a bitch.. But it can be pretty good too..

[sophies_justice]

try talking to some of your friends and telling them that everything you did last year was a mistake and that you regret it and ask if they can move on, because you obviously are ready to. i mean i don't know if that'll work or not, but hey, it's worth a shot and you might be surprised. :)

[ScotsGirl]

Sometimes when people form an opinion of something or someone, it can be really difficult to change their minds, especially when it contains sex. (I know, we're well into the 21st century but the word seems to immediately make people become 100 times more judgemental -as awful as it is to say- especially if you're a girl)
However, that is THEIR problem, not yours.

Everyone makes mistakes, however, I believe it is how they deal with their mistakes that shows what kind of person they are. Sadly, not everyone is as open minded, as you know. And Im not going to reply and tell you that they will 'come around' etc etc because the fact is they probably wont, for a long while. Hard lesson to learn I guess.
As for your friends. People say things when they're angry that they dont mean. They tend to say things like that when they are hurting and they want to make you hurt. They probably know that calling you a slut is a sure fire way of hurting you because they can see how much you have changed your ways, clearly saying that you dont want to be like that anymore because you didnt like it. It doesnt make them a bad person for doing that, they are just hurting. They may have once believed those things, however, the fact that they call themself your friend shows that they probably dont think of you like that anymore.

So you fucked up and at the time didnt realise/deal/change it. But what you have done now, is admit how wrong you have been, and are trying to deal with it. Better late than never, and can I just say, it would have been a whole lot easier to do the 'never'. However, you have chosen to face it head on and not sink back into your old ways, I really respect that.

As people have replied before, it is your opinion of yourself that truly matters and they are absolutely right. I do realise what people say has a huge impact though, and its a very slow process gaining enough confidence in yourself for other peoples opinions to have less affect. But you have made the first steps. By realising your past behaviour was something you dont like, and by changing your ways to becoming someone you like and will eventually learn to love. You just need to keep going, ok? Because you can and will get there! :)

Hope you are doing alright Tegan!
:hug:
xxx

[Nihilus]

If they insult you they probally arn't your friends