Being close to your parents

[Whight]

So.. I mean. I've always been relatively close to my parents, and i've noticed it's more so than most people.
Perhaps it's because we were always moving, so I didn't really get a chance to have close friends - But my father was a really good friend of mine.
I would always enjoy watching movies with him and playing games. He'd always beat the shit out of me in Call of Duty heh.
It could also be the fact that I don't have brothers or sisters or any other form of family. My dad was an orphan as well, and my mom had a gigantic fallout with her family, so much so that I don't even know who they are - never met 'em.


So, i'm wondering. Is anyone else here close to his/her parents? Like, do you have shared activities and hobbies?

(Man, thinking about it makes me really miss Dad Y_Y .. and Mom, of course!).

[CosmicNoodle]

Hey :) Welcome to the forum...sort of...

I've never been close to my parents. They think were close, but I don't share anything with them or even talk to them if I can help it, I'd like to be I guess. But I'm just not.

I think a lot of teenagers are kind of distant

[Living For Love]

No, I don't consider myself that close to my parents, but the relationship you have with them seems really healthy, so make sure you keep it that way. I have some really good childhood memories, though, that I will never forget, but right now, we're kind of a bit distant.

[Whight]

Hey :) Welcome to the forum...sort of...

I've never been close to my parents. They think were close, but I don't share anything with them or even talk to them if I can help it, I'd like to be I guess. But I'm just not.

I think a lot of teenagers are kind of distant

Thanks, heh. You already welcomed me a while back :P.

Well, I suppose, I'd tend to keep stuff from them too. I guess it's a teenagery thing to to tell everything.
But do you like, do stuff together?

No, I don't consider myself that close to my parents, but the relationship you have with them seems really healthy, so make sure you keep it that way. I have some really good childhood memories, though, that I will never forget, but right now, we're kind of a bit distant.


Sadly it's had. They passed away 2 years ago. I miss them so much. You should find a way to bond with them. There's something very pleasureful to have a common interest or hobby with your dad or mom.

[Living For Love]

Sadly it's had. They passed away 2 years ago. I miss them so much. You should find a way to bond with them. There's something very pleasureful to have a common interest or hobby with your dad or mom.
Oh my God, I'm so sorry, I thought like you just weren't living with your dad anymore or something. I feel so bad now... It must be really hard for you, especially today, I imagine. I know it won't be easy, but I'll definitely keep trying to bond with them a bit more. Stay strong in the meanwhile, they must have been so proud of you.

[Whight]

Oh my God, I'm so sorry, I thought like you just weren't living with your dad anymore or something. I feel so bad now... It must be really hard for you, especially today, I imagine. I know it won't be easy, but I'll definitely keep trying to bond with them a bit more. Stay strong in the meanwhile, they must have been so proud of you.

Thanks, but don't feel bad. I wasn't trying to lecture you or something heh.

I was just trying to say that I was very close to my dad and it was amazing fun because we shared hobbies, and I think that if other people tried that instead of being distant and all teenagery, they'd gain a lot.

Think about it, it's like having an older friend who pays for everything! Watching a movie? He pays for you and for popcorn heh.

[Living For Love]

Thanks, but don't feel bad. I wasn't trying to lecture you or something heh.

I was just trying to say that I was very close to my dad and it was amazing fun because we shared hobbies, and I think that if other people tried that instead of being distant and all teenagery, they'd gain a lot.

Think about it, it's like having an older friend who pays for everything! Watching a movie? He pays for you and for popcorn heh.

Thanks for the advice. The relationship I have with my parents is something I worry about, even though sometimes it doesn't seem like that, but I guess it's up to me to change it, right?

Can I just ask you something? How did you manage having lost your parents so soon? It's just because I have no idea how I would react, it's something that has never crossed my mind, but considering how my mum's health has been deteriorating lately, it's something I must think about.

[Lisa R]

Yes I'm real close with my parent. But I'm closer to my mom because she is teaching to cook and a lot of bakeing.I enjoy doing things in the kitchen with but it never use to be like that just recently .The person I'm most close to is my twin brother as we share a special bond.

[Whight]

Thanks for the advice. The relationship I have with my parents is something I worry about, even though sometimes it doesn't seem like that, but I guess it's up to me to change it, right?

Can I just ask you something? How did you manage having lost your parents so soon? It's just because I have no idea how I would react, it's something that has never crossed my mind, but considering how my mum's health has been deteriorating lately, it's something I must think about.

Aww, i'm sorry to hear that. What does she have?
I wish I could tell you I handled it well. My friends told me that I was pretty much out of existence for the few months after it happened. I honestly don't remember much, that time is much of a blur to me. I guess I was just out of it entirely, not really paying attention to anything and just drifting from one thing to the other.
Holidays were and still are the worst for me, the lonliness creeps in and I start to really lose control. I'm ashamed to say that I really didn't handle it well, if you know what I mean...

So my advice really is keep your friends really close by and do whatever you can to avoid thinking about it. Try and always keep your mind occupied on other things, trying to remember you have people who love you. It's hardly a cure, and more of a way to avoid the pain. Maybe someday in the future, i'll also have advice on how to handle the actual pain.


Yes I'm real close with my parent. But I'm closer to my mom because she is teaching to cook and a lot of bakeing.I enjoy doing things in the kitchen with but it never use to be like that just recently .The person I'm most close to is my twin brother as we share a special bond.

That's awesome. I enjoy cooking, sounds like it'll be fun with mom. Especially baking ^^ yum yum cakes!
Also, it's really cool that you're close to your brother. I wish I had one too! How does that bond manifest though? I'd love to hear more.

[CosmicNoodle]

But do you like, do stuff together?

Nope, we don't do anything together. We don't really share many interests. Apart from music and films, but we prefer to do those things alone.

[Elysium]

I'm very close with my parents as well. My mom and I watch TV together often, discuss books, music, and movies, social lives, etc. My dad and I do spend time together, but we don't really have many shared interests, so while I'm close with him as well it doesn't feel the same.

[Living For Love]

Aww, i'm sorry to hear that. What does she have?
I wish I could tell you I handled it well. My friends told me that I was pretty much out of existence for the few months after it happened. I honestly don't remember much, that time is much of a blur to me. I guess I was just out of it entirely, not really paying attention to anything and just drifting from one thing to the other.
Holidays were and still are the worst for me, the lonliness creeps in and I start to really lose control. I'm ashamed to say that I really didn't handle it well, if you know what I mean...

So my advice really is keep your friends really close by and do whatever you can to avoid thinking about it. Try and always keep your mind occupied on other things, trying to remember you have people who love you. It's hardly a cure, and more of a way to avoid the pain. Maybe someday in the future, i'll also have advice on how to handle the actual pain.

We don't know for sure, she complains a lot about headaches and pains on her throat. She also works a lot, in my opinion, she skips a lot of meals because she considers herself overweight, and she never gets enough sleep.

Your reaction seems pretty normal to me, I guess I'd just enter in a deep depression as well. You shouldn't feel ashamed, because I'm sure you tried your best and it's never an easy thing to deal with. Luckily, you had your friends by your side, and that probably helped you too.

[ksdnfkfr]

I was born very autistic, so my parents had to go the extra mile with me from the beginning and they were the right kind of people for the job. Each little progress I made in becoming more responsive to them meant the world to them, so they've always been super attentive and supportive. But also respect and encourage my independence, so let me be whenever possible. So I give them an A+ in parenting. I'm a good kid, but have lots of special needs problems and meltdowns and stuff, so they've had to put in a lot of work and tons of patience. I'm especially close with my dad.

[ChaseDakoda]

You never know how good you have it, like us teens now a day experiment with sex , drugs, (drugs no) pushing the line.

We always think we will have them forever and can't wait to turn 18 and move the heck out from them.

Grandparents tend ( Me and my twin are the youngest ) and are spoiled. But we hear stories on what mom and dad used to do.

So thinking about that I am lucky to have a gread set of parents and grandparents.

They stick by the rules but adjust with the times, ya grandparents have smart phones and even txt us.

But if I lost my parents I would be lost in the wind and go where ever it took me. I would want to be with them but that would not be God's wish.

[Bull]

I am very close to my parents and one set of grandparents. (The other set lives in another state and do not see them that often.) I am especially close to my dad, he is just absolutely awesome. He has never tried to bs me or avoid answering my questions. We live on a cattle farm and when I was 5 or 6 I ask him why the bull was on the cow's back. I got my first lesson in sex ed, my dad told me that that was how the bull helped the cow have a calf. Some time later I over heard my dad and grand dad talking about castrating calves and ask what that was. I got my answer by going with them and watching the process. Later I was taught to help with the process. When I was 10 or 11 I started puberty and my dad told me what was going to happen to my body over the next few years. I am 17 and my brother is about to turn 16. We have always shared a room and a few years ago we moved in to space over the garage that our parents fixed up for us. It is awesome space. We recognize the love they have for us in so many ways and we do our best to show them that we love and respect them., like we all sit together as a family in church while most teens do not. So, yeah, we are all very close family. :D

[Whight]

I was born very autistic, so my parents had to go the extra mile with me from the beginning and they were the right kind of people for the job. Each little progress I made in becoming more responsive to them meant the world to them, so they've always been super attentive and supportive. But also respect and encourage my independence, so let me be whenever possible. So I give them an A+ in parenting. I'm a good kid, but have lots of special needs problems and meltdowns and stuff, so they've had to put in a lot of work and tons of patience. I'm especially close with my dad.

It's good you have parents like that. And it's good they raised you so properly that you also care for them to feel good and happy. To see you succeed. It made me smile to read it :).

We don't know for sure, she complains a lot about headaches and pains on her throat. She also works a lot, in my opinion, she skips a lot of meals because she considers herself overweight, and she never gets enough sleep.

Your reaction seems pretty normal to me, I guess I'd just enter in a deep depression as well. You shouldn't feel ashamed, because I'm sure you tried your best and it's never an easy thing to deal with. Luckily, you had your friends by your side, and that probably helped you too.

Yeah, she should eat. Not eating doesn't really help with weight. It only makes you more hungry and then you eat more when you do eat. I hope she feels better. Maybe she needs a vacation.

Idk, I don't feel like my reaction was okay. I mean, it's still going. People keep telling me that I eventually need to move on and then I either want to punch them for saying those two words or I just start crying thinking about it.
But yeah, I suppose i'm still alive, so there's that. Not that it always feels like a good thing. but it feels alright now.
I will admit though that the only reason i am alive is my best friend, who found me with my blood and called an ambulance in time.


I am very close to my parents and one set of grandparents. (The other set lives in another state and do not see them that often.) I am especially close to my dad, he is just absolutely awesome. He has never tried to bs me or avoid answering my questions. We live on a cattle farm and when I was 5 or 6 I ask him why the bull was on the cow's back. I got my first lesson in sex ed, my dad told me that that was how the bull helped the cow have a calf. Some time later I over heard my dad and grand dad talking about castrating calves and ask what that was. I got my answer by going with them and watching the process. Later I was taught to help with the process. When I was 10 or 11 I started puberty and my dad told me what was going to happen to my body over the next few years. I am 17 and my brother is about to turn 16. We have always shared a room and a few years ago we moved in to space over the garage that our parents fixed up for us. It is awesome space. We recognize the love they have for us in so many ways and we do our best to show them that we love and respect them., like we all sit together as a family in church while most teens do not. So, yeah, we are all very close family. :D

Man.. church... Never have I ever haha. My parents weren't really church people.
But it does seem awesome that your dad is easy going like that and that you now have your own space with your brother.
Though, I suppose you probably prefer your own personal space. (wank related and all that).

[Bull]

Man.. church... Never have I ever haha. My parents weren't really church people.
But it does seem awesome that your dad is easy going like that and that you now have your own space with your brother.
Though, I suppose you probably prefer your own personal space. (wank related and all that).[/QUOTE]

Well, we used to catch each other and say sorry, and duck out. Then it got to the point that it was no big deal, and now we often do it at same time. When we are in our room we are naked. We sometimes shower together and even sleep together if the mood strikes us. Nothing sexual between us.

[Karkat]

I've never been able to be close to my parents. They have repeatedly hurt me, and betrayed my trust, and due to the immense (near absolute) power they have over me (because in the eyes of the US government, unless your parents are beating the shit out of you, not feeding you, maaaaybe scream terrible insults at you and tell you to kill yourself, you are your parents' property.) I can't risk the chance that they'll betray my trust again.

[Whight]

Well, we used to catch each other and say sorry, and duck out. Then it got to the point that it was no big deal, and now we often do it at same time. When we are in our room we are naked. We sometimes shower together and even sleep together if the mood strikes us. Nothing sexual between us.

That sounds cool heh. I think it's cool having a brother you can be sexually free with.

I've never been able to be close to my parents. They have repeatedly hurt me, and betrayed my trust, and due to the immense (near absolute) power they have over me (because in the eyes of the US government, unless your parents are beating the shit out of you, not feeding you, maaaaybe scream terrible insults at you and tell you to kill yourself, you are your parents' property.) I can't risk the chance that they'll betray my trust again.

:( That sounds bad. Want to elaborate? i'm interested to hear more.

[Melodic]

I'm really close to my mom. I can talk to her about anything. My dad and I aren't that close however.

[Karkat]

:( That sounds bad. Want to elaborate? i'm interested to hear more.

Well, my dad used to be physically abusive to some extent- not "Oh, I got spanked as a kid" "physically abusive", but not "Beaten within inches of my life every time I said something wrong" abusive. (Because unfortunately I know some who have fallen into the latter category. :( ) Mostly neglect- leaving me alone all day to my own devices as a really little kid and not really bothering to feed or check up on me, locking me in my room with nothing to do if I was bad (one time, when I was homeschooled by him and my stepmom, I couldn't memorize my multiplication table in time, so he sent me to my room and made me lay in my bed all day with nothing. I couldn't eat, get up to go to the bathroom, sit up, make any noise, or move too much.) He would occasionally grab me really hard (like so hard he left light bruises), or hit me, spank me hard for no reason.

But mostly, my parents have been emotionally abusive. Unsupportive. So on.

My dad doesn't believe it is legitimately possible for me to be either physically or mentally ill (and I'm both). He doesn't believe in sickness mostly- he believes you can kind of willpower yourself out of it, and that you should never treat yourself any differently when you're sick. (Go to work, do whatever you're going to do.) He also expects nothing less than perfection from me, and has only truly been proud of me once in my life- when I got a promotion at work. He places HUGE value on secular goals, ESPECIALLY a good job, college. College is practically an unattainable goal for me. He's repeatedly told me he doesn't 'care' (meaning that he doesn't want me to) if I ever get married or have kids. He's also backed out of every promise I can remember him making to me, he insists that I should buy things on clearance even if they don't fit because "it's not worth it to pay more". He will fight me on buying basic necessities, like shampoo.

I'm the only child he does this for. My older two sisters are not biologically his (I am his kid biologically), however, my dad and stepmom have bent over backwards for them.

My mom, on the other hand, is probably the least abusive, but she still insists that my feelings don't matter when she's stressed out, or needs something out of me. She also insists that "I'm not really that sick."

My stepdad has told me I'm an idiot, I'm whiny and manipulative, that there's "nothing wrong with me, and I'm just making it up", that I basically do everything I do for sympathy, that I'm a con, that I should "just stop doing it" (feeling depressed, having a panic or anxiety attack, etc.) if it makes me feel bad, that I'm doing all this stuff behind my parents' backs (which I kind of am- but a lot of it is due to the fact that I feel I can't confide in them, or turn to them. Ergo, I fend for myself.) and LITERALLY that I am a stupid spoiled brat, and that I need to suck it up and start supporting myself because I'm a terrible freeloader, and I should hate myself.

I mean, I do love them all, but it's totally detrimental to me, because clearly they're very hard to love.

And as far as them "betraying me again"? I've confided to them about being alcoholic. Nothing. Didn't care about helping me. Didn't care about the immense (according to the internet, life-threatening) pain of withdrawal. Confided to them about being suicidal. Got told how spoiled, selfish, ungrateful, and terrible I was, that I should kill myself because they didn't care anymore. I've confided to them about feeling physically ill, nothing. Was hospitalized every time as opposed to going to the doctors as a preventative measure. Took years to convince them to let me go to therapy. Took years to convince them that they should do anything about my mental health.

If I confide to them about something, they either freak out, and tell me how horrible I am, or they shut down and ignore me.

[Living For Love]

Yeah, she should eat. Not eating doesn't really help with weight. It only makes you more hungry and then you eat more when you do eat. I hope she feels better. Maybe she needs a vacation.

Idk, I don't feel like my reaction was okay. I mean, it's still going. People keep telling me that I eventually need to move on and then I either want to punch them for saying those two words or I just start crying thinking about it.
But yeah, I suppose i'm still alive, so there's that. Not that it always feels like a good thing. but it feels alright now.
I will admit though that the only reason i am alive is my best friend, who found me with my blood and called an ambulance in time.

I'm sorry to hear that. I understand why you feel your reaction was not okay, but the fact that you're still here despite everything that happened, the fact that you have friends to support you and that fact that you eventually managed your emotions well, it only speaks highly of you. You should be proud of yourself, most people would probably simply give up like me, but you were strong enough to survive. When people tell you you should move on, they probably don't have the intention to hurt you, but I guess this is something that only someone who has been through it knows what it is like.

[Cognizant]

It's a real good thing that you have a good relationship with your parents.
I'm ok with my parents. If we weren't family, I wouldn't call them my best friends, but they're "those friends you talk to and plan get togethers a lot" but aren't really social with at the same time.

It's kind of hard to be positive around my parents, too. My dad is suffering depression and it sometimes feels like I'm his father....

[Whight]

It's a real good thing that you have a good relationship with your parents.
I'm ok with my parents. If we weren't family, I wouldn't call them my best friends, but they're "those friends you talk to and plan get togethers a lot" but aren't really social with at the same time.

It's kind of hard to be positive around my parents, too. My dad is suffering depression and it sometimes feels like I'm his father....

Well, I suppose they're not supposed to be your best friends. That'll be a bit weird.
But it's awesome that you enjoy spending time with them and planning something.


I'm sorry to hear that. I understand why you feel your reaction was not okay, but the fact that you're still here despite everything that happened, the fact that you have friends to support you and that fact that you eventually managed your emotions well, it only speaks highly of you. You should be proud of yourself, most people would probably simply give up like me, but you were strong enough to survive. When people tell you you should move on, they probably don't have the intention to hurt you, but I guess this is something that only someone who has been through it knows what it is like.

Thanks. I'm sure you have your strengths too. Don't get down on yourself. But, I really appreciate your kind words.

Well, my dad used to be physically abusive to some extent- not "Oh, I got spanked as a kid" "physically abusive", but not "Beaten within inches of my life every time I said something wrong" abusive. (Because unfortunately I know some who have fallen into the latter category. :( ) Mostly neglect- leaving me alone all day to my own devices as a really little kid and not really bothering to feed or check up on me, locking me in my room with nothing to do if I was bad (one time, when I was homeschooled by him and my stepmom, I couldn't memorize my multiplication table in time, so he sent me to my room and made me lay in my bed all day with nothing. I couldn't eat, get up to go to the bathroom, sit up, make any noise, or move too much.) He would occasionally grab me really hard (like so hard he left light bruises), or hit me, spank me hard for no reason.....

To be honest, from where I sit, it looks like your dad just isn't sure how to be a parent. I'm sure many people struggle with it while they learn. I'm sorry he didn't improve at it though.
But I also think you have a serious clash of opinions with your parents which put you at a real impasse. You should try to bridge the gap, perhaps talk to them and hopefully they'll reach out to you too.

[Karkat]

To be honest, from where I sit, it looks like your dad just isn't sure how to be a parent. I'm sure many people struggle with it while they learn. I'm sorry he didn't improve at it though.
But I also think you have a serious clash of opinions with your parents which put you at a real impasse. You should try to bridge the gap, perhaps talk to them and hopefully they'll reach out to you too.

I hardly think caring about my personal welfare can boiled down to a simple "clash of opinion". If it's their opinion that I shouldn't give a fuck about what happens to me, maybe I don't need them in my life.

[kaydencorey]

I'm very close to my parents, more so with my dad, we go out for a run at least once a day together and chat about all sorts of things, I always feel like I can talk to him about anything :)

[CrazyPerson101]

So.. I mean. I've always been relatively close to my parents, and i've noticed it's more so than most people.
Perhaps it's because we were always moving, so I didn't really get a chance to have close friends - But my father was a really good friend of mine.
I would always enjoy watching movies with him and playing games. He'd always beat the shit out of me in Call of Duty heh.
It could also be the fact that I don't have brothers or sisters or any other form of family. My dad was an orphan as well, and my mom had a gigantic fallout with her family, so much so that I don't even know who they are - never met 'em.


So, i'm wondering. Is anyone else here close to his/her parents? Like, do you have shared activities and hobbies?

(Man, thinking about it makes me really miss Dad Y_Y .. and Mom, of course!).


Yeah, I know what you mean. My Mom has MS and has had it for 3 years now so we have grown closer that we were before. We do different things together. My mom used to kick my rear end at this wrestling game we had untill I finally beat her and then the game system it was made for died :/ so we don't do that anymore. I have to help her alot so she's more open about stuff ( Like puberty ,sex etc. ) with me and as I am with her. :)

[Caver]

No, I rarely see my father, and my mother doesn't show interest in me, she finds any tiny stupid reason to argue with me, I wish I had a good relationship with at least one of them. But in fact, in reality that will never happen.

[Stronk Serb]

Wow. I'm sprry for your loss. You shouldn't be ashamed. You can't really get over the loss. I have a healthy relation with my parents. I ask dad for advice on teemage stuff, I ask mom how to do the housekeeping stuff, we are pretty open.

[aurident]

I'm close to my parents, but more closer with my Mom. Our bond grew stronger after my teenage years.

[xlBitterSweetlx]

I am very close to my mother. :) She's a bit like the older sister I never had, or my grown-up best friend. I can share.. well, everything with her.
My dad, well. There used to be a period when we didn't talk much, as he lives in a different city - not that they are divorced or anything - but we call each other often. But the bond with my mother is definitely stronger.

[Body odah Man]

So.. I mean. I've always been relatively close to my parents, and i've noticed it's more so than most people.
Perhaps it's because we were always moving, so I didn't really get a chance to have close friends - But my father was a really good friend of mine.
I would always enjoy watching movies with him and playing games. He'd always beat the shit out of me in Call of Duty heh.
It could also be the fact that I don't have brothers or sisters or any other form of family. My dad was an orphan as well, and my mom had a gigantic fallout with her family, so much so that I don't even know who they are - never met 'em.


So, i'm wondering. Is anyone else here close to his/her parents? Like, do you have shared activities and hobbies?

(Man, thinking about it makes me really miss Dad Y_Y .. and Mom, of course!).

I like the pic under ur profile. As for your thread..sorta I guess.

[Babiole]

I have a very healthy relationship with my parents. Since I'm autistic and there's a lot of discrimination against autistic people in France, they've always had to stand by me. They fought for me to get a proper education and would never put me in an institution. We don't get into arguments that often, and our house is pretty peaceful. I'm also close with the majority of my relatives. I can't think of any that I have a lot of problems with.

[Dalcourt]

I don't know my Mom, but I'm very close to my Dad. From an outside perspective it doesn't seem like a good relationship maybe, but he is my best friend really and the only person who really understands me. He has his bad sides but when I really need him he never let's me down and protects me against anyone... We have the same taste in music, the same sense of humor and understand each other even without words. I can talk about anything and he supports me best he can.

[Gamma Male]

Not at all. I never really have been.

[Whight]

I like the pic under ur profile. As for your thread..sorta I guess.

Emm, thanks I guess :). It's no Yugioh though.

I am very close to my mother. :) She's a bit like the older sister I never had, or my grown-up best friend. I can share.. well, everything with her.
My dad, well. There used to be a period when we didn't talk much, as he lives in a different city - not that they are divorced or anything - but we call each other often. But the bond with my mother is definitely stronger.

How does that work? about your dad that is, why was he in a different city, but not divorced?

I don't know my Mom, but I'm very close to my Dad. From an outside perspective it doesn't seem like a good relationship maybe, but he is my best friend really and the only person who really understands me. He has his bad sides but when I really need him he never let's me down and protects me against anyone... We have the same taste in music, the same sense of humor and understand each other even without words. I can talk about anything and he supports me best he can.

That's a good thing. Probably awesome to be able to share music with your dad, and watch funny stuff.

[lucygrove]

i am really close to my mum - we talk about nearly everything

[xlBitterSweetlx]

Well, my dad has a hotel in another city and that's where his parents live, so he needs to be there. He comes from time to time. :)

[Steve365]

I very close to both of my parents.