Cognizant
June 9th, 2014, 09:40 PM
OK so this is an update regarding this thread: http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=209207
If you don't have time to read it here's the rundown: My friend who already suffers from depression had his father die last Wednesday, and I got extremely worried that he would do something stupid like self harm in some capacity. At the time of the thread, I wasn't sure what to do next.
In that timeframe, I messaged him and said something along the lines of "I'm really sorry man, i'm here for you though. please talk to me in the morning, okay?"
That was Thursday of last week. he didn't reply. In fact, he didn't talk to me at all until today (Monday). We chatted a little, then when I asked him how he was he said "I feel horrible". I basically reinstated my above message again, and with the advice I received on my other thread, I suggested hanging out or doing something - ynow, to get out of the house and his mind off of things.
Adam being Adam, he declined. I would've been fine with it, but his reasoning threw me off - he declined because he said he needed to study for the upcoming ACT, and he has to prepare for driving school. This really upset me because he has so many expectations. In fact, he's doing way too much for the state of mind he is in. I tried to reassure him that he could always take it another time and that nobody should have to take it if they're going through some deep shit in their life.
But no cigar for me. He declined anyways.
I'm honestly not sure what to do. Of course I respect his choice on what to do, but at the same time I'm frustrated because he's obviously wanting my assistance/presence not really telling me how to help him out. I don't know - should I just be direct and say "I want to know how I can help you feel better" or should I just let it slide?
Sorry if this all sounds silly to you - I suck at giving advice/helping distressed people. =\
If you don't have time to read it here's the rundown: My friend who already suffers from depression had his father die last Wednesday, and I got extremely worried that he would do something stupid like self harm in some capacity. At the time of the thread, I wasn't sure what to do next.
In that timeframe, I messaged him and said something along the lines of "I'm really sorry man, i'm here for you though. please talk to me in the morning, okay?"
That was Thursday of last week. he didn't reply. In fact, he didn't talk to me at all until today (Monday). We chatted a little, then when I asked him how he was he said "I feel horrible". I basically reinstated my above message again, and with the advice I received on my other thread, I suggested hanging out or doing something - ynow, to get out of the house and his mind off of things.
Adam being Adam, he declined. I would've been fine with it, but his reasoning threw me off - he declined because he said he needed to study for the upcoming ACT, and he has to prepare for driving school. This really upset me because he has so many expectations. In fact, he's doing way too much for the state of mind he is in. I tried to reassure him that he could always take it another time and that nobody should have to take it if they're going through some deep shit in their life.
But no cigar for me. He declined anyways.
I'm honestly not sure what to do. Of course I respect his choice on what to do, but at the same time I'm frustrated because he's obviously wanting my assistance/presence not really telling me how to help him out. I don't know - should I just be direct and say "I want to know how I can help you feel better" or should I just let it slide?
Sorry if this all sounds silly to you - I suck at giving advice/helping distressed people. =\