why do i feel like this?

[Unknown_one]

.Why do i always feel like mo one cares about me or what i have to say. I feel paranoid that people are always criticizing me everywhere i go. It's like i have to abuse myself to feel good about me. I am a fun person when i am around others but when i am alone i become so hateful and evil towards myself i cut like last week but they were deep. I feel so god damn worthless my pyschiatrist says i have up a vasad( a wall) blocking out people cause i am afraid of being hurt or rejected by anyone.

[Miserabilia]

I can relate to this. For me this is deeply connected to social anxiety and anxiety in general.

[Harley Quinn]

Putting up walls because you're scared will never help. Sometimes, the best thing to do is become totally vulnerable to being hurt by someone. You have to let yourself trust someone else. The more walls you build up, the worse you'll get honestly. Not everyone out there is going to hurt you. They have better things to do with their own lives than to hurt your or reject you. I think you're scared of being alone, so I do suggest that you try opening yourself up and maybe the intense hatred or need for control will fade.