FUcking Relapse

[xXoblivionXx]

what the fuck!?! :( I was almost 2 years clean and then I fucking relapse :( why am i so fucking weak and stupid. This is fucking messed up, i was suppose to be done with this, I'm not a cutter anymore. I was having a panic attack and I was pissed about something and I fucking cant control more than two fucking feelings at once so i had to go fuck up everything and fucking relapse

[thatgothgirluknow]

hey dnt beat urself up its ok we all mess up sometimes u did it for almost 2 years be proud of urself i could never get that far

[xXoblivionXx]

hey dnt beat urself up its ok we all mess up sometimes u did it for almost 2 years be proud of urself i could never get that far

no its not okay, i was in a really bad place and barely made it out alive, I can't fucking relapse back into my old habits

[thatgothgirluknow]

no its not okay, i was in a really bad place and barely made it out alive, I can't fucking relapse back into my old habits
hey its ok so u messed up once that doesnt mean that your doomed to go back to old habbits u can start a new streak

[Ben_Frost]

no its not okay, i was in a really bad place and barely made it out alive, I can't fucking relapse back into my old habits

Then look for something else you can do to avoid cutting yourself, keep your mind busy and your hands full. I chew gum to not relapse. You've been able to not cut yourself for 2 years, don't throw it all away now.

[xXoblivionXx]

hey its ok so u messed up once that doesnt mean that your doomed to go back to old habbits u can start a new streak

It's not that easy when I cut and then stop I get suicidal

[Ben_Frost]

It's not that easy when I cut and then stop I get suicidal

No one said it was easy, just look for something that does keep your mind busy. Push away those thoughts, do your best to try no one is telling you to do it right away, if you managed to do it for 2 years you can keep it going just do what you have been doing for all that time.

[xXoblivionXx]

No one said it was easy, just look for something that does keep your mind busy. Push away those thoughts, do your best to try no one is telling you to do it right away, if you managed to do it for 2 years you can keep it going just do what you have been doing for all that time.

I don't remember what I did, I stopped cutting and got really depressed and eventually attempted and got hospitalized. I can't let that happen again.

[Ben_Frost]

I don't remember what I did, I stopped cutting and got really depressed and eventually attempted and got hospitalized. I can't let that happen again.

Then stop cutting and do something else, find any other thing to do that interests you. You don't want to end up hospitalized then just don't attempt another suicide, channel your anxiety through something to do.

I think you should look for psychiatric help on this too, a suicide attempt is an emergency in Psychiatry...you need professional help with this, not saying you're insane, just trying to help you out here.

[thatgothgirluknow]

your stronger than u think if u could do it before i know u can do it now it may be a little rough at first but ull make it

[xXoblivionXx]

Then stop cutting and do something else, find any other thing to do that interests you. You don't want to end up hospitalized then just don't attempt another suicide, channel your anxiety through something to do.

I think you should look for psychiatric help on this too, a suicide attempt is an emergency in Psychiatry...you need professional help with this, not saying you're insane, just trying to help you out here.
Okay, like reading or music or something like that..

I had a therapist after wards for a while and anti depressants.. I should be fine now and I have been until tonight :(

[Ben_Frost]

Okay, like reading or music or something like that..

I had a therapist after wards for a while and anti depressants.. I should be fine now and I have been until tonight :(

Exactly, entertain yourself, keep yourself busy to avoid self harming. And try to go to therapy again, and take your meds. It's the best advice I can give you :)

[xXoblivionXx]

Okay, I'll do that. I recently got tapered off my meds and got discharged from therapy I guess I was doing really well and I thought I was, then this happened. So you think it is a one time thing or something more serious?

[Microcosm]

Exactly, entertain yourself, keep yourself busy to avoid self harming. And try to go to therapy again, and take your meds. It's the best advice I can give you :)

I think that is good advice. Just distract yourself from these feelings and find something you enjoy to do.

[gothy]

2 years is amazing. Don't feel bad about breaking your streak. You have proven that you are much stronger than me and you can continue your streak again one day at a time. I listen to music and write so i dont cut. It works for me most of the time. I wish you the best and i hope you feel better.
Sincerely,
gothy

[Karkat]

what the fuck!?! :( I was almost 2 years clean and then I fucking relapse :( why am i so fucking weak and stupid. This is fucking messed up, i was suppose to be done with this, I'm not a cutter anymore. I was having a panic attack and I was pissed about something and I fucking cant control more than two fucking feelings at once so i had to go fuck up everything and fucking relapse

I recently relapsed after nearly two years of being clean from alcohol- it's tough, I know.

But the thing is, sobriety/keeping yourself from self-harming is very good and all, but it shouldn't be a punishment. It shouldn't be something you lord over yourself and beat yourself with when you're down. It should be a marker of how strong you are! I just have to keep telling myself that.

[Miserabilia]

I feel you ):
I hated when I started again.
All we can do is try again to stop and go down that same ol' impossible-seeming road..

[Desuetude]

I know you're feeling downhearted and I did notice that you hadn't been on VT for months which seemed like a good sign. I don't know whether you've tried it but maybe attempt the paper chain project or something to that effect where you can count the days and have a visual reminder that you're getting back up to that 2 year bench mark you've set. That's not disappearing, it might seem impossible to reach it again but you've proved that you have the strength to do that now so you don't have to turn back to resorting to self harm every day.

If you've come off your meds and stopped therapy then obviously you might feel a little unstable but you need another outlet that you can rely on that acts as a type of therapy for when you start to get the urge to self harm. Try out new things, I'm sure you've heard all the different types of distractions and alternatives to self harm but I really do think that it's worth trying some of them out. Even watching one of your favourite youtubers, reading a book, researching something you're really intrested in, etc. There are so many things that could be done instead of self harm and I'm sure you'll find one of them that somewhat works for you. Don't let this small slip up get in the way of the bigger goal you've set yourself. You've come too far to go back to turn back to self harm now and you know that it's not going to be beneficial at all if you did.

[xXoblivionXx]

I know you're feeling downhearted and I did notice that you hadn't been on VT for months which seemed like a good sign. I don't know whether you've tried it but maybe attempt the paper chain project or something to that effect where you can count the days and have a visual reminder that you're getting back up to that 2 year bench mark you've set. That's not disappearing, it might seem impossible to reach it again but you've proved that you have the strength to do that now so you don't have to turn back to resorting to self harm every day.

If you've come off your meds and stopped therapy then obviously you might feel a little unstable but you need another outlet that you can rely on that acts as a type of therapy for when you start to get the urge to self harm. Try out new things, I'm sure you've heard all the different types of distractions and alternatives to self harm but I really do think that it's worth trying some of them out. Even watching one of your favourite youtubers, reading a book, researching something you're really intrested in, etc. There are so many things that could be done instead of self harm and I'm sure you'll find one of them that somewhat works for you. Don't let this small slip up get in the way of the bigger goal you've set yourself. You've come too far to go back to turn back to self harm now and you know that it's not going to be beneficial at all if you did.

It's good to hear from you Nikki!

I'm doing better, I've been keeping myself busy, I don't think I should be cutting again. I'm almost certain that this relapse was a one time mess up kind of thing. The only good thing about it I guess it that I showed myself that I can get back on track.

[bdenurie]

I'm sorry :/// I hope u get better

[xXoblivionXx]

God, I think I'm going to do it again :(

[bob97]

God, I think I'm going to do it again :(

Please don't :( go on a walk. Watch tv in the living room. Just not that

[lightPainting]

Don't cut! Please don't!

[lightPainting]

this is something I made
https://farm6.staticflickr.com/5472/14269450569_7f9a6bc0e8_c.jpg (https://flic.kr/p/nJWEvP)tumblr_n3jmi7Hznd1ttmvd8o1_1280 (https://flic.kr/p/nJWEvP) by Sir.Penguin (https://www.flickr.com/people//), on Flickr

[xXoblivionXx]

Sorry guys, I'm back to day zero :(

[lightPainting]

Sorry guys, I'm back to day zero :(

It's going to be alright. just hold on to hope. look on the bright side, you almost went 2 years without cutting. that's like 730 days!! be proud that you made it that far. You'r a strong girl. its ok if you have to start over, we all mess up from time to time.

[xXoblivionXx]

It's going to be alright. just hold on to hope. look on the bright side, you almost went 2 years without cutting. that's like 730 days!! be proud that you made it that far. You'r a strong girl. its ok if you have to start over, we all mess up from time to time.

Yeah, I suppose we do but my concern is that I'm going to keep relapsing :/

[dirtyboxer55]

once you've been addicted to something it's very hard to break it. people who have been sober of cocaine or cigarettes will tell you that every day they still want a smoke so bad but they learn to cope with their impulses. you can learn to cope with your impulses of self harm because you are strong. my addiction is getting hit in the head and I love every second of it.

[Anathema]

2 years? you're definitely not weak
i couldn't go that long unfortunately

[miley]

2 years is amazing! you should be proud of yourself for that and i am really sorry you felt the need to do it again
hope you get better sometime