I cheated on my bf

[DanielleYoung]

And I feel so terrible about it.

I did it twice with two different guys within the first month that we were dating.

Should I tell him?

[Gumleaf]

well it depends. when these things are kept secret they always have a funny way of coming out by accident sometime down the track. but then telling him could make things awkward to say the least. i guese you just have to weigh up whether you can live with what you have done and are confident that he will never find out, or do you risk your relationship by telling him the truth. i know it can't be an easy decision to make, but you have to consider all possibilities first i think.

[Kaleidoscope Eyes]

Yes, you should tell him. If you don't, you'll continue feeling terrible about it which may get in the way of your relationship. Also, you wouldn't want him to find out later from someone else, would you? That'd be worse. It's always best to be honest. If you didn't want this to cause problems, you shouldn't have done it. Now you kind of have to fess up to what you've done and hope for the best. Next time, think more carefully about things before you do them. Good luck!

[Sugaree]

All relationships are based on truth not lies. You should tell him about what you did. If you want a relationship to last than you have to keep that commitment you made to be his girlfriend and vice versa.

So yes go out and tell him. Don't get nervous. Just let him down gently and I'm sure he'll understand and forgive you.

Good luck.

[A.J.]

Oh My god yes! he deserves to know. If you cheated on him, and you actually feel bad and care about him, you'll tell him. And if he dumps you, im sorry but its your fault

[ScotsGirl]

Firstly, why do you want to tell him?
Secondly, why did you cheat on him?
When you know the answer to those, then I guess you'll know whether or not you should tell him, as well as whether or not you should carry on the relationship...

I mean, once can be passed off as a mistake, but twice? Thats slightly tougher.
I guess you really need to think about why you did it.

I do have another question though (btw you dont have to answer anything on here if you dont want to :) ) you said that it happened in the 1st month, have you been together much longer?

xxx

[jay92]

well if you have cheated your wasting HIS time and YOUR time
and as he likes u more and more when you eventually tell him (lets say 4 months) he will just hurt and hate more then he wud if u told him now.

dont be a b#$%@, tell him or you will end up looking like more of a w hore when he finds out

i dont wanna be too mean but it gives me the shits when people screw around with peoples feelings

[DanielleYoung]

Firstly, why do you want to tell him?
Secondly, why did you cheat on him?
When you know the answer to those, then I guess you'll know whether or not you should tell him, as well as whether or not you should carry on the relationship...

I mean, once can be passed off as a mistake, but twice? Thats slightly tougher.
I guess you really need to think about why you did it.

I do have another question though (btw you dont have to answer anything on here if you dont want to :) ) you said that it happened in the 1st month, have you been together much longer?

xxx
I guess I feel guilty which is why I want to tell him.

I cheated on him because (at the time) our sex life wasn't that good (sex with him was painful and he came too quickly - we later worked this stuff out and now sex is great between us) and I didn't really know what I wanted. I mean I liked him and was attracted to him but I didn't know if he was really the one or not.

The cheating happened in our first month of dating but we have been together for over 6 months already.

[tombstonequeen]

tell the poor guy
such a shameful thing lust is
i'm sorry but that excuse that the sex wasn't great isn't really a good reason
actually cheating period has no reasoning behind it
my philosophy
a relationship is based on truth and respect
if one of those is broken or not there then the relationship will not work
its up to you to make a decent mature decision about this

[Hyper]

I guess I feel guilty which is why I want to tell him.

I cheated on him because (at the time) our sex life wasn't that good (sex with him was painful and he came too quickly - we later worked this stuff out and now sex is great between us) and I didn't really know what I wanted. I mean I liked him and was attracted to him but I didn't know if he was really the one or not.

The cheating happened in our first month of dating but we have been together for over 6 months already.

Then don't tell him, if you genuinelly like him and feel guilty why the hell would you tell him? Sure trust and blah blah but the thing is if you honestly care why purposely hurt him? I doubt you'll beat yourself up about it less even if you do tell him but the reality is you could rather loose that relationship if you tell him.

[tombstonequeen]

yes but cheating on someone
that relationship has already ended when the act was done

[ScotsGirl]

I guess I feel guilty which is why I want to tell him.

I cheated on him because (at the time) our sex life wasn't that good (sex with him was painful and he came too quickly - we later worked this stuff out and now sex is great between us) and I didn't really know what I wanted. I mean I liked him and was attracted to him but I didn't know if he was really the one or not.

The cheating happened in our first month of dating but we have been together for over 6 months already.

Do think that you should tell him, if your main reason is because you feel bad?
There are always going to be people who will completely write you off if you admit to cheating, however, you have admitted your mistake, and you are trying to deal with it and hopefully have learnt from it.
I believe the person who could get hurt and shouldnt get hurt, their feelings should be the most important factor.
Would he want you to be completely honest, or would he be completely broken if he knew...

xxx

[Kaleidoscope Eyes]

I agree that the boyfriend's feelings should come into consideration. However, if it's really bothering you, you shouldn't have to hold this in just to protect him. It won't lead to a healthy future for the relationship (neither will his finding out later from someone else, although since it's been 6 months I think you're mostly in the clear). However, if you feel that you've learned your lesson and that you're ready to leave the cheating behind you, it's not as necessary to tell him. I still hold that honesty is the best policy in ANY relationship but if you've moved on, it's not affecting the relationship the way things are, and you're just telling him so you can feel like you've done the right thing, you're likely to cause some problems because now he has to deal with it. You've got to figure out which road is best for you.

[-Silence]

I'm sorry, but that's really shitty.
Yes you should tell him.

If not you will feel guilty throughout the whole relationship.
And if you tell him and he doesn't leave you then you just may be closer with him.

[DanielleYoung]

So, since I want to continue with a healthy relationship with him...

I told my boyfriend and he was completely devastated.

He said he couldn't trust me and I begged him to forgive me and trust me. I told him I was an open book and gave him all of my journals to prove that.

He didn't understand what he did wrong - and he didn't do anything wrong, it was me. But he didn't understand that, I'm afraid. He felt inadequate and terrible. He asked me details of the encounters and I told him honestly what happened. It was a mess

I don't know what is going to happen. I'm so sad. :confused:

[jay92]

no offense but i hope he dumps you,
you shouldnt get away with it.... twice!

[sabotaged111]

the most important thing to do is put yourself in his shoes.would you want to be told if he cheated on you? and to help you out, i would definetley want to know. :D Hope i helped.

[Gumleaf]

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