Gay with a Girlfriend?

[Blah125]

So, I'm 17 and I've been pretty confident that I have been gay (I haven't told anyone) for a while now, like I have always been attracted to men and women have never caught my eye sexually. However, a year ago, a girl came into my life, and I have found myself extremely attracted to her, emotionally AND sexually. At first, I just enjoyed her company and we were really great friends, but soon I found myself actually getting aroused when she was around and we eventually hit it off and we are now dating. She was my first relationship, and we've made out and fooled around (no sex) plenty of times and each time I have totally enjoyed it and was turned on by it. I sincerely love her, and she is someone I can see myself being with for a very long time.

But the thing is, and it is expected, is that despite having my girlfriend, I still long for sexual interaction with a guy. I don't feel this when I am actually WITH my girlfriend, but I feel like if her and I were to commit to a long term relationship, I would still desire doing stuff with a man, even though we are emotionally and sexually attracted to each other.

This girl is someone who I care for so deeply, and someone who cares about me very deeply, and I can honestly say that this is love, for real. I am afraid that my desires for sex with a guy will get in the way of this relationship. I can see myself having a LONG relationship with her, and this is something that is extremely depressing me because I wish I was completely satisfied by her and that I didn't have these urges. I want to know if this is just normal, like a married straight man getting turned on by a hot woman he sees, or if I MUST pursue men in relationships in order to feel completely satisfied. Help?

[Living For Love]

Maybe those urges you feel for other guys might eventually vanish as you get closer and closer to your girlfriend, and as the relationship you have with her strengthens. It sounds to me that you're really happy with the relationship you have with her now, so that's obviously a good thing, but if you think you'll never become satisfied with her (or only with her) then maybe you should just wait some time and see, as the relationship evolves, if you keep feeling that way or not. Let me ask you something: if you were in a relationship with a guy, would you feel totally satisfied with him only?

[Zachary G]

maybe your reality is that you are actually having bisexual feelings - it doesnt mean that you have to have sex with a guy, but you have to come to terms with bisexuality as your truth. if your gf loves you they way you love her and you think there is a future for you with her, then maybe you should be honest with her and come out as being bisexual, but exclusive to your relationship with her. If that makes any sense.

[Pepito]

It sounds as if you`re a bisexual. If i was you i`d tell her since honesty is the most important thing in any relationship. And from what you said, you don't have any urges/feelings about other lads when you're with her, so I think that it means she's satisfying you completely, if you get what i mean

[Faolan]

I know a couple of women who have been together for 30-some years, and one of them identifies as straight, even though she's in a committed relationship with another woman. That being said, I'm sure the opposite can be true. Don't box yourself in, but don't let go of her either. You should try to open up to her about your feelings; I'm sure she will be understanding. As for longing for intimacy with other men, that may never go away, but it is also quite possible that it will, as you get closer to your girlfriend. Only time will tell. Whatever happens, good luck with your love life.