Two scenarios, girl dilemmas

[Sundaki]

To start, I'm 14


First one:

So, I was(and still am) friends with this girl. I was planning to ask her out on Valentines Day. I was going to buy 6 flowers, tape the words will, you, go, out, with, and me each on a separate flower, mix them up, and give them to her. I told two of my friends what I was gonna do, and one of them told her. I then found out that she knew, and she found out I knew that she knew. She started to question if our friendship would last, so, she got all confused, and said no because she liked me too much and didn't want to hurt me. So we made it official, I asked and she said no.

Now she has this other boyfriend(whom she didn't meet until after our whole thing). She likes him, but he's generally a jerk. He's also a jerk to me and the girls other friends. I know he's going to eventually be a jerk to her too, and make her even more scared of ruining friendships through dating. I have no clue what to do. Help her anybody?



Second one:

Bit simpler. There's a girl I like. We don't have much in common but we're friends and get along really well. I don't know if she likes me or not. It's possible, but I have no reason to believe she does. I don't want her to feel uncomfortable around me if I ask her out and she says no. Anything I can do?

[Gumleaf]

1) there is not much you can do other then wait for her to find out for herself that he is a jerk. but really, nothing you can do will make it better for her or you because she is likely just to think your jealous, and will be even more attracted to him. and then your friendship would go away completely.

2) well you won't know until you ask, but its true that you will be putting your friendship at risk if you do ask her. what you need to consider is if it is worth the risk of potentially making things awkward between you and possibly losing a friend.

[Sundaki]

alright. for the first one, I really do care about this friend, as a friend, is there anyway around him being a jerk to her at all?

[Gumleaf]

how is he being a jerk? maybe you could approach him about it? but really, thats probably not a good idea. caring for her might just mean letting her find out for herself. i've been in a similar situation with a cousin. i didn't like her new bf but i finally figured that if he makes her happy, then i should be happy for them. now i am, we all get along ok.

[A.J.]

1) dont worry about that guy, what goes around comes around, and I gotta tell you, karma can be a bitch.

2) I think if you get to know her a little better she could be a good companion

[jay92]

1 - keep being the chicks friend, be a really good friend. When they break up be there for her bla bla bla n ur in

[Falk 'Ace' Flyer]

Just a word of advice: don't tell your friends secrets about gifts for girls (unless your CLOSEST friend, I guess). I mean, my friend told another what he was going to get his g/f, and the kid flat out told her! Just keep those things to yourself- it was a brilliant idea though. And hey, why let it go to waste? Try it with this other girl after you get to know her more.

Best of luck mate.

[Sundaki]

Ok, thank you all. You've helped a bunch. I think I may ask this girl out within the week. And theres nothin I can do for my friend except wait and hope for the easiest.

[Gumleaf]

Ok, thank you all. You've helped a bunch. I think I may ask this girl out within the week. And theres nothin I can do for my friend except wait and hope for the easiest.

exactly. there is nothing you can do for your friend other then to wait and let her find out for herself about him being a jerk.