Long Distant Girlfriend Help.

[Woryh]

I met the perfect girl a while ago. She lives in Ireland, I am in Oregon. We obviously started out as friends. She asked me out a while back. We been in constant contact with each other. We even exchanged the words "I love you." She was the first girl i said this to since like 7-8 years. When i was like in 4th grade. She was the first girl in that time to catch my interest. I think about her all the time. There is a time difference of 8 hours. So we can only talk during the morning and night for both of us unless its the weekend. We make the best of that time as possible. We stay up late for each other and get up early.
I would send her long letters thought the mail but if her dad or mom found out they would probably have a dragon. (Cows not big enough) Same with mine. As much as i dont like to say it, it gets hard at time to find things to talk about. We usually send a huge emails to each other before bed and during the day. They range from random chat to talking about sexual fantasies with each other. We have never send any nude pictures to each other. I dont think we will every.
I am honestly not even sure what i am wanting from posting this.
Maybe could you give me your opinions on Long distant Relationships?
Have you ever had one? How did it go?
How did you met that person?
What are cute things to do with a Long distance relationship?
I really really really do love her. As she does I. I would cry if we broke up (I am not ashamed to say that). She was the first one in 8 years that sparked any interest in me. I truly think she is the one... We even made plans to meet each other. They are realistic.
Comments? Questions?
Is there anything really special i can do? I would do anything to keep her.

[CosmicNoodle]

Well, I've never had a long distance relationship. But I have had long distance friendships. And I see no reason not to have them!
As for some cute things to do. You could use snail mail, its a service that let's you send an email with a delay. From days to decades. Set some up, some for a few days, some for weeks, months? Years? That way at random times, no matter what's happened, you get remindspers about how much you once cared for each other, and how much you still may. And how it all started

[Woryh]

Thank you for that idea!!! I had no idea something like that existed. Any ideas on what i should up in them?

[Plasma]

I'm in an LDR right now, and I really have nothing to complain about. I love the girl to death and have no regrets.

Im not really sure what you guys could do specifically, but I know that skype is real life saver. It makes you feel so much closer to that person. I can't explain how much better it makes me feel.

[Woryh]

I live in the middle of nowhere. So skype is a bit out of the question as i have Satellite internet.... if you haven't experienced it i dont recommend it unless that's the only thing you can get. She lives in North Ireland. (Its the one with all the bad stuff going on) Internet is not really good there to. Hers dies while we are talking over kik :(

[CosmicNoodle]

Thank you for that idea!!! I had no idea something like that existed. Any ideas on what i should up in them?

Just little bits if data about you at the time. Depending on how nlong you of set them for. Like age, height, a picture, a love letter. Just a cute little thing. I've done it with some girlfriends I have had.
One time, we broke up, it was messy. Really messy. Unfixable. We both moved on and forgot each other, and one day she dropped me a line asking to make up and just be friends, it made me so happy.
As it turns out she got one of the Emails I had sent her, it had been of put by two years.

It reminds people how much someone once cared for them, or still does. It has saved my ass one or two times, and given me lovely surprises. Its a tried and tested method for me.
Not sure of the device stille exists. Just Google it and you'll likely fond a service that does the same thing as the one I used to use

[Woryh]

I cannot find the Snail mail site. Could you possibly try and find a link? I will also keep searching. (I found a site called EmailAlibi)

[Camazotz]

I cannot find the Snail mail site. Could you possibly try and find a link? I will also keep searching. (I found a site called EmailAlibi)

EmailAlibi should work fine, just enter your email address, her email address, a message, and on the bottom select what day you want it to be sent on.

As for long-distance relationships, I would personally never recommend them. They're impossible to maintain forever, and you don't get to form the same bond that you would being with them in person.

Don't take this personally OP, but I don't think you've really experienced that kind of love yet (I'm not sure there's a single person on VT that has). I know it feels like love, but it's usually just considered "infatuation" in teenagers. I don't want to take away your positive feelings, but I think you're still too young and inexperienced to know what love is. This is made only more difficult in long-distance relationships because you never get to know the person up close, so there's a lot about each other that people don't get to know.

I still support people in long-distance relationships, I just don't encourage people to look for partners that they may never meet. It's near-impossible to truly understand another person over online interactions, especially to fall in love with them. I hope you and your girlfriend can make it work, but don't forget that there are potential girlfriends that you can meet in person.

[Rallo]

Was in an LDR for 15months, was quite an amazing experience.
They can be hard, extremely hard. Best tip I can give, don't give up too much of what you enjoy for your relationship; don't stay up all night every night to talk to them, keep your sleep pattern.
I love the idea of emailing as it forces you to really think about what you're saying and to really talk to them. Once you start changing your sleep pattern and not continuing with your own life (skipping school or other activities) things start to go down hill. In an LDR your life's are separate, don't try to merge your life with your partners while so far away. That's a mistake I made that ruined my LDR. Your life's are separate due to the distance, if you find yourself (or your partner) changing their lifestyle to suit each other, you may start seeing problems.

[Melodic]

I'm gonna say, it's worth the try. Statistics don't really tell LDRs, it's the two people that can tell if it will happen.

I'm struggling in mine right now, however the memories me and him have had so far has made it worth it and I hope it'll continue soon.

[CollegeGirl]

I had a long distance relationship once. I lived in New York, and the guy lived in Maryland. I find that long distance relationships are definitely possible. If both individuals are equally invested. It also depends on how old the individuals are. If you are old enough to visit each other and make certain arrangements for contact, then it is noticeably easier. Plus, you don't want to limit yourself to one person too early in life before you get a chance to explore and experience. But there is nothing wrong with keeping in contact with someone you really like and care for, and just seeing where things go between the two of you. Good Luck, I am sure you will be fine.

[Sarah18]

I'm currently in a long distance relationship and have been for over a year. We met online on a forum site, kind like this but for people that were a little more mature. He is 9 years older than me and our relationship has been very successful so far. We keep in contact regularly with texts/phone calls and all that stuff. I'm actually getting ready to send him a big box of letters and gifts that I've been writing and making and planning on sending him for awhile now.

These relationships are delicate, only those who understand the importance of honesty, trust and communication can make a long distance relationship survive. It is much, MUCH harder than what would be categorized as a "normal" relationship. One thing to take into consideration is the lack of physical connection. If you can deal with that, and she can deal with that, then you are already a step ahead. Planning is everything. It is important to make time for each other, but DO NOT devote all of your time to them. Just like a "normal" relationship, you have other friends, you have work and school and hobbies. Continue to participate in those things. The only difference between a LDR and a "normal" relationship is that you can't call them and tell them to come over for pizza.

As far as parents go, bring it up casually. Mention her as a friend at first, continue mentioning her as a friend for a few months, have her do the same thing for you to her parents. Bring up that you're good friends and have known each other for a little while. Then slowly call her your best friend and so on, then eventually let them know that you really like her. It's a slow and possibly long process, but you will feel much better knowing that your parents support you and accept your relationship.

[Plasma]

Forget what I said earlier. I wouldn't recommend an LDR at all. It's just a big pain in the ass and a heartbreak in the end

[HazwoldTheElder]

I'm in an LDR right now with my current boyfriend, he lives in Michigan and I live in the UK, it's wonderful. We send each other cute and soppy Skype messages and talk about the future and what it might hold for us. Sometimes we're flirty and sexual just for fun but not that often. I'd recommend just chatting and flirting, me and Zach (my bf) are gamers so we play stuff together, hey if you and your gf share any interests you can do together do so, it's a real treat

[Woryh]

I havent been on here in a while. Our relationship is going a long fine. She is currently at a camping trip with her girlfriends drinking Vokda. This is not ok. I am sad. I really hope she is ok. I miss her so much. I like LDR's. It has been said that True love can only be found by long distance relationships.

I love her i just dont approve of her actions to drink. She claims shes not drunk but i doubt it. My mom drinks and gets drunk all the time and then denies shes is drunk.
I dont see why people do drugs and get drunk. You spend money for beer. You drink it. You wake up sick and puking. Sounds like a good way to spend money. I Spend my money on Amour for heavy combat in the Sca. I pretty much just keep people who do drugs and drink out of my life. I dont want it. I see it happen to much at school.

If i even said anything about her being my friend my mom and dad would kill me. I am barely online as it is. Her mom found out she was talking to me and we lost contact for a week. I can truely say guys cry. I cried. I thought i was never going to talk to her again. She says i am cute. I dont think i am. Kids at my school made it pretty obvious i am not.

I Stay up most nights for her since we have an eight hour difference. She does the same for me sometimes.

I am a true nerd. Video games. Computers. Internet. Pokemon. MTG, Warcraft, Lotr, books, History, Larp, ect ect. She is the first girl who has not put me down for those things like most have.

She was the one who asked me out and was the first one to say I love you. Those where great days in my life. Especially after not hearing that before.

We have not sent any diry pictures to each other. Well i sent her a picture of my boobies as a joke. hehe. I think that we dont because if we did it could seem rushed. Her face is enough for me.

[Jean Poutine]

She's just drinking, mate. Calm down. You can dial up the hysteria when she starts smoking meth.

You're going to have to come to terms with the fact people explore life in different ways. Especially in Europe, the first drinking binge is an important landmark in a young person's life, less so in the US I believe, and here in Quebec it's the first joint (drinking isn't h4rdk0r enough).

You're also going to have to learn that people really can't be changed. If she wants to drink (hint : she's Irish), accept that or GTFO. If it's that huge an issue for you, it's not worth bottling all your resentment only to have it all explode somewhere down the line.

I was in an LDR for a long time, it's fun while it lasts but when it stops lasting it tends not to be. It's a lot of effort and when it fails I think it's 3x more devastating than a regular breakup because there's that house of cards you built with these efforts that simply crumbles away, and prolly a few delusions of grandeur too. If you can't see her IRL in the foreseeable future it's really not worth it. It's easy to write stuff in front of a screen, you have composure and time to think (and manipulate), while the IRL person might be much less impressive than you thought, either due to the inherent distance in communicating via computer or deceit. My experience with it has made me a lot less socially naïve and much less tolerant of bullshit. I do not bear and grin anymore and I've learned to put my foot down quickly. I've made so many sacrifices and effort for this to work, and having have it explode in my face in the end, after all of this, was an insult of such magnitude that I realized being a lovey-dovey "romantic" aka doormat isn't worth. It's made me a better person overall, but I paid the price for this.

Also noticed that LDRs tend to foster some emotions of the jealous or overprotective kind (probably due to distance begetting distrust), and it looks like you're starting the ride. You're gonna have to cut these out. Also stop missing her so much, change your mind, go do shit with friends and whatnot.

If I ever get rich (won't be long now) I'm going to start a fund for lovelorn LDRers. I'll have them write me essays about how amazing their disconnected other half is, how far away that person is, etc. Winners, aka those with the most sob-inducing sob stories, get to travel to see them for a week or two on my dime. I'll even bankroll a decadent date or two. The catch is that I'm videotaping it all, good or bad, and I hope I get some choice facial expressions sometimes when they finally meet, and I don't mean of the "she's exactly what I was looking for!" kind. More like the "two years of lies" kind.

[SillyShyGuy]

Long distance relationships are difficult to maintain. I have struggled with one before. If you do not spend time together in person, there is little chance it will last because you each are just words on a screen far away.