Let's talk about It

[HollowSoul]

Soooo I'm a cutter. Have been for the past 3 yrs. I can't remember a time when I haven't self harmed. It started out with just digging my nails into my arm, then evolved into popping myself with a rubber band, next I burned myself with the flat iron, then finally I cut. It's rare for me to meet other cutters (I've met 3 ever since I started). It felt pretty good to talk about it with someone who understands. I mean my friends are great but it's different ya know? So I shall start. I cut because I feel abandoned by both my parents (even though my mom raised me I always came last), my mother's boyfriend was physically abusive to me, I was molest at age 7 by a classmate, I've been bullied pretty badly (K-7), my father has never truly been in my life and the few times he was he broke my heart and I never feel adequate. These are in no way excuses. This is just my story, the pain of all these events built upon each other and I just did what I always do. Blame myself. Anywho, does anyone else want to talk about it but has no one who really understands?

[Karkat]

I'm actually surrounded by a lot of "broken souls"- survivors of suicide attempts, those with eating disorders or mental illness, self-harmers, self-haters, rape victims, etc.

I mean, for me, I don't know what there is to talk about, but I self-harm. I actually had a major relapse a few months ago.

[xoraphox]

My life has been a life of bullying... My brothers were always beating when they wanted something.. All the girls I met were cool with me but always friendzoned me after... Everybody tried to use me and I never was their friend.. I'm a socio-dependant guy so I need to talk and to have interaction with humans but everybody keeps rejecting me.. I can never keep a friendship longer than a month.. I started cutting because I was done. I lost all my friends the same day and it was just too much. They all insulted me so as always, I blamed myself. So I cut, and I cut for like 3 weeks... Then I tried to stop and it's been 1 week that I haven't cut.

[HollowSoul]

My life has been a life of bullying... My brothers were always beating when they wanted something.. All the girls I met were cool with me but always friendzoned me after... Everybody tried to use me and I never was their friend.. I'm a socio-dependant guy so I need to talk and to have interaction with humans but everybody keeps rejecting me.. I can never keep a friendship longer than a month.. I started cutting because I was done. I lost all my friends the same day and it was just too much. They all insulted me so as always, I blamed myself. So I cut, and I cut for like 3 weeks... Then I tried to stop and it's been 1 week that I haven't cut.

That sucks :/ You'll find great friends one day. I understand the bullying but it's good you haven't cut in a week :) If you ever want to talk you message me.

I'm actually surrounded by a lot of "broken souls"- survivors of suicide attempts, those with eating disorders or mental illness, self-harmers, self-haters, rape victims, etc.

I mean, for me, I don't know what there is to talk about, but I self-harm. I actually had a major relapse a few months ago.

It's kinda just here incase people want to talk about it you know? I know I felt freakish and crazy because I didn't know anyone else who did it but then I did and talked to her about it and it was a relief.

I'm sorry about your relapse :( I had one earlier in the year after like 6 or more months of no cutting.

[Miserabilia]

Let's talk about it...
I've self harmed for a long time, and it started innocent.
But sometimes I really get into actual cutting again,
like recently, and I cut almost every day.
I don't even have serious prpblems and I'm fucking ashamed to do it in the first place as I've nothing to be sad about.
Nobody suspects a thing too.
I only know one other cutter, I mean I don't know her really well but I know she cuts because I've seen.
The stupid thing is nobody would ever think I'd cut...
I don't "seem" depressed at all,
I just seem happy normal as long as I'm around people I know fairly well and only have to talk to small groups.
I feel like a crazy person for doing these things but yes I cut and I self harm in different ways.
I absolutely hate it and I hate the way I feel 99% of the time I can hear my own thoughts.
I feel terrible for the things you've had to go through and you have all my sympahty, coming from someone like me with almost no actual problems in life.

[HollowSoul]

Let's talk about it...
I've self harmed for a long time, and it started innocent.
But sometimes I really get into actual cutting again,
like recently, and I cut almost every day.
I don't even have serious prpblems and I'm fucking ashamed to do it in the first place as I've nothing to be sad about.
Nobody suspects a thing too.
I only know one other cutter, I mean I don't know her really well but I know she cuts because I've seen.
The stupid thing is nobody would ever think I'd cut...
I don't "seem" depressed at all,
I just seem happy normal as long as I'm around people I know fairly well and only have to talk to small groups.
I feel like a crazy person for doing these things but yes I cut and I self harm in different ways.
I absolutely hate it and I hate the way I feel 99% of the time I can hear my own thoughts.
I feel terrible for the things you've had to go through and you have all my sympahty, coming from someone like me with almost no actual problems in life.

Hey, just because you haven't gone through anything major doesn't mean something isn't wrong. Have you tried talking to a professional?

[Miserabilia]

Hey, just because you haven't gone through anything major doesn't mean something isn't wrong. Have you tried talking to a professional?

No I've been adviced online about it but I'm too terrified and my real life world will absolutely shatter if anyone finds out.

[Karkat]

It's kinda just here incase people want to talk about it you know? I know I felt freakish and crazy because I didn't know anyone else who did it but then I did and talked to her about it and it was a relief.

I'm sorry about your relapse :( I had one earlier in the year after like 6 or more months of no cutting.

Yeah, it's a good idea :)

Thanks. :) I know you were referring to my self-harm relapse, but I actually had relapsed last night after posting my initial response as well, with alcohol. I was sober for almost two years, and now I'm feeling kind of worthless... I'm sorry about yours as well.

[thatgothgirluknow]

hey just because u dnt think anything bad has happened doesnt mean u dnt have the right to be upset maybe its depression or something no one ask to be upset and there isnt always a reason but dnt beat yourself up

[HollowSoul]

No I've been adviced online about it but I'm too terrified and my real life world will absolutely shatter if anyone finds out.

It might not actually be too bad. I've seen a therapist before, it helped some and my mom just found out about my cutting a couple weeks ago. I mean she blew up on me but it wasn't life shattering.

Yeah, it's a good idea :)

Thanks. :) I know you were referring to my self-harm relapse, but I actually had relapsed last night after posting my initial response as well, with alcohol. I was sober for almost two years, and now I'm feeling kind of worthless... I'm sorry about yours as well.

No problem :) And you are definitely NOT worthless. The first adult I told about the cutting told me this after I relapsed: "You are going to slip up, the important thing is that you keep making an effort to stop." Just keep going and take it a second at a time if you have to. Ok?

[Karkat]

No problem :) And you are definitely NOT worthless. The first adult I told about the cutting told me this after I relapsed: "You are going to slip up, the important thing is that you keep making an effort to stop." Just keep going and take it a second at a time if you have to. Ok?

Alright. Thanks. :)

[thatgothgirluknow]

truthfully i know a ton of cutters in fact i went to a camp and had 10 people on my team 8 of them where cutters including the team leader who admitted it when i got upset about my freind on the other team cutting in ohio its pretty comin if you pay attention i mean cause not very many people will tell u they do it unless u tell them

[HollowSoul]

Alright. Thanks. :)

You are definitely welcome :3

truthfully i know a ton of cutters in fact i went to a camp and had 10 people on my team 8 of them where cutters including the team leader who admitted it when i got upset about my freind on the other team cutting in ohio its pretty comin if you pay attention i mean cause not very many people will tell u they do it unless u tell them

I mean yeah that makes sense, it's not like we broadcast it.

[dittsboylogan]

Well I did for about 8 months then I started meditating and it eased my mind.

[HollowSoul]

Well I did for about 8 months then I started meditating and it eased my mind.
My therapist told me to meditate. I guess I should try it then, I really don't think it will work for me though. I'm too distracted.