i'm worried and I don't enjoy anything anymore

[ksdnfkfr]

i'm worried because of my autism im going to post stuff that's going to get me in trouble. i just don't see things the way others do a lot of times and don't always know when i post something wrong. they asked me to be a mod in another forum and i had to say no because my thinking is so screwd up. i think maybe i should just quit forums now instead of ending up crashing and burning. and also i just don't enjoy postung or anything else anymore. i try to but i just don't really. i wish i could just go to sleep for a year i feel like shit all the time now. i hate myself so fucking much

[Stryker125]

Hi. I'm not familiar with the autism spectrum and what it's like, so I'm sorry I can't completely relate to that part. I can however, relate to the whole self-loathing thing you seem to have going on. I don't really know what to tell you, other than the usual "hang in there, it's gets better" stuff. I know you might not wanna hear that right now, but who knows, maybe tomorrow you'll feel better. If you want, you can email me or PM me on here or any of my contact info on my page and I'll be here for you whenever you need someone to talk to. I'm not a therapist or anything, but I will listen and I will care.

[ksdnfkfr]

not expecting anyone here to undertand it this isnt an autism forum afterall. i'm always so stressed posting these places and saying wrng stuff and i'm in trouble and stpid thinking i could fit in with non autistic places in school or online or anywhere. i'm just going to end up getting kicked out of everywhere except where i belong with autistcs.

[Miserabilia]

I know the feeling of not enjoying anything too well...
But you shouldn't worry about posting the wrong things,
or anything like you just said.
I don't think your thinking is screwed up at all,
and you'd probably make a good mod if you didn't worry about it too much.
Trust me,
I'd have no idea you were autistic unless you said so

[ksdnfkfr]

ppl not recognising i'm autisic is actually kind of the problem i've already gotten myself in trouble in places lately. prob because i'm not enjoying things i'm getting sloppy in other words being my self instead of extra extra careful and it so stressing to have to be like that. i just wish i could do one thing that's not special needs but im just going to keep blowing it. i suck more then i let it show like i'm just putting on an act of not being a toatal screw up in the non autistic world wher i don't belong

[Microcosm]

I don't have any personal experience with autism..

But I do hope you get to feeling better. I wish you the best of luck,

[Miserabilia]

Dude you are just bathing in self hate right now, and trust me I know the feeling );
But don't take anything even you think right now serious;
if you hate on yourself and your own actions like this you'll only get lost deeper
untill you'll never remember what it's like to not be aware of yourself.
All I can say is that I don't care how you act or what you do,
even if you mess everything up post wrong things act the wrong way;
because there's no such thing.
There are no wrong posts, no wrong words and no wrong actions unless you have the wrong intentions.
There's no problem in being autistic and not seeming autistic, even when you are not being yourself or consciously trying, because the fact that you are posting this just shows that you are telling the truth and being yourself and still being perfectly understandable; you're only wrong when you think you are.

[ksdnfkfr]

Dude you are just bathing in self hate right now, and trust me I know the feeling );
But don't take anything even you think right now serious;
if you hate on yourself and your own actions like this you'll only get lost deeper
untill you'll never remember what it's like to not be aware of yourself.
All I can say is that I don't care how you act or what you do,
even if you mess everything up post wrong things act the wrong way;
because there's no such thing.
There are no wrong posts, no wrong words and no wrong actions unless you have the wrong intentions.
There's no problem in being autistic and not seeming autistic, even when you are not being yourself or consciously trying, because the fact that you are posting this just shows that you are telling the truth and being yourself and still being perfectly understandable; you're only wrong when you think you are.

hey, thanks for hanging in there and talking things out with me. my mind was a mess but am thinking a lot more clearly. you're a good friend.

[Miserabilia]

hey, thanks for hanging in there and talking things out with me. my mind was a mess but am thinking a lot more clearly. you're a good friend.

daw no problem anytime :)

[CrazyPerson101]

i'm worried because of my autism im going to post stuff that's going to get me in trouble. i just don't see things the way others do a lot of times and don't always know when i post something wrong. they asked me to be a mod in another forum and i had to say no because my thinking is so screwd up. i think maybe i should just quit forums now instead of ending up crashing and burning. and also i just don't enjoy postung or anything else anymore. i try to but i just don't really. i wish i could just go to sleep for a year i feel like shit all the time now. i hate myself so fucking much


Ezra , You shouldn't feel worried about your autism getting you into trouble. You area dedicated member to VT, A good advice giver to those who need and I bet a good friend. You can't help thinking differently but you are NO different from anyone else here. If they have a problem with it , they can discuss it with a mod/admin/whatever. You shouldn't feel as if you can't help or express your opinion , Keep posting :) Good luck :)

[ksdnfkfr]

I think this was basically an online meltdown of sorts.

[Gamma Male]

Ezra, I seriously doubt anyone here hates you or gets offended by what you say. You're one of the few members who everyone on VT likes! You're just being really hard on yourself. I don't have any experience with autism, but I do have experience with not being normal, feeling different all the time, and constantly worrying I'll say something that'll make someone think I'm a freak. And those fears are almost always unjustified and irrational. Especially for someone as nice as you. I mean hell, I actually get angry and tell people off and go on hate filled rants sometimes but I've never seen you do anything impolite or mean spirited.

[CosmicNoodle]

i'm worried because of my autism im going to post stuff that's going to get me in trouble. i just don't see things the way others do a lot of times and don't always know when i post something wrong. they asked me to be a mod in another forum and i had to say no because my thinking is so screwd up. i think maybe i should just quit forums now instead of ending up crashing and burning. and also i just don't enjoy postung or anything else anymore. i try to but i just don't really. i wish i could just go to sleep for a year i feel like shit all the time now. i hate myself so fucking much

Hey buddy. You don't have to worry about fucking up in the forums. We all understand :)
If you really want to go, of course your free to, but we would really miss you. Your a big part of VT. And a great poster.
You don't have to hate yourself, don't forget, everyone here likes you buddy.

[thatgothgirluknow]

I think this was basically an online meltdown of sorts.
dnt worry i feel the same way sometimes i worry about messing up the forms so much but ur awesome and u always give great advice i know sometimes things are hard but that doesnt mean your not good enough some things are just harder for some people than they are for others i don't have autism but trust me when i say i know how u feel i have depression, add , disleciya , ptsd and a shit load of other stuff that makes things that are easy for others almost impossible for me but trust me theres stuff that u can do that others cant on hear u sound just like anyone else i cant tell u have autism at all and u seem really smart just dont give up ok?

[ksdnfkfr]

Thanks guys. Let me explain what happened. I was having a build up to a massive GAD panic attack. During that time I basically attacked a couple of people on 2 forums and got an infraction for each and also got detention at school and also got in a really bad fight with my folks.....all of witch is out of the ordinary for me. Then when I finally had my huge freakout attack I was given a pretty heavy duty tranquilizer, and I was was totally looped under the influence of when I started this thread. But now I'm operating okay again.

[thatgothgirluknow]

cool glad to hear ur ok