Nokia
May 29th, 2014, 02:18 AM
My best friend and I have been best friends before we could walk properly. Our parents decided we would be paired together when we were still practically in the womb.
We’ve been best friends rather willingly however without any massive break ups in all our time together, at least that I remember. That’s not to say we haven’t fought, oh did we FIGHT. As kids we’d fight over just about everything and never had a sleep over without incident but all those fights lasted a few hours tops and our parents just learned to monitor when a fight would start and call an end to our play time. But this fighting later lead to a strange connection people sometimes point out, we could bounce jokes off on another casually and be shockingly blunt with one another, there has never been any reason to pretend anything around each other, until now I guess.
As kids I was always…well better than her. It’s cruel but I was, in kid’s terms anyway. I was physically stronger and more assertive than –let’s call her Sally- and if I wasn’t picking on Sally and someone else did it was usually my job to beat their ass. Before long it became fairly routine, in primary school she was quiet and lacked friends while I had a greater number of play mates with her always as my bestie. God that word makes me want to gag, anyway. Sally would often complain no one liked her and that she only had me and sometimes I neglected her, sometimes she got jealous of other kids that became close to me, it caused a bit of a stir once actually. I thought it was all nonsense but I guess I see it a bit more now.
You see Sally was not only shy but also had a bit of a problem with her teeth, they were a little bit…ah…well bad and caused her a bit of trouble, though she was gorgeous besides that. While her teeth were awful I never minded because I was always thinking ‘that’s just how Sally looks, she looks fine that way’ and when she told me that they were getting fixed I was a bit sad, I liked her that way.
So to sum it up, as kids I was boss and she was the weaker of us…but kids grow up and the power shifts a bit.
As we got older it became painfully obvious that Sally was insanely clever and much smarter than I’d ever be. I didn’t mind because I was still stronger and able to balance the two of us with my own traits as she gained some more of her own. As more time passed Sally never seemed to gain weight and her teeth no longer showed any problems and before I knew it not only was she smart but thin and bloody good looking.
Still fine. That’s still fine, she’s still Sally.
Before that she’d only been funny and open around me but her comedy came out and very quickly she was the funniest person to be around if just a bit offensive. Sally wasn’t shy at all anymore, in fact now I was the shy one. I spoke less and less while she got louder and people flocked to her. Within the space of three years my friends dwindled down due to some moving away, some dropping out of school and others I just didn’t speak with anymore. I have effectively only four friends Sally still one of them with a small group that hung around us all. Our group is fairly large but seeing as we’re all oddballs we never got into the whole party zone and most of the time it’s just shouting and throwing things at one another for fun.
Again this was all fine, Sally and I didn’t see each other as much anymore but we still stayed close at school as I introduced her to my two guy friends that then became close friends with her and made our group of 4.
And then she stopped calling me her best friend.
One of the boys in our group became her best friend and as even more time has passed she seems to only speak with me when none of her other friends are around. To add to this distance we’ve been having problems. I’m not going to lie, I’m jealous. She’s kinda a knock out, no model but given all her perks it’s hard not to see how perfect she is but…she complains. A lot.
She asks about being fat to me who has the normal body of us two while she is as thin as a rake, the girl can’t even force herself to look well nourished. She had a tendency to throw dramatic fits when she becomes too stressed and often she puts me down for not being as smart as her in a very sly way. Sally exclaims that she has standards and deserves higher school marks while getting vastly higher marks than me and if I tell her its okay she reminds me she has standards.
Lately we’ve been fighting more and more and I realised that I miss it being the other way around. Even when I had other friends I never acted this way towards her and instead took great joy in being her protector and best friend but now she has surpassed me so much I’m suddenly not useful to her anymore and she’s leaving me behind.
So I can only keep thinking over and over again that she used me back then when we were kids. I was the only one that would take her so she made the best of a bad situation and now the situation has changed there’s no need for me.
When she was afraid that her other friends were dwindling she’d suddenly be my friend but ignore me once they came back and I got the message. I was back up so she never had to be lonely…
I can’t hack that but I’ve been backed into a corner. It’s accept this and say nothing or be even more alone than I was before.
Most of all I miss being needed by her, I often acted like it was annoying babysitting her and protecting her from playground bullies but it made me really happy and now suddenly no one needs me at all. It’s a bit disheartening.
Things are getting a bit too tense for my liking, there are other things she does that frustrate and hurt me but this is already long so I'll leave it at that.
Am I being unfair? I mean, am I seeing this selfishly? I'm not so sure.
(Sorry I didn’t edit this so if there’s anything unreadable in there….sorry ‘bout that.)
We’ve been best friends rather willingly however without any massive break ups in all our time together, at least that I remember. That’s not to say we haven’t fought, oh did we FIGHT. As kids we’d fight over just about everything and never had a sleep over without incident but all those fights lasted a few hours tops and our parents just learned to monitor when a fight would start and call an end to our play time. But this fighting later lead to a strange connection people sometimes point out, we could bounce jokes off on another casually and be shockingly blunt with one another, there has never been any reason to pretend anything around each other, until now I guess.
As kids I was always…well better than her. It’s cruel but I was, in kid’s terms anyway. I was physically stronger and more assertive than –let’s call her Sally- and if I wasn’t picking on Sally and someone else did it was usually my job to beat their ass. Before long it became fairly routine, in primary school she was quiet and lacked friends while I had a greater number of play mates with her always as my bestie. God that word makes me want to gag, anyway. Sally would often complain no one liked her and that she only had me and sometimes I neglected her, sometimes she got jealous of other kids that became close to me, it caused a bit of a stir once actually. I thought it was all nonsense but I guess I see it a bit more now.
You see Sally was not only shy but also had a bit of a problem with her teeth, they were a little bit…ah…well bad and caused her a bit of trouble, though she was gorgeous besides that. While her teeth were awful I never minded because I was always thinking ‘that’s just how Sally looks, she looks fine that way’ and when she told me that they were getting fixed I was a bit sad, I liked her that way.
So to sum it up, as kids I was boss and she was the weaker of us…but kids grow up and the power shifts a bit.
As we got older it became painfully obvious that Sally was insanely clever and much smarter than I’d ever be. I didn’t mind because I was still stronger and able to balance the two of us with my own traits as she gained some more of her own. As more time passed Sally never seemed to gain weight and her teeth no longer showed any problems and before I knew it not only was she smart but thin and bloody good looking.
Still fine. That’s still fine, she’s still Sally.
Before that she’d only been funny and open around me but her comedy came out and very quickly she was the funniest person to be around if just a bit offensive. Sally wasn’t shy at all anymore, in fact now I was the shy one. I spoke less and less while she got louder and people flocked to her. Within the space of three years my friends dwindled down due to some moving away, some dropping out of school and others I just didn’t speak with anymore. I have effectively only four friends Sally still one of them with a small group that hung around us all. Our group is fairly large but seeing as we’re all oddballs we never got into the whole party zone and most of the time it’s just shouting and throwing things at one another for fun.
Again this was all fine, Sally and I didn’t see each other as much anymore but we still stayed close at school as I introduced her to my two guy friends that then became close friends with her and made our group of 4.
And then she stopped calling me her best friend.
One of the boys in our group became her best friend and as even more time has passed she seems to only speak with me when none of her other friends are around. To add to this distance we’ve been having problems. I’m not going to lie, I’m jealous. She’s kinda a knock out, no model but given all her perks it’s hard not to see how perfect she is but…she complains. A lot.
She asks about being fat to me who has the normal body of us two while she is as thin as a rake, the girl can’t even force herself to look well nourished. She had a tendency to throw dramatic fits when she becomes too stressed and often she puts me down for not being as smart as her in a very sly way. Sally exclaims that she has standards and deserves higher school marks while getting vastly higher marks than me and if I tell her its okay she reminds me she has standards.
Lately we’ve been fighting more and more and I realised that I miss it being the other way around. Even when I had other friends I never acted this way towards her and instead took great joy in being her protector and best friend but now she has surpassed me so much I’m suddenly not useful to her anymore and she’s leaving me behind.
So I can only keep thinking over and over again that she used me back then when we were kids. I was the only one that would take her so she made the best of a bad situation and now the situation has changed there’s no need for me.
When she was afraid that her other friends were dwindling she’d suddenly be my friend but ignore me once they came back and I got the message. I was back up so she never had to be lonely…
I can’t hack that but I’ve been backed into a corner. It’s accept this and say nothing or be even more alone than I was before.
Most of all I miss being needed by her, I often acted like it was annoying babysitting her and protecting her from playground bullies but it made me really happy and now suddenly no one needs me at all. It’s a bit disheartening.
Things are getting a bit too tense for my liking, there are other things she does that frustrate and hurt me but this is already long so I'll leave it at that.
Am I being unfair? I mean, am I seeing this selfishly? I'm not so sure.
(Sorry I didn’t edit this so if there’s anything unreadable in there….sorry ‘bout that.)