Sex, Love, Romance

[Karkat]

First I would like to say that I'm telling a story before I ask my question, and if you are going to answer the question, PLEASE READ IT FIRST!

I feel like there needs to be context. XD I mean, I am asking for a consensus, but I'm also putting in my two cents.

Anyways, as far as sexual attraction goes, I'm practically asexual. I experience veeeeery limited sexual attraction. This is not to say that sex repulses me, or that I don't enjoy sex, I just can't imagine myself having sex with most people. The main exception to that is my boyfriend. I'm even less romantic. There's a very thin line between what I feel I am, and aromantic. Then, the topic of love. I love the shiznit out of EVERYONE. I form really close, intimate bonds easily, I get attached easily, etc. I'm a lovey sort of dude.

The night before last, I had a dream that I was fucking my best friend who is like a brother to me. When I woke up, I was embarrassed as all hell, but having a stupid sense of humor that knows no bounds, I told him about it, we got a few laughs. Which ended up eventually turning into a sad conversation about how he is so desperate to lose his virginity, to have his first kiss, to be able to give all his affection to someone.

And I thought about it. Mostly because my brain kept eating me alive about it for some unknown reason.

I ended up telling him basically that if he wanted to, and the circumstances were right, I'd be willing to be there so he could get it over with, and get into a relationship for the right reason. (This was part of a long conversation about how you get issues resolved THEN look for a relationship so you don't feel like you're ruining the other person's life. I'm trying to be as quick as I can, sorry.)

In the end he rejected me, which was fine- it's not like I have the hots for him or anything. In fact, that's what's so funny!

I think the real reason that I offered was because he's depressed, lonely. He's one of the people I'm absolutely closest to and care about the most. I love him- just not like a 'lover'. Honestly? I couldn't picture us as a couple. But at the same time, I love him as more than a friend?I tried to set him up with my female best friend- also lonely, possibly very compatible... Except they weren't. Totally blew up in my face. I understand that it's not my problem to fix, however, I'm not the kind of person who can sit around and do nothing when the people I love need help...

Not to mention that I've been in his shoes before!

I think in the end, it all boiled down to (the most platonic offer for sex in recorded history?) wanting him to be happy. (I'm so codependent ;_; ) It felt weird as hell to offer, not to mention that, er, how would you even respond to that?

In hindsight, it wasn't well thought-out, but I guess it's the sentiment that matters.


THE QUESTION (s I guess)

1. Are sex, love, and romance separate for you? Or are they all intertwined?

2. Is sex a matter of pleasure, of love, or of romance? All three? (None?)

3. Any other thoughts/questions/postulations/revelations/"wow you're weird"s?

[Horatio Nelson]

Sex, love, and romance all go hand in hand for me. First I feel romance, then I love, then I give my body. Is that too mushy and weird?

I think sex isn't something that should be taken lightly. I mean, it's pretty intimate if you ask me.

(Take a virgin's opinion on sex and love with a grain of salt, lol)

[Karkat]

Sex, love, and romance all go hand in hand for me. First I feel romance, then I love, then I give my body. Is that too mushy and weird?

I think sex isn't something that should be taken lightly. I mean, it's pretty intimate if you ask me.

(Take a virgin's opinion on sex and love with a grain of salt, lol)

That's the thing though- this may have been a rather snap decision, but I wasn't taking it lightly at all. I was completely serious, and I would've never offered it to anyone else. The thought of having sex with him was weird and kind of mortifying at first, but then I kind of realized that I don't see things exactly the same to begin with. You know, on the one hand, it IS very intimate and shit, but on the other hand, sex is also just sex. I would never go sleeping around with people because that would be so horrendously not my speed, but this guy means a lot to me. I DO have a very intimate emotional connection with him, it's not meaningless, just unromantic. I don't think of him in that way.

Mushy is totally fine XD I'm mushy as fuck so :')

Eh, sex isn't some weird, magical thing that you can't know about as a virgin. I mean, you learn a LOT, and your expectations are usually shattered, but it never hurts to form an opinion on something to the best of your ability.

[Blood]

THE QUESTION (s I guess)

1. Are sex, love, and romance separate for you? Or are they all intertwined?

2. Is sex a matter of pleasure, of love, or of romance? All three? (None?)

3. Any other thoughts/questions/postulations/revelations/"wow you're weird"s?

1. They can be separate or intertwined. I can have sex with a person without loving her/him and still enjoy it. If I love and have a romantic relationship with the person I'm having sex with make the sex better? Yes, I would say so. You're connected on a deeper level, and that usually makes for stronger emotions and more passion.

2. Yeah, same for above. It can be pleasure, love, pleasure and love, love and romance, etc. It depends on the individual(s). Sex is a completely natural thing. It's your choice whether you make it about just orgasms or something more.

3. I hope your friend knows that the fact that he hasn't had sex yet doesn't make him any less of a person than someone who has had sex. Society puts too much pressure on virgins and anything to do with sex. Virginity is something people have made up. It doesn't exist.

Also, I can see why you offered yourself to him like that. If you legitimately want to do it, go for it. But don't ever be anybody's sympathy fuck. Ever.

[Karkat]

1. They can be separate or intertwined. I can have sex with a person without loving her/him and still enjoy it. If I love and have a romantic relationship with the person I'm having sex with make the sex better? Yes, I would say so. You're connected on a deeper level, and that usually makes for stronger emotions and more passion.

2. Yeah, same for above. It can be pleasure, love, pleasure and love, love and romance, etc. It depends on the individual(s). Sex is a completely natural thing. It's your choice whether you make it about just orgasms or something more.

3. I hope your friend knows that the fact that he hasn't had sex yet doesn't make him any less of a person than someone who has had sex. Society puts too much pressure on virgins and anything to do with sex. Virginity is something people have made up. It doesn't exist.

Also, I can see why you offered yourself to him like that. If you legitimately want to do it, go for it. But don't ever be anybody's sympathy fuck. Ever.

For him it's less about losing his virginity, more about experiencing sex. Being intimate and affectionate with someone. I can totally see why he rejected me, because totally wrong person to be offering, and that's fine.

And once again, it wasn't so much out of sympathy. I guess you could say, in my mind it's like a weird, more awkward, intimate version of a big hug? The gesture, I mean. I didn't feel like oh I HAD TO, but I wanted to put myself out there. Because once again, I'm a very emotionally intimate person, and for me, sex is so much about trust and affection. It's almost entirely a "love thing" for me. And here I was going, "do I love this person? Yes. Do I trust him? Yes. Well? Mind over matter." And it's not like I suddenly became sexually attracted to him, it was more "Well my view of sex has just been turned on its head."

I have no idea I'd that makes sense or not.

I guess summarized: it wasn't exactly about the sex, more about my love for him and willingness to be there for him, I guess. Sex just happened to be a convenient example, though clearly the wrong one >_>

[Hudor]

First I would like to say that I'm telling a story before I ask my question, and if you are going to answer the question, PLEASE READ IT FIRST!

I feel like there needs to be context. XD I mean, I am asking for a consensus, but I'm also putting in my two cents.

Anyways, as far as sexual attraction goes, I'm practically asexual. I experience veeeeery limited sexual attraction. This is not to say that sex repulses me, or that I don't enjoy sex, I just can't imagine myself having sex with most people. The main exception to that is my boyfriend. I'm even less romantic. There's a very thin line between what I feel I am, and aromantic. Then, the topic of love. I love the shiznit out of EVERYONE. I form really close, intimate bonds easily, I get attached easily, etc. I'm a lovey sort of dude.

The night before last, I had a dream that I was fucking my best friend who is like a brother to me. When I woke up, I was embarrassed as all hell, but having a stupid sense of humor that knows no bounds, I told him about it, we got a few laughs. Which ended up eventually turning into a sad conversation about how he is so desperate to lose his virginity, to have his first kiss, to be able to give all his affection to someone.

And I thought about it. Mostly because my brain kept eating me alive about it for some unknown reason.

I ended up telling him basically that if he wanted to, and the circumstances were right, I'd be willing to be there so he could get it over with, and get into a relationship for the right reason. (This was part of a long conversation about how you get issues resolved THEN look for a relationship so you don't feel like you're ruining the other person's life. I'm trying to be as quick as I can, sorry.)

In the end he rejected me, which was fine- it's not like I have the hots for him or anything. In fact, that's what's so funny!

I think the real reason that I offered was because he's depressed, lonely. He's one of the people I'm absolutely closest to and care about the most. I love him- just not like a 'lover'. Honestly? I couldn't picture us as a couple. But at the same time, I love him as more than a friend?I tried to set him up with my female best friend- also lonely, possibly very compatible... Except they weren't. Totally blew up in my face. I understand that it's not my problem to fix, however, I'm not the kind of person who can sit around and do nothing when the people I love need help...

Not to mention that I've been in his shoes before!

I think in the end, it all boiled down to (the most platonic offer for sex in recorded history?) wanting him to be happy. (I'm so codependent ;_; ) It felt weird as hell to offer, not to mention that, er, how would you even respond to that?

In hindsight, it wasn't well thought-out, but I guess it's the sentiment that matters.


THE QUESTION (s I guess)

1. Are sex, love, and romance separate for you? Or are they all intertwined?

2. Is sex a matter of pleasure, of love, or of romance? All three? (None?)

3. Any other thoughts/questions/postulations/revelations/"wow you're weird"s?

for me romance, love and sex are all separate. If I happen to base a relationship on my sexual desire I could be pretty sure it wouldn't last long. I would rather know the person well, grow an intimate connection with my heart, soul and mind and then with my dick. Sex is obviously a matter of pleasure but its also a matter of closeness. I wouldn't fuck a hearth-side whore for all the pleasure it would give me. Although, i don't rate sex pretty high on my closeness list either. I mean i wouldn't be like- i've had sex with a girl now which means she's become pretty close to me and basically try to form a bond on the basis of sex.
As I see in your case you don't see sex as a big deal either. You're helping and affectionate to your friends and would like to help them in any manner possible. And then he's your bestie. idk maybe if i were in your place and the bestie was a girl i may have offered her the same because i would know i love her and would already be very close to her. Though maybe i wouldn't see myself marrying her i could always see her by my side whenever i'd need her.
I don't think that's weird or you for that matter.

[Karkat]

for me romance, love and sex are all separate. If I happen to base a relationship on my sexual desire I could be pretty sure it wouldn't last long. I would rather know the person well, grow an intimate connection with my heart, soul and mind and then with my dick. Sex is obviously a matter of pleasure but its also a matter of closeness. I wouldn't fuck a hearth-side whore for all the pleasure it would give me. Although, i don't rate sex pretty high on my closeness list either. I mean i wouldn't be like- i've had sex with a girl now which means she's become pretty close to me and basically try to form a bond on the basis of sex.
As I see in your case you don't see sex as a big deal either. You're helping and affectionate to your friends and would like to help them in any manner possible. And then he's your bestie. idk maybe if i were in your place and the bestie was a girl i may have offered her the same because i would know i love her and would already be very close to her. Though maybe i wouldn't see myself marrying her i could always see her by my side whenever i'd need her.
I don't think that's weird or you for that matter.

Yeah, that is pretty close to how I feel as well :)

[Lovelife090994]

First I would like to say that I'm telling a story before I ask my question, and if you are going to answer the question, PLEASE READ IT FIRST!

I feel like there needs to be context. XD I mean, I am asking for a consensus, but I'm also putting in my two cents.

Anyways, as far as sexual attraction goes, I'm practically asexual. I experience veeeeery limited sexual attraction. This is not to say that sex repulses me, or that I don't enjoy sex, I just can't imagine myself having sex with most people. The main exception to that is my boyfriend. I'm even less romantic. There's a very thin line between what I feel I am, and aromantic. Then, the topic of love. I love the shiznit out of EVERYONE. I form really close, intimate bonds easily, I get attached easily, etc. I'm a lovey sort of dude.

The night before last, I had a dream that I was fucking my best friend who is like a brother to me. When I woke up, I was embarrassed as all hell, but having a stupid sense of humor that knows no bounds, I told him about it, we got a few laughs. Which ended up eventually turning into a sad conversation about how he is so desperate to lose his virginity, to have his first kiss, to be able to give all his affection to someone.

And I thought about it. Mostly because my brain kept eating me alive about it for some unknown reason.

I ended up telling him basically that if he wanted to, and the circumstances were right, I'd be willing to be there so he could get it over with, and get into a relationship for the right reason. (This was part of a long conversation about how you get issues resolved THEN look for a relationship so you don't feel like you're ruining the other person's life. I'm trying to be as quick as I can, sorry.)

In the end he rejected me, which was fine- it's not like I have the hots for him or anything. In fact, that's what's so funny!

I think the real reason that I offered was because he's depressed, lonely. He's one of the people I'm absolutely closest to and care about the most. I love him- just not like a 'lover'. Honestly? I couldn't picture us as a couple. But at the same time, I love him as more than a friend?I tried to set him up with my female best friend- also lonely, possibly very compatible... Except they weren't. Totally blew up in my face. I understand that it's not my problem to fix, however, I'm not the kind of person who can sit around and do nothing when the people I love need help...

Not to mention that I've been in his shoes before!

I think in the end, it all boiled down to (the most platonic offer for sex in recorded history?) wanting him to be happy. (I'm so codependent ;_; ) It felt weird as hell to offer, not to mention that, er, how would you even respond to that?

In hindsight, it wasn't well thought-out, but I guess it's the sentiment that matters.


THE QUESTION (s I guess)

1. Are sex, love, and romance separate for you? Or are they all intertwined?

2. Is sex a matter of pleasure, of love, or of romance? All three? (None?)

3. Any other thoughts/questions/postulations/revelations/"wow you're weird"s?


I'm still a virgin and even though I tell people I'm not very sexual I still love looking at sexy people, immages, and masturbation... but of course that has nothing to do with love. For me something about sex scares me. Sex may look hot to me but the minute I put it in real life I feel like, "no I don't know what I want." For me I guess I'd need to feel attraction to someone first. I have never been in love, had sex, dated, or explored who I am gender-wise, sex-wise or anything. So, what do I know? I just know that labels aside I want to have sex in the future but I'd probably need love in the mix or at least a strong friendship with the utmost consent. I have very "religious" ideas of sex. I think it should involve love and be either after marriage or with a person you love and are comfortable with. That said sex, love, and romance would be connected. I get why they are unconnected for others but love is a metaphysical object and puzzle I haven't completed or found all the pieces to yet. I don't even think I know what love is outside of family love.

[Bull]

I think your offer was a beautiful expression of your absolute trust in and emotional attachment for your friend. You say that you love him and I am sure you do or you would not have made the offer. I think that there can be romance and love without sex. I think that is what you and your friend share. I think sex can be just for pleasure, but I also think that sex is the ultimate expression of love. It will be interesting to see if at some future point your friend accepts your beautiful offer. In the mean time enjoy the friendship. I am also a bit jealous in that I do not have such a friend as you!

[Karkat]

I'm still a virgin and even though I tell people I'm not very sexual I still love looking at sexy people, immages, and masturbation... but of course that has nothing to do with love. For me something about sex scares me. Sex may look hot to me but the minute I put it in real life I feel like, "no I don't know what I want." For me I guess I'd need to feel attraction to someone first. I have never been in love, had sex, dated, or explored who I am gender-wise, sex-wise or anything. So, what do I know? I just know that labels aside I want to have sex in the future but I'd probably need love in the mix or at least a strong friendship with the utmost consent. I have very "religious" ideas of sex. I think it should involve love and be either after marriage or with a person you love and are comfortable with. That said sex, love, and romance would be connected. I get why they are unconnected for others but love is a metaphysical object and puzzle I haven't completed or found all the pieces to yet. I don't even think I know what love is outside of family love.

Makes sense. :) It's ok to not know yet.

I think your offer was a beautiful expression of your absolute trust in and emotional attachment for your friend. You say that you love him and I am sure you do or you would not have made the offer. I think that there can be romance and love without sex. I think that is what you and your friend share. I think sex can be just for pleasure, but I also think that sex is the ultimate expression of love. It will be interesting to see if at some future point your friend accepts your beautiful offer. In the mean time enjoy the friendship. I am also a bit jealous in that I do not have such a friend as you!

Hah, thanks. I don't really know how to respond to that! XD

But really, thanks :)

[Emerald Dream]

Teen Sexuality and Gender :arrow: Relationships and Dating

[Lovelife090994]

Makes sense. :) It's ok to not know yet.



Hah, thanks. I don't really know how to respond to that! XD

But really, thanks :)

Mainly I am very odd. Sometimes I am sexual, other times I am not.

[Karkat]

Teen Sexuality and Gender :arrow: Relationships and Dating

Wow, I really shouldn't make new threads late at night. Sorry :whoops:

Mainly I am very odd. Sometimes I am sexual, other times I am not.

Yeah, I kind of feel the same way. Like, it's tempting to call myself asexual, but I know that I'm not, and it would confuse and mislead a lot of people, just like calling myself gay would.

THIS is why I've given up on labels XD

[Lovelife090994]

Wow, I really shouldn't make new threads late at night. Sorry :whoops:



Yeah, I kind of feel the same way. Like, it's tempting to call myself asexual, but I know that I'm not, and it would confuse and mislead a lot of people, just like calling myself gay would.

THIS is why I've given up on labels XD

I guess one label would work though. Labeless, unlabeled, can't be labeled, uncategorized, queer, weird, confused.. That's me... This is why I really hate myself. I don't know what. I want and I doubt anyone would have me.

[Cognizant]

Well, let me say, I've definitely known people who have been in your shoes and your friends shoes before. It's really intriguing to me. Anyways, here's my answers to your questions:

1. Are sex, love, and romance separate for you? Or are they all intertwined? For me, it honestly depends on the person and what I'm looking for. Right now, all I want is to be in a relationship (and with someone I could fall in love with). I could give a lesser damn about the sex as long as we loved each other. In fact, if someone were to come up to me to ask to hook up, I'd probably reject on the spot with no consideration at this point in time.

2. Is sex a matter of pleasure, of love, or of romance? All three? (None?) It depends on how you apply it. Sure, if you're just needing to remove a large amount of sexual frustration (which we all need to do from time to time) that's fine and pleasurable, but I think having sexual encounters when you're dating someone and in love with someone is a whole different story. It becomes a lot more intimate. I mean when you love someone it's like giving them a part of you that others don't always get to see, and sexual interactions definitely fall under that category. Who knows. It could just be me, because I'm a lot more romantic driven than sex driven (which is annoying in a way, because all the guys here are horny dickheads and the girls don't really give me much attention to begin with).

3. Any other thoughts/questions/postulations/revelations/"wow you're weird"s? If your friend ends up changing his mind, please make sure it's okay with your partner before you go do it. My ex did what you would've done without ever really telling me (i found out from the guy that he sexted), and it really hurt something fierce in me. Honestly, and I don't know your boyfriend, but if my ex had told me about it beforehand I would've been slightly more understanding and be more willing to work out a more favorable solution for the issue.

[Karkat]

I guess one label would work though. Labeless, unlabeled, can't be labeled, uncategorized, queer, weird, confused.. That's me... This is why I really hate myself. I don't know what. I want and I doubt anyone would have me.

Well, let me say, I've definitely known people who have been in your shoes and your friends shoes before. It's really intriguing to me. Anyways, here's my answers to your questions:

1. Are sex, love, and romance separate for you? Or are they all intertwined? For me, it honestly depends on the person and what I'm looking for. Right now, all I want is to be in a relationship (and with someone I could fall in love with). I could give a lesser damn about the sex as long as we loved each other. In fact, if someone were to come up to me to ask to hook up, I'd probably reject on the spot with no consideration at this point in time.

2. Is sex a matter of pleasure, of love, or of romance? All three? (None?) It depends on how you apply it. Sure, if you're just needing to remove a large amount of sexual frustration (which we all need to do from time to time) that's fine and pleasurable, but I think having sexual encounters when you're dating someone and in love with someone is a whole different story. It becomes a lot more intimate. I mean when you love someone it's like giving them a part of you that others don't always get to see, and sexual interactions definitely fall under that category. Who knows. It could just be me, because I'm a lot more romantic driven than sex driven (which is annoying in a way, because all the guys here are horny dickheads and the girls don't really give me much attention to begin with).

3. Any other thoughts/questions/postulations/revelations/"wow you're weird"s? If your friend ends up changing his mind, please make sure it's okay with your partner before you go do it. My ex did what you would've done without ever really telling me (i found out from the guy that he sexted), and it really hurt something fierce in me. Honestly, and I don't know your boyfriend, but if my ex had told me about it beforehand I would've been slightly more understanding and be more willing to work out a more favorable solution for the issue.

I can relate a lot to this as well.

Oh, don't worry, I've already told my boyfriend- and he's not thrilled with the idea, however, I DID say that the circumstances had to be right. I reiterated the fact that I was faithful to my boyfriend and would not do anything to hurt him (ergo if he's not ok with it, it doesn't happen) when I wrote it out (my friend is one of the very first people I told when I got unofficially engaged, he already knew how serious my commitment was, but I was making myself crystal clear regardless.).

Seeing the way he feels about me, unless something MAJOR happens, and by some odd chance we do end up together (which I don't see happening for a few reasons) or I end up single and the problem still remains, I highly doubt that it'll happen. On one hand, I feel a little bashful for ever having brought it up, but on the other, I don't. It wasn't forced, I meant it, and the only thing I really regret is the fact that I might've made him uncomfortable...I have a hard time knowing when he needs space/etc. as it is, and I always feel like I've said/done something wrong...

[ImagineRepublicCity]

1. Are sex, love, and romance separate for you? Or are they all intertwined? Well, in a way I guess. I do believe love and romance are quite 'the same,' but romance is a more intimate word really. Love can be love for your pets, family, food, etc whereas romance is more of a partner thing.
I guess sex is more different though. Sex is just an action really. Not saying it's okay or not to have sex with every single person on the planet, but it doesn't have to be love. I assume to some extent, you've gotta love them. I mean, you won't get your worst enemy and have sex with them, but it doesn't have to be your partnet.

2. Is sex a matter of pleasure, of love, or of romance? All three? (None?)
Almost as above really. Sex is mostly pleasure I believe, but it different type. I guess you can say you like eating food, but you would prefer to eat different foods Same with sex. You get pleasure of sex, but whether you would rather someone else over another will change the love/romance and therefore, pleasure.

3. Any other thoughts/questions/postulations/revelations/"wow you're weird"s? Nup, not really. What you did, meh, I think that's cool. I may do that too if someone close said that to me too.

[backjruton]

1. Are sex, love, and romance separate for you? Or are they all intertwined?

2. Is sex a matter of pleasure, of love, or of romance? All three? (None?)

3. Any other thoughts/questions/postulations/revelations/"wow you're weird"s?

Well... in my case :whoops:

1. I love my best friend, but that doesn't mean to say I'd form a relationship with her, no way. I love a lot of other friends too, mostly the guys and I can say that with them... haha I'm not so sure I want to say how I feel about this. And quite often in my case, I have problems forming good friendships with people and trusting them because of the thing I keep mentioning that I actually started by letting that ass hole record me in the first place, so my close friendships with people always seem really special to me. No one knows this, they all think I'm evil, but it's my problems with speaking out that make it seem that way sometimes and I do love these dicks in my family but I will never tell them that.

I didn't feel any proper attraction to anyone I see in person until college, but that's just because the guys in school didn't seem to be too special in that way. 4 of them were, and I was always sat next to one of them in lessons because I found it easier to talk to him than I did with the others.. but boooy, now in college we have a group of 30 and I like at least 6 of them... I'd say we have 15:15 girls:guys or something but I'm not sure. That's more than in school... and it's not much, but it made me think more. I've had more time to think about my sexuality now, and I'm getting these feelings in more awkward situations. I'm not trying to sound perverted but I'm not helping myself much either. It's really awkward for me... I'm definitely a shower, and it doesn't help with the trousers I wear either. But I don't want to label myself; I know all signs point to YES when it comes to asking if I'm gay or not but I don't want to come across that way to a lot of people. My parents know I like guys more, that's all I told them, but it's more of the relationship side of things that I'm not sure of.



2. As I said about relationships. Sex with me, awkwardly, would be more about pleasure and possibly about love than romance. Romance/relationships require trust, something I don't have for a lot of people. The possibility of high paranoia, the accusations of cheating, being expected to be all touchy feely or something :lol: Disgustingly I think I will always like my alone time better, and I'm not going into why... :whoops: (as I'm kinda tired right now and I'm trying my best not to go too far :D)


3. As a lot of people say, most dreams mean nothing. So I'm not going to call you weird... not that I would anyway. The thought of sex repulses me a little too, but most of the time that's only between a man and a woman... There's something funny here, and kinda off topic, but I hate body hair and that would make things even worse for me which is why I often think of having a bath in immac (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Veet). I would do it if I could find a shower cap big enough to cover my massive head and I could bottle up the courage to ask my parents for some knowing that they would actually get it.

I'm sure I once dreamed I was having sex with this guy in college, yadda yadda, and I didn't tell him about it ... but that's because I already told him I think he's hot and now he thinks I want to bang him, awkwardly. You're not bad for telling someone how you feel, even if the thoughts might be meaningless, and it sounds like quite a good thing to be offering someone sex so they could stop complaining. Someone should try offering that to my friend, but honestly I won't because I always have suspicions that if we do have sex I will catch something from her and that's because I judge people too quickly sometimes and the fact she's said one time she woke up with the dog under her covers or about an awkward encounter she had sometimes with a tree, I have my reasons to be feeling this way. I often feel the same way, like I love someone as more than a friend but that doesn't mean I want a relationship with them. I think they're hot, and I form close friendships with them, but that's as far as I'll ever go.

There's not much more I can say, but I do know I feel the same way and although I hate to put these words together :lol: you're not alone.

[Karkat]

1. Are sex, love, and romance separate for you? Or are they all intertwined? Well, in a way I guess. I do believe love and romance are quite 'the same,' but romance is a more intimate word really. Love can be love for your pets, family, food, etc whereas romance is more of a partner thing.
I guess sex is more different though. Sex is just an action really. Not saying it's okay or not to have sex with every single person on the planet, but it doesn't have to be love. I assume to some extent, you've gotta love them. I mean, you won't get your worst enemy and have sex with them, but it doesn't have to be your partnet.

2. Is sex a matter of pleasure, of love, or of romance? All three? (None?)
Almost as above really. Sex is mostly pleasure I believe, but it different type. I guess you can say you like eating food, but you would prefer to eat different foods Same with sex. You get pleasure of sex, but whether you would rather someone else over another will change the love/romance and therefore, pleasure.

3. Any other thoughts/questions/postulations/revelations/"wow you're weird"s? Nup, not really. What you did, meh, I think that's cool. I may do that too if someone close said that to me too.

You know, I love what you said in the last paragraph for question one. You know, I'd never thought about that before!

Well... in my case :whoops:

1. I love my best friend, but that doesn't mean to say I'd form a relationship with her, no way. I love a lot of other friends too, mostly the guys and I can say that with them... haha I'm not so sure I want to say how I feel about this. And quite often in my case, I have problems forming good friendships with people and trusting them because of the thing I keep mentioning that I actually started by letting that ass hole record me in the first place, so my close friendships with people always seem really special to me. No one knows this, they all think I'm evil, but it's my problems with speaking out that make it seem that way sometimes and I do love these dicks in my family but I will never tell them that.

I didn't feel any proper attraction to anyone I see in person until college, but that's just because the guys in school didn't seem to be too special in that way. 4 of them were, and I was always sat next to one of them in lessons because I found it easier to talk to him than I did with the others.. but boooy, now in college we have a group of 30 and I like at least 6 of them... I'd say we have 15:15 girls:guys or something but I'm not sure. That's more than in school... and it's not much, but it made me think more. I've had more time to think about my sexuality now, and I'm getting these feelings in more awkward situations. I'm not trying to sound perverted but I'm not helping myself much either. It's really awkward for me... I'm definitely a shower, and it doesn't help with the trousers I wear either. But I don't want to label myself; I know all signs point to YES when it comes to asking if I'm gay or not but I don't want to come across that way to a lot of people. My parents know I like guys more, that's all I told them, but it's more of the relationship side of things that I'm not sure of.



2. As I said about relationships. Sex with me, awkwardly, would be more about pleasure and possibly about love than romance. Romance/relationships require trust, something I don't have for a lot of people. The possibility of high paranoia, the accusations of cheating, being expected to be all touchy feely or something :lol: Disgustingly I think I will always like my alone time better, and I'm not going into why... :whoops: (as I'm kinda tired right now and I'm trying my best not to go too far :D)


3. As a lot of people say, most dreams mean nothing. So I'm not going to call you weird... not that I would anyway. The thought of sex repulses me a little too, but most of the time that's only between a man and a woman... There's something funny here, and kinda off topic, but I hate body hair and that would make things even worse for me which is why I often think of having a bath in immac (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Veet). I would do it if I could find a shower cap big enough to cover my massive head and I could bottle up the courage to ask my parents for some knowing that they would actually get it.

I'm sure I once dreamed I was having sex with this guy in college, yadda yadda, and I didn't tell him about it ... but that's because I already told him I think he's hot and now he thinks I want to bang him, awkwardly. You're not bad for telling someone how you feel, even if the thoughts might be meaningless, and it sounds like quite a good thing to be offering someone sex so they could stop complaining. Someone should try offering that to my friend, but honestly I won't because I always have suspicions that if we do have sex I will catch something from her and that's because I judge people too quickly sometimes and the fact she's said one time she woke up with the dog under her covers or about an awkward encounter she had sometimes with a tree, I have my reasons to be feeling this way. I often feel the same way, like I love someone as more than a friend but that doesn't mean I want a relationship with them. I think they're hot, and I form close friendships with them, but that's as far as I'll ever go.

There's not much more I can say, but I do know I feel the same way and although I hate to put these words together :lol: you're not alone.

Ah, lengthy as they might be, I love reading your posts. XD

"Offering sex so they would stop complaining" HAHA this wasn't EXACTLY what I meant, but I guess that's one way to look at it. XD

I mean, a lot of it for me was out of empathy and love. I didn't like seeing him hurt like that.

But at the same time, I guess, in a way of speaking, I empathetically, lovingly wanted him to shut up and move on with his life.

But I guess I got my retribution- when he rejected me, he basically went down the desperate list that desperate guys go down. I was not only below "STD-ridden hooker", STD-ridden hooker was the last place on the list. :lol: (It wasn't a "Oh god no, ew, you're unattractive/etc" so much as a "nah bro, I'm not humping my brother/sister"

I think.

I did tease him about hurting my feelers though; partially because WOW that's a self-esteem booster, being told you're below STD-ridden hooker; partially because I will tease him mercilessly for just about anything.)