stupid mistake srry kinda long

[thatgothgirluknow]

so i made i thread earlier http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=208387
so i kinda did something really stupid since then like really really stupid dumbly i thought that maybe if i had sex with him he would stop and so i did it was both are first times and in the middle of it due to being sexualy assalted several times by differnt people in my life i had a hudge panic attack and ended up crying and shaking in a ball on the floor i feel so stupid about it he sat there trying to calm me down for five minutes before i got dressed and went to the bathroom to wash my face even though i still couldnt calm down and i wasa still crying histerically then we walked to his house and i talked to his mom but i just told her that i had a hudge panic attack she hugged me and talked to me till i finally stopped crying and said i was going for a walk witch she said i should take him with me cause she was scared i was going to cut again then he took me for ice cream even though i couldnt eat and so i just got a pop and he apoligized for pushing me into it then stayed away from me in fear getting close to me would trigger another panic attack just the though of what we did makes me sick to my stomic after what happened to me before i hate how it felt and i hate that i let him and just feel stupid for the whole thing i almost puked after we it happened

[gothy]

So you did... Im sorry that you had such a bad day. Im here if ya want to talk. I cant sleep anyways.

Please reply soon though. Have to wake up early tomorrow

so i made i thread earlier http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=208387
so i kinda did something really stupid since then like really really stupid dumbly i thought that maybe if i had sex with him he would stop and so i did it was both are first times and in the middle of it due to being sexualy assalted several times by differnt people in my life i had a hudge panic attack and ended up crying and shaking in a ball on the floor i feel so stupid about it he sat there trying to calm me down for five minutes before i got dressed and went to the bathroom to wash my face even though i still couldnt calm down and i wasa still crying histerically then we walked to his house and i talked to his mom but i just told her that i had a hudge panic attack she hugged me and talked to me till i finally stopped crying and said i was going for a walk witch she said i should take him with me cause she was scared i was going to cut again then he took me for ice cream even though i couldnt eat and so i just got a pop and he apoligized for pushing me into it then stayed away from me in fear getting close to me would trigger another panic attack just the though of what we did makes me sick to my stomic after what happened to me before i hate how it felt and i hate that i let him and just feel stupid for the whole thing i almost puked after we it happened


Are you ok... Seriously. I care about your happiness though i don't know ya. Im just this way..

[RavleIncarnate]

Man, that's one blue day for you. I wanna see where this goes. Remember the help an advice Mods on here, like Tyler and such. They're always there for you.

[Obsidian]

I'm sorry that you had such a negative experience. I don't know if it's of any comfort at all, but a lot of people have completely terrible first times, anxiety or not. I have always regretted mine, as well as feeling extremely humiliated about it. So you shouldn't blame yourself or feel guilty for going through with it. We all make decisions that we end up regretting. It's part of life, unfortunately. But at least you can learn from the experience and know that you need to wait until you truly feel comfortable being intimate with someone. It sounds like your boyfriend was really supportive, and that's a good thing too. If he's the right person to be with he should respect that you need time and will wait until you're completely comfortable.

When you have sex with the right person for the right reasons it will be a much better experience, and it will be like having your first time all over again. So don't let this get you down too much. It might feel like the end of the world right now, but it will become much less significant through time.

[emilyly]

Oh my world I'm so sorry to read this... I even don't know how to comment it. Girl, if you need any help, talk or advise just please feel free to write to me! I think you should give yourself time and forget about dating now. You should focus on yourself, on your emotions. You should take professional help until you are still young. Please write here how do you feel. We're scared.

[thatgothgirluknow]

So you did... Im sorry that you had such a bad day. Im here if ya want to talk. I cant sleep anyways.

Please reply soon though. Have to wake up early tomorrow




Are you ok... Seriously. I care about your happiness though i don't know ya. Im just this way..
thx sry i went to bed pretty early yesterday to calm my anxiety
Man, that's one blue day for you. I wanna see where this goes. Remember the help an advice Mods on here, like Tyler and such. They're always there for you.

Oh my world I'm so sorry to read this... I even don't know how to comment it. Girl, if you need any help, talk or advise just please feel free to write to me! I think you should give yourself time and forget about dating now. You should focus on yourself, on your emotions. You should take professional help until you are still young. Please write here how do you feel. We're scared. thx guys was feeling pretty down yesterday so i went to bed early but im feeling a little better after spending some time with a friend playing games i decided that ill probley never have sex again but at least my bf hasnt touched me and seems pretty supportive of my choice
and my anxiety has calmed down allot i found out i have an appointment t get back on my anxiety meds thursday witch allways helps thx again for ur support

[gothy]

Are u ok ?