Need help to control myself...

[xoraphox]

Humm... hey?

So I'm 15, I go to school, I have some friends (If I can call them friends) and I have major troubles with myself... I have no self esteem and when ever theres something to blame, I always blame my self... Sometimes, I'm with some ''friends'' and they are just talking and I don't feel like I belong with them... Then I just go in a sort of panic mode and I blame myself for everything and I just want to be alone and depress alone... Everytime that I see peoples talking quietly, I think that they are bitching in my back and I accuses myself of being me. I really don't know what to do with myself, I'm almost done with everything... I cut everyday cuz I feel like I deserve it... I really don't know what to do... Theres only 1 person in my life that is there for me but she is in depression too and I don't want to disturb her... I have little hope, and I'm asking you guys if you can help me... Please.

[Horatio Nelson]

Why do you feel this way? When you are with other people, try and join in their conversation. Maybe that will help you feel less left out?

[xoraphox]

Well, I'm just myself... My whole life was me getting used by everybody... They made me think that they were my friends but then, they toss me away when they were done with me... So now I'm just scared of being with peoples and try to be with them... It'll be the same as my whole life... + I get verry annoying and I loose a lot of friends because they don't want to hear me...

[bob97]

The other person that cares about you definitely won't be disturbed by you talking to her. I promise you. And you don't deserve cutting or anything that might happen to you. I'm sorry about the place you are in right now mentally. It can only get better for you, don't worry. Good luck!

[xoraphox]

She told me that she would cut if I do. And I know she will. I'm scared... I don't want her to harm herself because of me

[bob97]

She told me that she would cut if I do. And I know she will. I'm scared... I don't want her to harm herself because of me

She'll cut if you tell her your problems? That's pretty silly. I'm sorry. And you don't have anyone else to talk to? Well besides me haha

[xoraphox]

Well she is verry unstable and it's not telling her the problems that'll make her cut. It's just me cutting that will make her cut. I asked her why but she don't want to tell me... She said that she is not ready to tell me the reason why.... Anyway... Yeahwe could talk and be friends :P