I feel like a liar

[Dalcourt]

I just feel like all optimism and happiness I used to have left me somehow.
Today I spent hours online chatting with a friend who is going through a very tough time...he is always depressed and suicidal... Anyway, I talked, cheered him up, listened to his problems and so on, I guess you all understand what I mean.
He told me that I'm a great friend and that I'm so full of optimism and how I give him strength.

It is nice to hear these words, but the thing is for myself I don't have any hope or happiness left. It seems that everything gets just worse and worse...I feel like I don't have the energy to go on much longer. I tell my friend things get better but for me they don't...I feel like a liar. I tell him to believe in the good things and I don't believe that there are any good things around for me.
Everything seems so hopless, I find myself to increasingly going back to self harming, drinking...and other bad things I usually do. So who am I to try and cheer someone up...amazingly the stuff I told him works...I guess cuz he is a nice and positive person, it would never work on myself...

I always think my life can't get worse but it seems to get shittier everyday.

Okay, end of rant.

[kaydencorey]

Its so much easier to give people advice than it is to believe it yourself, you should feel very proud that you help your friend like this.
If you can do that for him, then there is someone that can do that for you too.
Maybe that could be someone on here.
You are as much as a nice person as you say he is, or you wouldn't even have tried to help him.
I don't have magic words than can change how you feel, but I'm here and thinking about you and willing to help in anyway I can.
Let me know if I can do anything, anytime.

[Horatio Nelson]

Its so much easier to give people advice than it is to believe it yourself, you should feel very proud that you help your friend like this.
If you can do that for him, then there is someone that can do that for you too.
Maybe that could be someone on here.
You are as much as a nice person as you say he is, or you wouldn't even have tried to help him.
I don't have magic words than can change how you feel, but I'm here and thinking about you and willing to help in anyway I can.
Let me know if I can do anything, anytime.

I totally agree. It's hard to do things on your own. When someone is telling you encouraging words, it really does give you a new perspective on a situation.

[JamesSuperBoy]

You did not lie - you told him the truth and what you said worked for him