cssafari
May 20th, 2014, 03:52 PM
Hello, I would personally like to be kept anonymous.
I'm currently 17 years old, and the girl I've liked for the past 4 months is 15 years old. I'm a very shy and nervous person when it comes to talking to girls but last month towards the beginning of April I started talking to her and on the first day I told her I liked her hoping that being friend-zoned wouldn't be a problem.
Continuing for the next 3-4 weeks we would talk for about 8-10 hours a day on average during my spring break and she brought up the idea of hugging and holding hands in the hallways when we got back to school. I liked this idea, however, I thought it would be a little weird to do because we at the time were not dating and if anybody asked it would make me feel very awkward because I wouldn't know how to tell them. I would love to say yes, but knowing we aren't dating made me feel bad. I told her this and i told her that I'm not pressuring her and I want to go at her pace. She accepted and told me she wanted to start dating when we got back to school. So, we started dating for 1 week.
After dating for 1 week, she told me she felt that we kind of "jumped" into this relationship, however, she also wanted to be in a relationship with me. After a week of dealing with this, I told her if she wanted to break up for now, but to still talk until she felt ready to commit to a relationship fully we can do that. I wanted her to know exactly that I'm only breaking up with her for this reason and that reason being to make the whole situation much better because more into the week of us talking she started to get more and more awkward because she started to feel uncertain about the whole relationship thing and it was really weird talking to her because I've learned almost everything there is to know about her and the only thing we've been talking about is cute couple things.
After we broke up she had on and off days. Sometimes she was super excited to see me and was really happy and was really lovey, while other days she would simply respond with "hi" "oh" "ok" "yes" "no" to everything regardless if it was a question or not. I asked her if she felt uncomfortable and what not yet she said she was perfectly fine. I knew there was something wrong, because she never talked to me or responded to me before the breakup like this.
Currently, we don't talk to each other that much in person. She feels very awkward about it because of our current situation so talking has been at a minimal in real life. In texts, we haven't talked in two days after me asking her if she needed some time to think about all of this and whether or not she wants to continue. I want to cave in and talk to her, but at the same time I want her to cave in and talk to me first.
*SOME EXTRA INFO THAT MAY OR MAY NOT HELP*
- I'm her first boyfriend and the only boy she's ever had these kinds of feelings for
- She has anxiety
- She has no clue as to why she feels this way, I've asked her over 100 questions and the closest response I've gotten was "maybe"
- She feels this is all of her fault and apologizes to me all the time for having me go through all of this even when I feel personally I might have messed up at some point.
- This "waiting" period of not talking has happened once before, she ended up caving in after 10 hrs and told me she missed me. This time she hasn't responded yet.
Anyways, I was wondering if anybody had some advice as to what I can do to help her. I want to help her get through this and I want this to really work, however I've been going through some short bursts of depressive states lately feeling this won't work out. It's very confusing and I'm not too sure how she feels because she hasn't "dumped" her feelings on me yet, she's told me a ton how much she cares about me and likes me.
If i were to give my opinion, I feel that she isn't ready yet because she wants a long term relationship (2yrs +) and wants to commit to me. We've talked before and she's told me how she would be satisfied with me forever (I highly doubt that because she's only 15 and is still going through changes). She's also asked me lots of questions about dating a high-schooler while in college, living together, etc. She's my perfect match honestly, we have everything in common (even our body physique lol) and I would honestly be okay having her forever considering I'm not too picky with girls.
Honestly, I want an outsiders perspective on our relationship. I've told some of my friends about it and they've all been telling me how she's confusing and I should leave her even though I would never do that because i have an immense amount of feelings for her. I do have hope everything will work out in the end. I just want some feedback and some suggestions if possible about whether or not I should continue this "no talking" phase, any ideas as to why she feels this way, or anything that could help improve the current situation.
Thanks in advance, this means a lot to me. :D
I'm currently 17 years old, and the girl I've liked for the past 4 months is 15 years old. I'm a very shy and nervous person when it comes to talking to girls but last month towards the beginning of April I started talking to her and on the first day I told her I liked her hoping that being friend-zoned wouldn't be a problem.
Continuing for the next 3-4 weeks we would talk for about 8-10 hours a day on average during my spring break and she brought up the idea of hugging and holding hands in the hallways when we got back to school. I liked this idea, however, I thought it would be a little weird to do because we at the time were not dating and if anybody asked it would make me feel very awkward because I wouldn't know how to tell them. I would love to say yes, but knowing we aren't dating made me feel bad. I told her this and i told her that I'm not pressuring her and I want to go at her pace. She accepted and told me she wanted to start dating when we got back to school. So, we started dating for 1 week.
After dating for 1 week, she told me she felt that we kind of "jumped" into this relationship, however, she also wanted to be in a relationship with me. After a week of dealing with this, I told her if she wanted to break up for now, but to still talk until she felt ready to commit to a relationship fully we can do that. I wanted her to know exactly that I'm only breaking up with her for this reason and that reason being to make the whole situation much better because more into the week of us talking she started to get more and more awkward because she started to feel uncertain about the whole relationship thing and it was really weird talking to her because I've learned almost everything there is to know about her and the only thing we've been talking about is cute couple things.
After we broke up she had on and off days. Sometimes she was super excited to see me and was really happy and was really lovey, while other days she would simply respond with "hi" "oh" "ok" "yes" "no" to everything regardless if it was a question or not. I asked her if she felt uncomfortable and what not yet she said she was perfectly fine. I knew there was something wrong, because she never talked to me or responded to me before the breakup like this.
Currently, we don't talk to each other that much in person. She feels very awkward about it because of our current situation so talking has been at a minimal in real life. In texts, we haven't talked in two days after me asking her if she needed some time to think about all of this and whether or not she wants to continue. I want to cave in and talk to her, but at the same time I want her to cave in and talk to me first.
*SOME EXTRA INFO THAT MAY OR MAY NOT HELP*
- I'm her first boyfriend and the only boy she's ever had these kinds of feelings for
- She has anxiety
- She has no clue as to why she feels this way, I've asked her over 100 questions and the closest response I've gotten was "maybe"
- She feels this is all of her fault and apologizes to me all the time for having me go through all of this even when I feel personally I might have messed up at some point.
- This "waiting" period of not talking has happened once before, she ended up caving in after 10 hrs and told me she missed me. This time she hasn't responded yet.
Anyways, I was wondering if anybody had some advice as to what I can do to help her. I want to help her get through this and I want this to really work, however I've been going through some short bursts of depressive states lately feeling this won't work out. It's very confusing and I'm not too sure how she feels because she hasn't "dumped" her feelings on me yet, she's told me a ton how much she cares about me and likes me.
If i were to give my opinion, I feel that she isn't ready yet because she wants a long term relationship (2yrs +) and wants to commit to me. We've talked before and she's told me how she would be satisfied with me forever (I highly doubt that because she's only 15 and is still going through changes). She's also asked me lots of questions about dating a high-schooler while in college, living together, etc. She's my perfect match honestly, we have everything in common (even our body physique lol) and I would honestly be okay having her forever considering I'm not too picky with girls.
Honestly, I want an outsiders perspective on our relationship. I've told some of my friends about it and they've all been telling me how she's confusing and I should leave her even though I would never do that because i have an immense amount of feelings for her. I do have hope everything will work out in the end. I just want some feedback and some suggestions if possible about whether or not I should continue this "no talking" phase, any ideas as to why she feels this way, or anything that could help improve the current situation.
Thanks in advance, this means a lot to me. :D