Notice

[Atonement]

Please read it alll and please comment on it.
If Only I Could Say/Notice

All the children tease me,
I was sick the other day.
They all think I fake it,
If only I could say.

I was up all last night,
waiting for you to come home.
I wanted to know you are alive,
As you drove home alone.

Did you drink too much?
Will you ramble at me tonight?
I worry about this,
I think that you just might.

I am sick so often,
because I cannot sleep.
I worry about you,
I stay up and weep.

Your entrance never fails,
I hear you come home once more.
I hear your drunken brawls,
It hurts me to the core.

I worry myself sick,
that you are okay.
I wait for you to notice,
I wonder what you'd say.
____________________________

As I write this here and now,
I wait for you to be here.
I wonder how you could do this,
To worry me to tears.

If only I could say one more thing,
Notice what you are have done,
to your youngest son.

~Sorry~

I know, I suck at writing, but I tried. Try not to let the meaning suffer because of my writing skills

[Kaleidoscope Eyes]

Wow, powerful. I'm honestly sort of speechless, here. Nicely done. :)

[Antares]

Wow...that's...compelling. Good job man.

[Whisper]

Its beautiful man
You should be proud

[Atonement]

thanks everyone.

[Patchy]

Well done Addison thats great!

really well done :)

[Hauptmann Kauffman]

Really, you do a great job man, you do not suck at writing at all, keep up the good work:)

[Bobby]

I like this the best of the three you've recently posted.

[Atonement]

I like this the best of the three you've recently posted.

So my other ones suck? :P jk

[theOperaGhost]

None of them suck. They are all awesome and your a friggin amazing writer. You're brilliant.

[Φρανκομβριτ]

very strong words. Maybe this person should say this to the drinker.

[Fire]

Amazing. Your an excellent writer. Was this influenced by something?

[george]

This has to be, indisputably, one of the best, and most likely THE best poems you've ever written Addison. :]
Amazing job.

~Sorry~

I know, I suck at writing, but I tried. Try not to let the meaning suffer because of my writing skills

Stop saying you suck at writing! All your writings have been greatly written and just awesome. ^_^

[Atonement]

Thanks guys, I'd perfer to discuss the writing, not the topic its inspired upon. But thanks forthecomments