What if I'm not a Christian?

[killer_queen]

I come from a very religious household. God is everything. The Bible literally dictates every decision that my parents make. I'm on the leadership team in my church, and I was confirmed and everything, but I don't think that I believe anymore. I don't know what to do. I could just keep "pretending" for another year until I go to college? Or I could maybe talk to someone in the church? But there's no way that I can go through this without my parents being angry with me. Please help.

[Gamma Male]

If I were you I would just keep up the act until you're no longer dependent on your parents. It's only another year before you're off to college anyway.

[killer_queen]

If I were you I would just keep up the act until you're no longer dependent on your parents. It's only another year before you're off to college anyway.
I think I might try that. Or maybe I could just wait a little bit after my present situation improves and then talk to them? Regardless I don't think now is the time to drop the bomb on them

[churris]

I'd wait, unless you have the need to talk to them. I'm an atheist, I was confirmed too but my parents aren't all that religious, however my school was. I struggled a bit with my beliefs the last two years of HS until I realized that I don't really believe in God and that I'm okay with that. My parents don't know, I think they'd be okay but kind of, um, skeptical and maybe confused about it. I haven't told them because I don't feel the need to, the subject has never come out.

Good luck with anything you choose to do, I know it may be hard :)

[CosmicNoodle]

I'm from a family of atheists so religion has never been an issue for me. If it where me, I would simply tell ythema and let the inevitable shit storm hit me, but that's the sort of person I am.
For you you may want to wait, or just not mention it to them until your no longer depoendant. That way they can accept you or deal with it, if your ddepoendant on them and they don't like it they could make things awkward for you. But your parents may be accepting, I don't know them.
I'm afraid this is one of those situations where your going to have to go it alone because your the only one who will be able to guage your parents reactions well.
Goof luck buddy.

[PinkFloyd]

In my experience with religious people, talking about how you don't believe the same thing as them is the same as telling them you're the anti christ. That being said, I wouldn't say anything since you're gonna be moving out soon anyways.

[Hollywood]

I'm in a similar situation to you. I'm an atheist, and I actually have been for many years now, but I live in a religious setting where everyone in my family is religious, as well as everyone in town. The only atheist I know of around here is despised by everyone. I've decided that, as hard as it is to keep a secret that large, I'm just going to wait until I get out and can support myself before I say anything. I will come clean someday, I have to, but at this point in my life I'm just trying to get myself set up for the future, there's really no need to stir up any trouble. Of course, this is just my experience, you may think completely different and that's fine, this is just how I feel about my own situation.

If you ever need someone to talk to, I'm here. I know it's not easy and sometimes it helps to get it off of your chest.

[backjruton]

I myself would just go ahead and tell my parents I wasn't happy if I was in this situation but I know sadly this isn't always the best thing to do and not that i am saying to do it but what kind of problems could come to you for doing this instead of waiting? I don't see why anyone should have to do what their parents tell them to and for that I never have and never will :)

[killer_queen]

I myself would just go ahead and tell my parents I wasn't happy if I was in this situation but I know sadly this isn't always the best thing to do and not that i am saying to do it but what kind of problems could come to you for doing this instead of waiting? I don't see why anyone should have to do what their parents tell them to and for that I never have and never will :)
I mean I think they'd just feel like they're bad parents, and I don't want that to happen.

But the truth has a funny way of coming out eventually.

[Horatio Nelson]

As a Christian, I would say, talk to somebody. Don't just leave because you don't feel a certain way. But of course, my opinion is trash due to my beliefs.

[Camazotz]

I came out to my parents when I was 14. They accepted it, and it made realize how much they loved me. It was uncomfortable at first, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I couldn't live a lie and I couldn't pretend to be something I'm not. I wrote about my experiences here (http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=190063).

It's entirely your choice, and you should do whatever is best for you. But don't feel trapped or alone. If it'll cause a serious rift between you and your parents, then you might now want to mention it, if possible.

[killer_queen]

Thank you all so much for your feedback, you guys have made me feel so much more comfortable with all of this <3

[Andriod09]

Dahlia, as a Christian myself, I would say don't keep up the act. It would just make you another hypocrite in this world, and honestly, it doesn't need another.

I would personally advise that you talk to someone like a pastor, about it, and try to pray, if anything. I hope this helps, and I hope you find your lost faith.

Prayers go out for you,

In regards,
Andy|Andriod09

[Typhlosion]

but I don't think that I believe anymore.

Give yourself a good time then, and thoroughly evaluate this. Until you are sure of your belief, unbelief, or sure of unsureness, I wouldn't mention anything. Every side will try to convince you to their point, which might only confuse something that I believe to be mostly from introspection.

Also, how do your parents react to the Harry Potter books, with all the witchcraft? If they aren't that extreme, in the end, if you do decide yourself as a non-christian and do decide to tell, they'll mot likely accep you. Think however, about word-of-mouth and other people's views...

[Body odah Man]

I come from a very religious household. God is everything. The Bible literally dictates every decision that my parents make. I'm on the leadership team in my church, and I was confirmed and everything, but I don't think that I believe anymore. I don't know what to do. I could just keep "pretending" for another year until I go to college? Or I could maybe talk to someone in the church? But there's no way that I can go through this without my parents being angry with me. Please help.

Based on your other thread I'd say keep up the act. Your parents sound mad enuff at you as it is already so I'd keep up the act. Just, whatever you do-DON'T tell it to someone in the church or they'll try to 'convert' u and 'intervene' and you don't want that. Luck

[Thatcarguy]

i had my communion done and everything then in grade 8 i was smart enough to know that i dont believe in religion and i told my mom i dont want to be confirmed so i never got confirmed and im super happy i didn't

[Body odah Man]

i had my communion done and everything then in grade 8 i was smart enough to know that i dont believe in religion and i told my mom i dont want to be confirmed so i never got confirmed and im super happy i didn't

Not all parents r that relaxed tho.

[Miserabilia]

All i can say is that you have my sympathy...
I'm so glad to live in a place where atheists don't have to closet.
I really don't have any advice for you as I don't have experience with this myself, but my parents do; they just slowly moved away and away rfom religion untill they really admitted to being atheist.

[Body odah Man]

All i can say is that you have my sympathy...
I'm so glad to live in a place where atheists don't have to closet.
I really don't have any advice for you as I don't have experience with this myself, but my parents do; they just slowly moved away and away rfom religion untill they really admitted to being atheist.

Tolerance is an underrated blessing

[Etcetera]

I come from a very religious household. God is everything. The Bible literally dictates every decision that my parents make. I'm on the leadership team in my church, and I was confirmed and everything, but I don't think that I believe anymore. I don't know what to do. I could just keep "pretending" for another year until I go to college? Or I could maybe talk to someone in the church? But there's no way that I can go through this without my parents being angry with me. Please help.

My parents are both Pentecostal Holiness ministers, my dad being a pastor and my mom being a youth pastor. I felt much the same way that you do. For a long time, I considered myself a Christian because I've been raised that way. My home is very religious, and we don't get a choice in whether we go to church or not. I have to be there every time the doors are open. It's basically everything in my house.

About a year ago I felt like you, and decided that I really didn't believe. I told my parents that I am agnostic. My parents freaked out. Don't pretend though, because you shouldn't have to. Tell them. It might (probably will) make them really pissed. But they at least should know. Mine got really mad at me but now have learned to accept it, and if my religious nut minister parents can do that, then believe me, yours can too.

Basically, don't pretend. Don't hide it.

[Thatoldtruck]

I'm a Christian. I've had struggles with my beliefs as well. It all stopped after I talked to our youth pastor and now I don't question it. Don't just give up like some people are saying here. Talk to someone in the church about it. The elders in the church may surprise you. The pastor is one of the best people you can talk to. Please just trust me on this one. Talk to someone at church. If you have a youth class, the youth leader may be a good one also. Just tell somebody in church you trust and seek help from them

[maddogmj77]

I'm an atheist, and I would say to not tell them. Some religious people, especially the EXTREMELY religious people, literally think that anyone that doesn't believe in god is either, evil, anti-Christ, or some other things that you would not want them to think of you. I find it stupid that just because someone doesn't believe in what you believe, they think you're against them. You should try to space yourself from all the religious things, but don't just say you don't believe in god. Just keep it up until you're independent. It's so annoying that parents try and make their kids believe what they want, not letting them think for themselves.

[mrpieface2]

I would just pretend until you go off to college.

[justarandomteen]

I've been sorta dealing with the same crisis. Just wait. I'm guessing it's just puberty and hormones. Anyway, after college you probably will believe again.

[Jack982]

Just tell them the truth, they will be upset. But hopefully they'll come to accept you eventually.

[alphazenofi]

I think that God's important, I love Him, but people shouldn't be obsessed... It is important to follow His laws and advices but don't need to be fanatic... Love Him in a simple way, not the way your parents tell you :)

[Microcosm]

If I were you I would just keep up the act until you're no longer dependent on your parents. It's only another year before you're off to college anyway.

Great answer. Also I do think talking to someone at the Church is a good idea... Maybe they can convince you to renew your faith. Or if you still don't believe it after that, then maybe give Christianity a break for a while. Tell your parents that it just isn't your cup of tea. They should understand after a while.

Hope I helped you.

[Lovelife090994]

As a Christian, I say tell them. If they love you they love you. Not everyone is Christian, don't force yourself to be. Besides anyone with an issues with that will have to answer to God on that one. Jesus loved all and judged no one. Why can't Christians do the same? I am not as religious as my mother. She's a minister, it can be hard but I push through it. I won't let my mother force me to be different than what I choose.

I think that God's important, I love Him, but people shouldn't be obsessed... It is important to follow His laws and advices but don't need to be fanatic... Love Him in a simple way, not the way your parents tell you :)

That is something many religious parents need to hear and learn.

[jjlewis]

tell them how u feel they cant force u to believe something like that

[Stronk Serb]

Thanks to the years of secularism here, my parents didn't freak out. But where you are, it's different. Because they are religious nuts means you don't know what to expect. They could accept you for who you are because they interpreted the Bible that way or they could wave a cross at you while splashing you with holy water yelling "Get out of here, Satan!". It's truly hard to predict what their reaction would be. I suggest you don't anger the hand that feeds you.

[dakota1998]

honestly, Do you have a SOUL? and what will happen to it when u die? Lets say tomarrow

[brooklynchic]

I don't think you should keep up the act. Just tell your parents, they will most likely be upset but they would be happy that you told them rather than feel guilty or miserable

[plebble]

I was Christened as a baby and I'm an Atheist now. You don't have to admit to your family that you're not religious, no one else has the right to decide what you believe but you. If they had a problem with it, that's their problem and not yours. But I know how some Christians can react to that, like super religious ones will think you have a problem and shout at you or whatever.

If it's not too much of an issue right now just pretending you're Christian then just carry on and don't say anything, but just remember that you're in charge, no one else.

I think you should just pretend for one more year

[Babiole]

In my family, no one really cares about religion one way or another. Most of my family is Catholic, but they don't make a big deal about it. One of my cousins married a Jewish man and converted to Judaism. They had a baby girl back in April and they're raising her Jewish. The baby's Catholic grandparents and great-grandparents don't mind at all.

I've got more distant relatives who are Jewish, and one of my second cousins is Muslim. (He lives in Sicily - his dad is an Albanian immigrant.) My sister Aglaé is an atheist, and my parents don't mind at all.

[GeekGirl1]

You'd probably save everybody some tears if you waited...

Maybe just sort of gradually phase yourself out of church activities, that way it's a lot less sudden?

[Syrum]

No act, if you're not. Tell your parents. You parents love you anyway. If you are, I mean. I would read through the bible first. I personally believe we've all struggled with this, but. As of now myself. It's my backbone, as I do not really have family I rely on.

[Angry Elf]

I say be who you are, let it be known, don't try to hide it. The more you hide who you are, the more you LOSE who you are... the more lost you begin to feel, the more confused you are as you continue into the real journey of life... You've got to find yourself, that's what's important. They love you- I'm sure they'll come around!

[CrazyPerson101]

Honestly its how you feel. Im a christian ( religious family ), that's how i've been brought up and will stay a christian. If you feel as if you don't believe anymore, then tell your parents. They'll get over it eventually. If you wanna play it safe , Id wait till your away if I were you. Whichever you choose, All I can say is good luck.

[Body odah Man]

The Romans said Esto quod es. If your parents love you they'll have to concur with that. Good luck friend. Remember, acceptance is all