Guess I might need help after all.

[Whiskey-Lullaby]

Hi guys, let me introduce me first...

I'm a 18 year-old girl. Lire has never been easy for me. Even though I have parents who love me, my sibling was very very violent to me. I've been abused many times. I've been bullied at school a lot. Everytime I though I had a friend, they ended up turning their backs on me because I wasn't good enough for them. I've been through depression, self harm and suicidal thoughts as well.

I have major self-esteem issues... I keep thinking I'm not good enough, for anyone. Everytime I see someone I compare myself to the person and end up feeling like I'm crap compared to them.
For example there's this guy friend I really care about. He keeps on talking about this girl I know a little. She's pretty, she's smart... she basically has everything. And I know he talks to me, but I don't matter to him when she's here.
He even told me, "You're better than nothing" one day...

I try to protect the ones I love, not telling them about my problems... caus I fear they will run away (some have before).

I know my problem, the reason of my depression. It's my lack of self esteem. I don't know how to solve that problem. I am not asking for much, I don't want to love myself. But not wanting to die or cut my skin actually would be great...

If any of you guys know how I can get better, or if you want to talk... feel free to comment :)

[Miserabilia]

Hi, thanks for sharing your story.
Even though I have a conflicting personality,
I have had many self esteem (and still have) myself.
Though I don't really know how to help you,
I know how you feel with comparing yourself and feeling awful.
With me this happened long ago and slowly started developing into social anxiety and depression, and like I said before,
I have a conflicting personality/double personality.
What people like us need is a good friend that never judges or leaves...

[JamesSuperBoy]

Can you see a doctor or counselor Sorry but I m in Scotland so do not know how you might get help in Germany

[Irishperson15]

Hi guys, let me introduce me first...

I'm a 18 year-old girl. Lire has never been easy for me. Even though I have parents who love me, my sibling was very very violent to me. I've been abused many times. I've been bullied at school a lot. Everytime I though I had a friend, they ended up turning their backs on me because I wasn't good enough for them. I've been through depression, self harm and suicidal thoughts as well.

I have major self-esteem issues... I keep thinking I'm not good enough, for anyone. Everytime I see someone I compare myself to the person and end up feeling like I'm crap compared to them.
For example there's this guy friend I really care about. He keeps on talking about this girl I know a little. She's pretty, she's smart... she basically has everything. And I know he talks to me, but I don't matter to him when she's here.
He even told me, "You're better than nothing" one day...

I try to protect the ones I love, not telling them about my problems... caus I fear they will run away (some have before).

I know my problem, the reason of my depression. It's my lack of self esteem. I don't know how to solve that problem. I am not asking for much, I don't want to love myself. But not wanting to die or cut my skin actually would be great...

If any of you guys know how I can get better, or if you want to talk... feel free to comment :)

I know how you feel in the respect that you have low self-esteem and bullying but not with the other things. Firstly, the bullies. I know it is a cliche but you should ignore them. I did it before and, to be honest, laughing in their face at their insults hurts them a lot more than anything else you could do. Secondly, self-esteem, body image, etc. is a big issue for I'd say at least the majority of teens. I used to have your problem too but then one day I woke up and something came over me. I just seemed to disregard my negative thoughts and learn to appreciate myself for who I am. Take what you are good at and use that. Like don't think about your sibling, take how your parents love and care for you. Don't think about the bullying, think about how you are going to school, getting an education and will have good prospects in life because you care. Furthermore, take your possible weaknesses, e.g. you may be impatient, but let that be a strength that you try to get your work done on time. There are guys and girls everywhere that seem to be 'cool' or 'popular' but most of the time it is just an act. When someone wants to settle down and have a proper relationship, it is someone like you that they will turn to. At your age, serious relationships aren't really a necessity yet but if you appreciate yourself for who you are and value your strengths, it will come. Think of it this way: if you respect yourself, others will respect you.

Remember: all humans are equal. We may not all look the same or act the same, but, underneath, we are all the same with the same strengths and weaknesses. Don't let anyone tell you they're better than you because they're not. Best of luck, if you ever need any help, let me know. Hope at least some of my experience helped.

[CosmicNoodle]

Hi, thanks for sharing your story.
Even though I have a conflicting personality,
I have had many self esteem (and still have) myself.
Though I don't really know how to help you,
I know how you feel with comparing yourself and feeling awful.
With me this happened long ago and slowly started developing into social anxiety and depression, and like I said before,
I have a conflicting personality/double personality.
What people like us need is a good friend that never judges or leaves...

I know what you mean, I will never understand what sort of person could possibally leave someone who needs help in the dust. Its happened to me multiple times.

You can talk to anyone about your problems, us, your parents, teachers, close friends. Just don't keep it to your self or it just spirals out of controle.

[Dibmelendez]

Sometimes talking about it just helps, even if you cry about it, I'm the end you feel like at least you said it, and honestly therapy does work, it really does, it helps to put things into perspective, the world is cruel, but sometimes you find the right thing that helps, I really hope you can lift yourself up, and if you need anyone to talk to, I'm all ears