Mental-freaking-crisis

[Dark Unicorn]

I am in such a terrible place.Every single time I try to get out of this rut and end up falling back in.Harder.Much harder.I have tried everything in my power so far.I even told my family about it (indirectly but they got the message loud and clear) and it sucks that I got no help from them.I have been depressed for as long as I can remember.Some days I am able to distract myself with music and "friends" and TV but most days I fall apart.I don't know if this is connected with it but I can spend days with a sharp pain in my chest and a lump in throat.I try to stay in the family room where I know I'm forced to pretend I am okay but I find myself having to go to thr bathroom to cry a bit.My head aches a lot too and I can never sleep throughout the night.Sometimes I feel this pain in my side which doesn't go for weeks but I haven't felt that in a while.A lot of times if I'm in the middle of reading or texting friends I just suddenly get this terrible feeling of depression.Sometimes I get heart palpitations.I am able to hide all this for fear of being called an attention-seeker.What do I do?I just want to die most times and I feel so disconnected from God like I'm talking to myself when I pray which I do all the time.I really don't know why I'm still here:)

[RavleIncarnate]

Chiedza, just relax. Its depression, I don't know bout the pains, you should see a doctor for those, but I also get heart palplitations a lot. I get them randomly, but more when I exercise/swim a long time or when I'm stressed (like right now.) It is, however, shitty of your family to know this and not do anything about it. Thats just not right. Nie lekker nie. Get a thing to distract you, I have music too. You can always talk to me, I'm your friend, remember? Or go talk to billy, another of my friends. You would like him. We can always PM too!! Just chill a bit, drive those demons from your mind. Imagine this:

Your brain is a room, and when you remember something, you walk into that room. Now, all the memories and depressed feelings and shit, the bad things, imagine putting them in boxes, sort them into different boxes. Now that you've packed them, use some tape to make sure they don't go open. After that, push these boxes into the corner, I know you're strong enough. Then, throw a blanket over these bad things. Now you can decorate it, using flowers or whatever. Maybe a potted plant, or a nice photo. I decorated it with pictures of my favorite species of dragons and hydras. See? Now you don't have to look at them anymore. They are gone. You have gotten rid of them. And the pains should be a visit to the doctor ASAP. He might redirect you. You are strong, and beautiful, and tough. You're good enough. You're good enough for this. Just be the kind of girl that when you wake up in the morning, the devil says; "Oh shit, she's up!!"

[Dark Unicorn]

Thank you.I will remember that and I will definitely try it.It's just really difficult most times especially cause I always feel so alone and that if I do talk to someone about it I tend to go on and on and can't stop seeing all the bad things when the other person is trying to be positive.And I end up ptetending I'm fine.But I'll try packing them away and hope to calm down and maybe get some sleep.

[RavleIncarnate]

Yes, sleep. Sleep is good. Its the best thing ever. If you know you're dreaming, you can control it. You escape all the stress of Life.

[Microcosm]

I see that you are quite religious. That's good. :)

Music is GREAT! It is a really good way to get out of this world for a bit and relax. I would definitely not only talk to my family and close friends but also let them know how serious this is. You can live on. You can do this. I truly believe that there is a way out because I have been through this. If I were you, I would try to find a hobby or something to get my mind off of depression and let yourself go. Let your mind roam freely. These thoughts have been stuck in your head(and now on VT) for quite some time now. I would look into getting into art or writing. They are really good ways of expressing thoughts and emotions.

Again, I believe in you and you can make it out of this slump. Just keep fighting.

Hope I helped! Best of luck, my friend. :)