my parents' fight

[Wandering in Wonder]

Hi. I'm new here. Anyway, I overheard a horrible fight my parents had two years ago, and it's still bothering me. First of all, it was on the phone, so I only heard my dad's side of it. Basically he found out that my mom cheated on him before they married. He was yelling at her all day and calling her terrible names. I genuinely thought they would get divorced after nearly twenty years of marriage. My grandma took me out for ice cream that evening, and when I returned home, my dad was watching TV as if nothing had happened. My mom was on vacation with my sister for the week. Anyway, I told my dad what I had overheard and asked him, "How could she do that?" My mom is the most loving, caring, devoted person; she works her butt off every second of every day. I can't see her, even as a thirty-year-old, commiting such an act of hostility. My dad said, "People make mistakes. You'll understand when you're older." What did he mean by that? I know I can't bring this topic up to my parents as it would make them relive the pain, but I don't understand why my beautiful, perfect, intelligent mom would do that. Can someone please explain it and help me because I can't do it on my own anymore. Thanks in advance.

[Curious.kid]

Wait your mom is 30 but she was married for 20 years! It was two years ago so maybe you can talk to your dad about it again if it's really bothering you. But since they didn't get divorced maybe everything is fine now? I dont know what else to say but my parents fight a lot too and my dad breaks things.

[Wandering in Wonder]

No, she was about thirty when she cheated. And I'm sorry about your own situation.

[Dalcourt]

Hi. I'm new here. Anyway, I overheard a horrible fight my parents had two years ago, and it's still bothering me. First of all, it was on the phone, so I only heard my dad's side of it. Basically he found out that my mom cheated on him before they married. He was yelling at her all day and calling her terrible names. I genuinely thought they would get divorced after nearly twenty years of marriage. My grandma took me out for ice cream that evening, and when I returned home, my dad was watching TV as if nothing had happened. My mom was on vacation with my sister for the week. Anyway, I told my dad what I had overheard and asked him, "How could she do that?" My mom is the most loving, caring, devoted person; she works her butt off every second of every day. I can't see her, even as a thirty-year-old, commiting such an act of hostility. My dad said, "People make mistakes. You'll understand when you're older." What did he mean by that? I know I can't bring this topic up to my parents as it would make them relive the pain, but I don't understand why my beautiful, perfect, intelligent mom would do that. Can someone please explain it and help me because I can't do it on my own anymore. Thanks in advance.

Well, your mom is only human and humans do make mistakes or bad decisions. Only your Mom knows why she had done it...your parents fought over it and as they didn't divorce it sounds like they kinda solved their problems somehow...it is not worth trying to discuss it with them and maybe opening old wounds, so I'd say the best thing is to just forget about the whole thing.

And well as for your Dad's telling you to understand it when you are older it's a grown ups polite way of telling you that's none of your business anyway and they don't feel like explaining.

Hope this is helpful somehow.

[Menzis]

My mom cheated on my dad too, they're divorced now.