I never thought that would happen to me

[Dalcourt]

I never really thought about this but one of my friends brought it up a few days ago and now I'm kinda worried.
But I guess I have to explain from the beginning. I'm openly gay...I'm not sure if I ever had an "official outing" but pretty much everyone who knows me knows about my sexuality even if I haven't told them about it.So I assume my sexuality is pretty obvious to everyone. Usually everyone is also quite accepting where I live and I hardly ever experienced homophobia or hate.
Soon my Dad and I will move from the city out into a small rural place as my Dad has been offered a job there. I'm nervous enough about moving and going to a new school, but now my friend had made me really freak out about the whole thing.

My friend told me that I shouldn't tell anyone about my sexuality cuz people there would be very homophobic and I could be an outsider if they know.

So yeah, what would be the best strategy? Trying to hide? Or being just like always and risk being shunned by others?

I have no idea if it's really that bad or just a prejudice my friend has...I've been there only briefly once to have a look at our new home and haven't really met anyone there.

I really don't know, but this whole thing makes me anxious because of my sexuality for the first time in my life.

[anoobis]

Hmm...I say tell them only if they ask, if someone gives you trouble speak with the principal or something, though sometimes they don't help at all, true. What I don't get is how everyone knows that you're gay without you coming out to them...I mean people may assume you are, but they can't be sure without you admitting it, right?

[ThatGuy13]

first of all where is this rural place? is it in a strict religious area? I wouldn't tell anyone until I got comfortable and new the general feel of the place. Don't tell anyone unless you're sure the consequences will not be too bad once you've settled in.

[Hudor]

don't tell anyone unless they ask but since your sexuality is pretty obvious don't go out of the way to hide it or to change yourself to fit into someone else's perspective.

[Dalcourt]

first of all where is this rural place? is it in a strict religious area? I wouldn't tell anyone until I got comfortable and new the general feel of the place. Don't tell anyone unless you're sure the consequences will not be too bad once you've settled in.

Where it is? Southern USA, Louisiana...I dunno how religious they are there...but I'm sure it's mainly Catholics.

Well, I don't have the intention of running around telling everyone I'm gay and stuff...but I also want to be able to have my boyfriend to able to visit me without playing hide and seek.

[Blood]

Where it is? Southern USA, Louisiana...I dunno how religious they are there...but I'm sure it's mainly Catholics.

Well, I don't have the intention of running around telling everyone I'm gay and stuff...but I also want to be able to have my boyfriend to able to visit me without playing hide and seek.

I'm from Louisiana. It really depends on the area you're moving to. If you're moving to the New Orleans area (or somewhat near there) then people are generally going to be accepting of you.

Everywheres else is pretty bad though...especially if it's a rural area. I've recently moved from New Orleans to what could be considered a rural area of Louisiana. They're pretty homophobic here.

It's ultimately you're decision on whether or not you want to come out. If you do, just be prepared to have people attack you and dislike you because of it. But there will be people who accept you, you'll just have to find them (if they don't find you first).

[steellord321]

I'm from rural area and can tell you for your safety don't come out till you get a feel for the place. If there's 1 church per 100 people, confederate flags all over, republican signs and you hear "that's gay" all the time....could be 90%+ will hate or reject you if they find out. Now, you don't want imbecile rednecks as friends anyway i'm sure so who cares but, i also had rocks thrown at me till i passed out, a window in the house smashed, a car tire slashed, you get the picture. Had to transfer schools cause i couldn't take it anymore. Verbal bullying can suck bad too

But still, even in the worst places there's the other 10%. Problem is they're afraid to show their tolerance for their own safety too. If you can find them, befriend them and you can come out to them but make sure they keep your secret.

I doubt that even best case you move to a place that's more than 30-40% pro gay so you're gonna have a hard time being openly gay. Some religious types aren't violent or bullies but just disapprove and will leave you be. That's not so bad. Maybe you'll get lucky like that

[Dalcourt]

I'm from Louisiana. It really depends on the area you're moving to. If you're moving to the New Orleans area (or somewhat near there) then people are generally going to be accepting of you.

Everywheres else is pretty bad though...especially if it's a rural area. I've recently moved from New Orleans to what could be considered a rural area of Louisiana. They're pretty homophobic here.

It's ultimately you're decision on whether or not you want to come out. If you do, just be prepared to have people attack you and dislike you because of it. But there will be people who accept you, you'll just have to find them (if they don't find you first).

I was born in New Orleans, myself and never had any problems when we lived there that's why I thought maybe people couldn't be too bad if you move a little further away. We will move to St Mary parish it is I guess...small place there, saying more would be TMI, lol...

Anyway as I said before most people who meet me assume I'm gay anyway...so if they are the same there even if I don't out me, they will probably call me gay anyway...

I don't think there's a way for me to come across straight to others if they don't think me gay they think I'm transgender or whatever.

I don't really worry about the grown ups, I guess I can deal with that...I'm just worried about school...I don't want to get into trouble there...my Dad will kill me if I do.

[Gamma Male]

I live in a rural area of Texas and people here are mostly okay, but I haven't really come out to anyone other than my family and close friends. I'm sure if you look hard you'll be able to find friends who'll accept you and back you up.

[Dalcourt]

I live in a rural area of Texas and people here are mostly okay, but I haven't really come out to anyone other than my family and close friends. I'm sure if you look hard you'll be able to find friends who'll accept you and back you up.

Yeah, I really hope I find someone...or else I'll be reduced to only having online friends and that would kinda suck.
I guess I just have to wait and see...but what bad could happen if they don't like me, anyway? I've always been immune to bullies....

[Bull]

don't tell anyone unless they ask but since your sexuality is pretty obvious don't go out of the way to hide it or to change yourself to fit into someone else's perspective.

I agree. You need to get to know your new school mates and develop their acceptance of you as a human being. As you build friendships there will be some natural mutual attraction--non sexual--that happens. I live in a rural area of Oklahoma and we rarely get new people in our area. But when a new guy comes in who is friendly, gets involved in school activities, and does NOT talk about how great it was "back home" he is readily assimilated into the student body. It does take time so be patient and be friendly. You'll be okay. Keep us posted about your progress. Your VT family cares!

[Dalcourt]

I agree. You need to get to know your new school mates and develop their acceptance of you as a human being. As you build friendships there will be some natural mutual attraction--non sexual--that happens. I live in a rural area of Oklahoma and we rarely get new people in our area. But when a new guy comes in who is friendly, gets involved in school activities, and does NOT talk about how great it was "back home" he is readily assimilated into the student body. It does take time so be patient and be friendly. You'll be okay. Keep us posted about your progress. Your VT family cares!

Yeah, I totally get that...I don't plan to walk in one of my new classes, sayin "hi I'm *insert name here :)* and I'm gay" or whatever. Problem is that I'm often told that I "look gay" whatever that means. I guess I've never really outed myself at my old school, me being gay was just kind of a general assumption by the student body and the staff there..
Well, if it is the same there I guess I won't have much of a chance if they are homophobic or prejudiced.

But I don't really know how to act different.

I really want to fit in, I won't tell them that living in the city is better or that they are ignorant rednecks, lol...I'm really not like that at all.I lived in rural areas before and always enjoyed it ... I luv hunting and fishing trips and always find I miss those kind of things in the city. But well, I was too young back then to think about sexuality and was generally accepted as the weird lil kid.

So yeah, this whole thing makes me really anxious and I haven't slept much for days, lol.

[Blood]

I was born in New Orleans, myself and never had any problems when we lived there that's why I thought maybe people couldn't be too bad if you move a little further away. We will move to St Mary parish it is I guess...small place there, saying more would be TMI, lol...

Anyway as I said before most people who meet me assume I'm gay anyway...so if they are the same there even if I don't out me, they will probably call me gay anyway...

I don't think there's a way for me to come across straight to others if they don't think me gay they think I'm transgender or whatever.

I don't really worry about the grown ups, I guess I can deal with that...I'm just worried about school...I don't want to get into trouble there...my Dad will kill me if I do.

Yeah, same here. Haha oh ok, I know the general area you're talking about.

Yeah. I can understand why you're worrying. Have you tried talking to your dad about this? Just to voice your concerns? He might be able to relate, and outs good to let a parent know sometimes.

I hope everything works out for you. Moving from place to place is really hard. I'm here if you ever want to talk, and I sincerely mean that.

[Dalcourt]

Yeah, same here. Haha oh ok, I know the general area you're talking about.

Yeah. I can understand why you're worrying. Have you tried talking to your dad about this? Just to voice your concerns? He might be able to relate, and outs good to let a parent know sometimes.

I hope everything works out for you. Moving from place to place is really hard. I'm here if you ever want to talk, and I sincerely mean that.

Thanks a lot...yeah, I should probably try to talk to Dad about it. For his sake I'm glad we move, as he will have a decent job and get away from those people who he is taking drugs with...so I really don't want to make it bad for him.

It's just sometimes I feel like the older I get the more uncomfortable I feel about my sexuality...shouldn't it be the other way round?

[ATOMICskittles]

I never really thought about this but one of my friends brought it up a few days ago and now I'm kinda worried.
But I guess I have to explain from the beginning. I'm openly gay...I'm not sure if I ever had an "official outing" but pretty much everyone who knows me knows about my sexuality even if I haven't told them about it.So I assume my sexuality is pretty obvious to everyone. Usually everyone is also quite accepting where I live and I hardly ever experienced homophobia or hate.
Soon my Dad and I will move from the city out into a small rural place as my Dad has been offered a job there. I'm nervous enough about moving and going to a new school, but now my friend had made me really freak out about the whole thing.

My friend told me that I shouldn't tell anyone about my sexuality cuz people there would be very homophobic and I could be an outsider if they know.

So yeah, what would be the best strategy? Trying to hide? Or being just like always and risk being shunned by others?

I have no idea if it's really that bad or just a prejudice my friend has...I've been there only briefly once to have a look at our new home and haven't really met anyone there.

I really don't know, but this whole thing makes me anxious because of my sexuality for the first time in my life.

OMG! I have recently been in the almost situation. I came from a school where I told anyone and everybody. Not all but must people heard or understood (cause I can't hide things like this for shit). My family then bought a house in the suburbs. And I had to make a decision, and my friends and I said play it safe and check the weather before coming out. I completely fucked that plan. On my 5th day at my new school I came out. Truly because I can't hide it and I myself prefer to be openly gay. I feel more comfortable in my skin. Just go with your gut feeling. Good luck.

[NickCollins]

I never really thought about this but one of my friends brought it up a few days ago and now I'm kinda worried.
But I guess I have to explain from the beginning. I'm openly gay...I'm not sure if I ever had an "official outing" but pretty much everyone who knows me knows about my sexuality even if I haven't told them about it.So I assume my sexuality is pretty obvious to everyone. Usually everyone is also quite accepting where I live and I hardly ever experienced homophobia or hate.
Soon my Dad and I will move from the city out into a small rural place as my Dad has been offered a job there. I'm nervous enough about moving and going to a new school, but now my friend had made me really freak out about the whole thing.

My friend told me that I shouldn't tell anyone about my sexuality cuz people there would be very homophobic and I could be an outsider if they know.

So yeah, what would be the best strategy? Trying to hide? Or being just like always and risk being shunned by others?

I have no idea if it's really that bad or just a prejudice my friend has...I've been there only briefly once to have a look at our new home and haven't really met anyone there.

I really don't know, but this whole thing makes me anxious because of my sexuality for the first time in my life.

just tell them your gay. your bound to find people who will support you and will want to be your friend. and dont take any shit about being gay, it's your life not theirs.

[Karkat]

I live in a rural area of Utah...So you can imagine the homophobia. Among adults it isn't terrible- when I worked at McDonalds, one of my managers was a lesbian, and everyone loved her. :) No one had a problem with her at all.

However, I know, from one of my friends, that the local HS isn't so accepting, and kids have been bullied for their sexual orientation before. I think it depends on the area, the school, the kids. Really, you roll the dice everywhere you go, which is unfortunate...