Help the most confused 18 year old on earth

[Zeonx]

So I've known this girl for 3 years, but we had only gotten closer 6 months ago. We talked everyday. Got closer by the day till we reached the point in which we would talk for hours on the phone, everyday. We would talk and laugh about literally anything. Flirt, joke, and have a great time together both in school and on the phone.

It all seemed right. I was encouraged by my friends, who clearly think that she likes me, to tell her that I like her and make the first step. I did. She gave me the "I don't wanna lose you" cliché. We tried resuming being just close friends again, but she said she was confused and needed a break. She would also tell me to stop telling her nice things, cause she's confused.

After we had spent a month without talking, we made up and became close friends again. We would talk on the phone again everyday. She cares about every little personal detail about me. Shes always next to me through hard times and she cares so much about the other girls I have in my life. Today she told me that I had no idea how much she loved me and that shes afraid shes hurting me.

I know she says she does not love me the way I want her too, but I cannot really believe that. When we're together, I can see it in her eyes. I really can. Anyone who has been in love before knows the difference between a usual look and a romantic one. I can see her eyes sparkle, her lips smile, hell I can almost hear her heart beat. We have all the chemistry in the world between us. We even sometimes say the same things at the same time.

Please help me!! Should I just give up on her, considering that she said she loves me like a friend?

Is she, by any means, playing hard to get?

Do I need to go out with her on a date so maybe she can be sure of her feelings?

Please help me.. I'm desperate and confused..

[yeahsure]

there is no need for you to be confused, you understand how you feel.

however, you do not seem to uderstand why she is confused, but, you won't, because she doesn't herself.

i would continue to be friends, which you imply is something you know is a strength, and give her as much time as she needs to figure out her feelings.

do not pressure her.

you cannot assume, just because you both get on fantastically, and whatever, that this means she thinks anything more than that you both having similar personalities.

it's never as simple as 1+1= 2.

[xXl0sth0peXx]

I agree with what yeahsure said. You really can't understand what she's thinking/why she's thinking what she is, especially if she doesn't.

I think that no longer being her friend because she won't go out with you isn't a smart idea.. it's not worth a friendship. You also don't know what the future holds, and maybe down the road she'll have a change of heart or something.

Maybe see if she just wants to hang out. Go see a movie or something casual, where you can spend some time with her. You could alternatively do something as a larger group, with her involved. But the harder you go on her, the more she's going to repel if she's not interested.

The best advice I can give you is to just go on being her friend, and give her time. Don't rush her, and if it's meant to be, it'll work out. Best of luck to you x

[Luminous]

I agree with yeahsure and Val. She is probably just as confused as you are - and believe me, you are NOT the most confused 18 year old on earth! Respect her request and continue to be her friend. Breaking up your friendship is not going to get you anywhere. She probably does not understand her feelings for you and your feelings for her, and wants to slow things down and test the waters. It sounds to me like even if you can't be together, she's a good friend for you and you care about each other.

[hood]

pretty much what the others said. wait and ask her out, try to get closer in a more "romantic" way. if she wants to be with you, good for you. if she refuses, walk away with dignity, don't go like begging and shit. and finally, if she tells you the same again, that she's confused, she needs time etc just never try again. firstly you're not her toy to play with and secondly she could be saying that just not to hurt you by saying directly no. her behavior when you are talking as friends could be explained as that she enjoys to be your friend but nothing more. it's better to keep it that way than to be in a relationship that will ultimately fall apart because there are no deeper feelings.