Confused beyond belief with my sexuality.

[Keats]

I'm 18 years old, and have always thought of myself as a straight male.
I have had several girlfriends over the years, i've slept with a number of girls and find women attractive.
Everything was pretty normal until about a year or two ago, when i started going out to clubs and getting drunk or tipsy. i'd find myself kissing my guy friends, just as a drunken state and not thinking anything of it. Then it started to happen more and more, until pretty much every time i got drunk i'd end up kissing a guy and/or a girl. I've been in relationships pretty much constantly for the past few years, all with women, and i'm in a relationship with a woman currently. I brushed all this off as 'experimentation' and 'curiousness' which i guess it kinda was - i never did anything sexual with these guys, just a kiss.
Between my current girlfriend and the previous one - i ended up sleeping with a guy a few times, and yeah i liked it - but i realised i preferred women, it was just that some guys did it for me.
Now the thing that has confused me even more is what happened last night, it's a fairly long story but i don't know what to make of it:
So i went up to see my friend at university, and he has a girlfriend who is very liberal - i've kissed him before, just as a joke really, didn't really think anything of it. Except this time we were taking drugs before going out, i snorted a few lines of coke (which is not a cool thing to do, and i definitely do not condone) and got chatty and full of energy. His girlfriend comes up to us, and like pushes us together and we start kissing pretty full on. Everyones laughing, we stop and laugh it off… But i genuinely felt something, it wasn't something i've felt before - i don't know if it was the drugs or what, but i really enjoyed this kiss.
At around 10pm we snorted half a gram of MDMA (again not cool) and headed to this club, and i ended up dancing with and kissing this guy all night, and loving every second. While i still have a girlfriend i would never do anything more, and she knows i tend to kiss guys when i drink - but i don't think she'd feel the same if she knew i actually felt something.
I just don't know what to make of it, and to make things worse - i can't talk to my family about this, as my father is Jewish and my Mother is Catholic and they are very judgemental about everything i do.
I'm just so confused and want to know whats going on, does anyone have and helpful advice?

[Blood]

Do you feel any sort of attraction to men when you're not under the influence of drugs or alcohol? You're young, your hormones are going crazy. Maybe you should lay off of the drugs and see if you feel anything for guys while sober.

Also, you need to be honest with your girlfriend and tell her what's going on if she doesn't know. If you feel like you're going to cheat on her, you should end the relationship now. Because from what you've said it sounds like you've come pretty close to cheating already.

[Keats]

Do you feel any sort of attraction to men when you're not under the influence of drugs or alcohol? You're young, your hormones are going crazy. Maybe you should lay off of the drugs and see if you feel anything for guys while sober.

Also, you need to be honest with your girlfriend and tell her what's going on if she doesn't know. If you feel like you're going to cheat on her, you should end the relationship now. Because from what you've said it sounds like you've come pretty close to cheating already.

i never had an attraction to any of the guys, until recently to be honest - thats when i've felt guilty about it. I understand your point with drugs, i definitely admit that it is stupid and reckless.

I honestly don't think i'm going to cheat on her, i would never - she's been everything to me since the moment i met her. And i love her more than i think i could ever love anyone else, which is what makes this even more distressing? i can accept that if i'm having feelings for these guys then i should definitely talk it through with her - thank you.

[Bull]

Hi Keats, like you I am confused sexuality. Unlike you I am not very experienced with girls or guys. I enjoy kissing girls and feeling their boobs. But that's as far as it goes. I've never done anything with a guy, but I would if I had the opportunity. I would not be the one to start it though. I think about it a lot though and am turned on by well built guys, like the ones I play sports with. I have never thought about kissing a guy or any thing else, but you never know where something may end up. It is confusing, big time. Now, about the drinking and drugs: yeah I drink with my friends, most of us do not drink to get drunk, just a little buzz. But drugs is a whole different mess. Lay off the drugs, drug use hurts you and could hurt those around you. Please be safe and keep those you care about safe. In the mean time we go on with our sexually frustrated and confused lives.

[Hudor]

Hi Keats, like you I am confused sexuality. Unlike you I am not very experienced with girls or guys. I enjoy kissing girls and feeling their boobs. But that's as far as it goes. I've never done anything with a guy, but I would if I had the opportunity. I would not be the one to start it though. I think about it a lot though and am turned on by well built guys, like the ones I play sports with. I have never thought about kissing a guy or any thing else, but you never know where something may end up. It is confusing, big time. Now, about the drinking and drugs: yeah I drink with my friends, most of us do not drink to get drunk, just a little buzz. But drugs is a whole different mess. Lay off the drugs, drug use hurts you and could hurt those around you. Please be safe and keep those you care about safe. In the mean time we go on with our sexually frustrated and confused lives.

I agree about drugs

For the sexuality issue for you both:

1.Try reading The Big Sexuality Sticky post (quite informative)

2.Watch some gay porn videos and see if you feel gross, sick or just plain disinterested.

3.Ask some of your friends, who know you well enough, about their opinion because things you may be doing unconsciously are more noticeable to others (and don't ask point-blank of course, try to present it as a joke maybe).

4.If you still feel confused leave it at that, let your over-wrought mind relax a bit and concentrate on the sunnier side of your lives. The realization would probably come faster if you would quit chasing it.

At least that much worked for me so hoping the same for you. :)

[Bull]

Read my Thread about mind and penis. Lots of good information there plus my resolution of my confusion.