My Mind & Penis Are Sendiing Conflicting Messages

[Bull]

I am so messed up. I am a high school jock who loves women, love being with them. My mind tells me, and everyone I know believes, that sex before marriage and that sex between two guys is wrong. But my penis is telling me otherwise about guys. Until last summer I had never had a gay thought of any kind. I have been around my sport team friends naked for years and never gave it a second thought. Now I get turned on in the locker room and showers seeing naked boy bodies. Last summer a cousin was visiting from out of state and we were sleeping in a tent and he masturbated me. I pretended to be asleep. I did nothing in return. I think what he did is wrong, BUT it really felt good. Ever since then I have started noticing guys in a different way and wanting to repeat the experience. My religious background says that my thoughts are evil but my penis wants to feel loved. And I wonder what it would feel like to hold another guy's penis. Any help you can give me on how you would manage my situation would be greatly appreciated.

[Camazotz]

Lots of teenagers get these thoughts because of hormones. Thinking about guys in a sexual way doesn't make you gay or bisexual (not that there's anything wrong with being either of those things). Nearly all teenagers are curious about sex and trying new things. I don't recommend doing things with family members, but don't feel pressured into being someone you aren't.

[Hudor]

Something similar has been happening with me for some time. I love, lust girls and I can only think of dating, marrying and living with one. Even so I would tend to linger over the pictures of nude men, get turned on by gay porn although less so than straight sex videos and would not mind getting a b/j or h/j from a guy. However I finally figured out I’m straight because though b/js and h/js are fine but in the long run I cannot visualize myself being with a guy in any manner except friendship. So take your time and figure it out (it took me almost my entire phase of puberty to do so). Personally, I think you are just curious and horny but nonetheless straight.

[Blood]

Lots of teenagers get these thoughts because of hormones. Thinking about guys in a sexual way doesn't make you gay or bisexual (not that there's anything wrong with being either of those things). Nearly all teenagers are curious about sex and trying new things. I don't recommend doing things with family members, but don't feel pressured into being someone you aren't.


I agree with this. You're young and you want you experiment and there's nothing wrong with that. Use protection, be careful and responsible, and you should be fine.

If your religion is holding you back from something that could possibly help you to find out who you really are, you should reevaluate your religious stance.

[steellord321]

Curious might explain it so if you did it once or just waited till you get a bit older and those feelings fade away, that could work. Religion won't do crap for you though. People are born gay or hetero. Your thoughts are harmless and beyond your control, not "evil." What others (wrongly) believe won't help you either trust me. I come from small very religious town, and it doesn't do shit except make you hate yourself.

You need to figure things out for yourself. Don't just listen to me either but ask yourself WHY your thoughts are "evil" or getting a simple blowjob was so wrong. Ask yourself do you really love women or just following the expectations of others. Someday you'll move from that crap town and nothing they've said will matter. So you may as well ignore them now

[Bull]

Ok, upon reflection if I can't control my thoughts they are not evil, but if I act on those thoughts the action would be evil. It still comes down that I want to do evil things with another guy. Yeah, I'm a horny teen. I get a hard on looking at a pretty girl, I get hard kissing a girl. I get hard seeing a guy naked. I get hard a lot. If I really am straight why do I get hard seeing a naked guy? Why do I want a guy to masturbate me and why do I want to feel another guy penis in my hand? I am just a messed up mess.

[RavleIncarnate]

Ok, upon reflection if I can't control my thoughts they are not evil, but if I act on those thoughts the action would be evil. It still comes down that I want to do evil things with another guy. Yeah, I'm a horny teen. I get a hard on looking at a pretty girl, I get hard kissing a girl. I get hard seeing a guy naked. I get hard a lot. If I really am straight why do I get hard seeing a naked guy? Why do I want a guy to masturbate me and why do I want to feel another guy penis in my hand? I am just a messed up mess.

Okay. As revision, ALL GUYS HAVE HORMONES AND ALL GUYS HAVE LOTS OF BONERS DURING PUBERTY. I'm straight too, cuz while I gey hard seeing (less than straight) porn and seeing hot guys in speedos or naked, I can't imagine being with another guy in the long run. And yes, it is just hormones. Just don't think about it too badly. And everyone feels like the scene of a recent hurricane sometimes. And I'm kinda jocky too! Remember, you could always VM me. Or get to 100 posts and we could PM each other ;)

[Hudor]

By evil I’m guessing you mean religiously unacceptable and if that is the case I would suggest you to ponder over these:
A. Did bad things start happening to your cousin after he gave you a h/j?
B. Would the gods be really bothered by the fact that a guy happens to be experimenting with another?
C. Don’t you think they would rather prefer you to mature properly and be able to decide what is good for you or not?

[Bull]

By evil I’m guessing you mean religiously unacceptable and if that is the case I would suggest you to ponder over these:
A. Did bad things start happening to y'our cousin after he gave you a h/j?
B. Would the gods be really bothered by the fact that a guy happens to be experimenting with another?
C. Don’t you think they would rather prefer you to mature properly and be able to decide what is good for you or not?

A: Not that I know of, he lives far away from me and I'm not sure.
B: There is only one God. And yes I think he cares.
C: No, I don't think it is up to me to decide what is good for me. I would decide it was right to do what was wrong. This is why I'm so messed up!::( PS I'm hiding in the school library on my laptop, lol.

[anoobis]

You sound at least bi-curious. And I don't mean to sound harsh, but I would reconsider believing in a religion that says your sexuality is unnatural or evil.

[RavleIncarnate]

A: Not that I know of, he lives far away from me and I'm not sure.
B: There is only one God. And yes I think he cares.
C: No, I don't think it is up to me to decide what is good for me. I would decide it was right to do what was wrong. This is why I'm so messed up!::( PS I'm hiding in the school library on my laptop, lol.

SCHOOL LIBRARY?! #ROTFLOL!!!!!!

Billy, dude, friend, calm down. It isn't neccesarily "sex" with another guy, and its also not neccesarily "gay" thoughts. Thinking these stuff doesn't mke you gay, it makes you horny, something that EVERY PERSON IN THE WORLD has been and will be. Its just experimentation. There are differences between being gay and wanting to experiment, moatly that being gay means you have emotional/sexual ties, while experimaentation is only sexual. Its not your sexuality. You're not messed uo. You are absolutley fine. You could do what most teenagers do, get this out of your system and be done with it, or, (as I expect you would) do what good religious people would do, and view this as S'tan's temptations. I'm not very religious; in fact, I'm agnostic. I don't know whether I believe or not, cuz I am a scientifical man, and I am not someone who would do things for my religion like I assume you would. But also, I still live by basic Christian morales and values.

[Vincent_Dat_Guy]

i say that u should really thnk about it before u do anything else

[backjruton]

I can't think of much to say from the OP alone because I myself have never had an attraction to girls in that way but I don't think you should let your religion stop you from being who you are and how you feel. Up until year 9 or so I didn't feel too attracted to anyone, gained a little more and since starting college my attraction to guys seems to have skyrocketed and now I get slightly turned on even thinking about 2 of them :whoops: It sucks where you live is still back in the past, I don't know too much about that, but you shouldn't try to change your ways because everyone around you would say you're wrong and maybe being stuck in the closet would be the best idea here but I also know how much that sucked which is why as soon as the discussion in college ended I told my mum straight away that I like guys a lot lot more but I didn't mention too much of how I feel towards girls :yeah:

[Bull]

SCHOOL LIBRARY?! #ROTFLOL!!!!!!

Billy, dude, friend, calm down. It isn't neccesarily "sex" with another guy, and its also not neccesarily "gay" thoughts. Thinking these stuff doesn't mke you gay, it makes you horny, something that EVERY PERSON IN THE WORLD has been and will be. Its just experimentation. There are differences between being gay and wanting to experiment, moatly that being gay means you have emotional/sexual ties, while experimaentation is only sexual. Its not your sexuality. You're not messed uo. You are absolutley fine. You could do what most teenagers do, get this out of your system and be done with it, or, (as I expect you would) do what good religious people would do, and view this as S'tan's temptations. I'm not very religious; in fact, I'm agnostic. I don't know whether I believe or not, cuz I am a scientifical man, and I am not someone who would do things for my religion like I assume you would. But also, I still live by basic Christian morales and values.

I want to thank everyone for posting on my thread. Your comments have been really helpful. This comment, however, really got my attention and gave me a lot to think about. The Dragon Rider has become a special friend and he has prompted me to think in ways I had never considered. Also, I am amazed at his compassion as he is a first year teen! I have read so many helpful posts on VT. I wish I had discovered it sooner. Maybe the guilt, fear, shame, and frustration I felt for months after the event with my cousin could have been resolved sooner. I must also recognize another first year teen, Ezra, for his helpful posts on so many threads.

Upon reflection of all this VT information and challenge along with some recent news stories--the Pope acceptance of gays, and for me this is huge: an openly gay football player has been drafted to the NFL! and it was on national TV showing his partner and he in an embrace and some serious kissing--I am going to stop feeling guilty for not stopping my cousin, I am going to manage my fear--how could anyone find out about it, I am rid of the shame I felt because I enjoyed it, and, well the frustration of wanting it to happen again is just going to go away with time--time for a relationship to develop where someone and I can share pleasure.

So, again, thanks for being so helpful!

[Dalcourt]

That you learnt a lot of things about yourself and about your sexuality is really awesome for you, I won't deny that. It's great that you'll see a way of finding a balance between a possible bisexuality and your religion due to lots of uplifting posts, now.

Still, if I was in your place I would take a step back before jumping in head first an consider what is reality and what's just hormones and unresolved sexual tension. I'm not telling you that homosexuality is bad I'm gay myself ...but I've never felt any doubts about anything, so doubting and being bi is always a dangerous path that will probably leave you and others hurt if you don't know what you want, so I just want to tell you don't rush things you'll regret later.;)

Apart from that, I'm I just uber sensitive because of my past , but why do you think it's okay for your cousin to touch you and do sexual things without your explicit consent, I would feel abused and absolutely horrified.

[Bull]

That you learnt a lot of things about yourself and about your sexuality is really awesome for you, I won't deny that. It's great that you'll see a way of finding a balance between a possible bisexuality and your religion due to lots of uplifting posts, now.

Still, if I was in your place I would take a step back before jumping in head first an consider what is reality and what's just hormones and unresolved sexual tension. I'm not telling you that homosexuality is bad I'm gay myself ...but I've never felt any doubts about anything, so doubting and being bi is always a dangerous path that will probably leave you and others hurt if you don't know what you want, so I just want to tell you don't rush things you'll regret later.;)

Apart from that, I'm I just uber sensitive because of my past , but why do you think it's okay for your cousin to touch you and do sexual things without your explicit consent, I would feel abused and absolutely horrified.
I have come to the realization that I gave my permission as I knew what was happening and did nothing to stop it. I could have pushed his hand off, but didn't. I could have rolled over, but I didn't. I did not fell used or abused just confused. Sorry you've had less than good experiences. I am not going to jump any of my friends, I'm just saying if something happens it happens. No rush. Have absolutely nothing against people who are gay. I felt that way before the cousin thing. I just don't get people putting people down because they are different from them. It has never made sense to me in any shape or at any level. The Bible says to love your brother and to treat every one the way you want to be treated. Don't get me started, I tend to rant!

[Dalcourt]

I have come to the realization that I gave my permission as I knew what was happening and did nothing to stop it. I could have pushed his hand off, but didn't. I could have rolled over, but I didn't. I did not fell used or abused just confused. Sorry you've had less than good experiences. I am not going to jump any of my friends, I'm just saying if something happens it happens. No rush. Have absolutely nothing against people who are gay. I felt that way before the cousin thing. I just don't get people putting people down because they are different from them. It has never made sense to me in any shape or at any level. The Bible says to love your brother and to treat every one the way you want to be treated. Don't get me started, I tend to rant!

Okay, I see how you feel about it, but I still feel your cousin's a creeper somehow as he just took advantage of you without asking for consent. I mean your not pushing him away could also mean you were too shocked to react ... how would he know? If some guy would grab my package without my permission he has to be glad if I don't rip off his hand...even if I like I like also being asked, lol.

Oh, and I think it is really great that you are a religious person who actually has common sense....the words of Jesus are about love and acceptance, not about hate and discrimination as so many religious people use them.

[Bull]

Thanks for the affirmation. It means a lot to have my religious views accepted.

[RavleIncarnate]

I'm agnostic, so I don't really know about religion currently...

[Hudor]

I have come to the realization that I gave my permission as I knew what was happening and did nothing to stop it. I could have pushed his hand off, but didn't. I could have rolled over, but I didn't. I did not fell used or abused just confused. Sorry you've had less than good experiences. I am not going to jump any of my friends, I'm just saying if something happens it happens. No rush. Have absolutely nothing against people who are gay. I felt that way before the cousin thing. I just don't get people putting people down because they are different from them. It has never made sense to me in any shape or at any level. The Bible says to love your brother and to treat every one the way you want to be treated. Don't get me started, I tend to rant!

Its good to see you are coming to terms with your sexuality and religious beliefs. Personally i'm not that religious but still i feel happy that you realise that God has nothing against homosexuality and that at the end of it you feel more confident and mature. :)

[Bull]

Aditya, THANK YOU!

[Jdc20181]

Well I'm a Christian too ....and its found lots of things Andre wrong and 2 same sex couples is one although I do get like you said turned on basicly with my penis ...and I'm straight I jerk with other guys ...no big deal ...I'm not regretting anything of it ....anyhow if you feel the need to experiment nothing wrong with that ....bible says don't judge that's a fact hope I can help

[Blank999]

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[BornActor]

I am so messed up. I am a high school jock who loves women, love being with them. My mind tells me, and everyone I know believes, that sex before marriage and that sex between two guys is wrong. But my penis is telling me otherwise about guys. Until last summer I had never had a gay thought of any kind. I have been around my sport team friends naked for years and never gave it a second thought. Now I get turned on in the locker room and showers seeing naked boy bodies. Last summer a cousin was visiting from out of state and we were sleeping in a tent and he masturbated me. I pretended to be asleep. I did nothing in return. I think what he did is wrong, BUT it really felt good. Ever since then I have started noticing guys in a different way and wanting to repeat the experience. My religious background says that my thoughts are evil but my penis wants to feel loved. And I wonder what it would feel like to hold another guy's penis. Any help you can give me on how you would manage my situation would be greatly appreciated.

Hey Billy!
I think you should really think about what feels right to you. I'm bisexual, and a Christian, but I don't think they conflict with one another, but there are certainly Christians that identify as queer and do see that it conflicts with their religious views. It took me awhile to figure out what my sexual identity was. At the very least, I like being able to openly say that I can be attracted to people of all gender identities. It's important and liberating for me to be honest with myself. Whether I act on it, is another thing. I think I'd have to feel like God really wants me to date a person.

It is also helpful to note that there is a such thing as romantic orientation and sexual orientation. I used to think I was straight because I only ever had crushes on girls. After I accepted my bisexuality, though, I realized I could be romantically attracted to multiple gender identities. You could be heteroromantic and homosexual or bisexual, but who knows? Feel free to PM me with any questions. Sexuality and Romantic Orientation are very complex things.

[digzchickz]

yeah man i know how you feel, i have a gf that i am crazy about but i am still a little bit curious too... i dont know if its just my hormones going crazy or if it just sounds exciting because its unknown or what... i guess everything makes more sense when we get older. i guess the best thing to do is to not be in a hurry to label yourself, and just go with your feelings, you feel how you feel, you cant control it, and there is really no reason to feel bad about how you feel either.

[Boxerbriefdude]

Hi Billy,

I was reading your thread "my mind and my penis are telling me different things".

I want to start off by making it clear that I have NO disrespect against members of the LBGT community as individuals. While I cannot respect their LBGT belifs, I still respect them.

From what I understand, I was having the same type of feelings as you. I know that you came to a decision that being bisexual or homosexual was in line with the bible and that God is accepting of them.

That said, I would implore you to read Leviticus. Remember that I mean you or anyone no condemnation.

God/Jesus clearly has no pension for LBGT's. This does not mean that He does not love them, but there is a line between His love (which He has for everyone equally) and acceptance into Heaven upon death.

I used to, and still do sometimes, have feelings like you. But I now know that by practicing bisexuality or homosexuality that I will not be saved as this is clearly against God's law.

I would love to here your thoughts on what I have said.

[maddogmj77]

Well, I'm bisexual, (or gay, or straight or something) and there's not really much I can say without offending you. I believe you shouldn't worry about it. Don't try and stop your thoughts, they are only thoughts. If you don't want to act on them, you won't. There is nothing to be ashamed or scared of.

[jjlewis]

I understand wot u mean:confused:

[Xavier]

Here's my response to your previous message since I don't have PM yet. I have a similar story to yours. I never questioned my sexuality until I turned 15. I like girls and want to date them and marry a woman but I also find male nudity attractive. I get aroused when I see nude men on porn and sometimes I watch gay porn (usually I close the video when they start to do anal) I'm not a fan of anal in any way, I don't find anal masturbation pleasing. I am willing to give a blow job and hand job but nothing other than that. I think my bi curiosity mostly come with my raging hormones cause almost anything turns me on. I just wanted to contact you and see your perspective and how you feel about guys and girls. I live in a homophobic area of Canada so I understand your feelings. I haven't experimented with guy or girls sexually, that's where a lot of my confusion comes from. What do you feel about girls? Does the nudity turn you on of a woman?

[Xavier]

My VM was blocked. Here's the answer to your questions. 1. Am I correct that you have not experimented with a guy?
2. Do you have a close friend that you would like to experiment with?
3. Is there any indication he would experiment?
4. Have you ever jo with a friend?
5. Would you kiss a guy?
6. Would you swallow his cum?
7. Would you top a guy?
8. Would you do things with a girl that you would not do with a guy?

[Xavier]

Sorry I meant to send this one: 1. Am I correct that you have not experimented with a guy? Yes that's correct.
2. Do you have a close friend that you would like to experiment with? Yes.
3. Is there any indication he would experiment? No, well sometimes off and on. We talk about sex a lot.
4. Have you ever jo with a friend? Yes
5. Would you kiss a guy? Don't know, maybe to experiment.
6. Would you swallow his cum? No.
7. Would you top a guy? Yes.
8. Would you do things with a girl that you would not do with a guy? Yes.