I don't know why i'm typing this

[Babs]

I feel so disconnected from everyone but I guess that's my fault because I am trying to avoid talking to people, yet I still feel shitty about it. I hate who I am and the person i'm trying so hard to be is impossible to become. I don't know where i'm going with this. I have tried so hard to fix myself and it hadn't worked. I feel like there's no hope because I'll always be the utter embarrassment of a person I am. sometimes I wish I was dead.
I don't know what to do.

[Hyper]

I feel so disconnected from everyone but I guess that's my fault because I am trying to avoid talking to people, yet I still feel shitty about it. I hate who I am and the person i'm trying so hard to be is impossible to become. I don't know where i'm going with this. I have tried so hard to fix myself and it hadn't worked. I feel like there's no hope because I'll always be the utter embarrassment of a person I am. sometimes I wish I was dead.
I don't know what to do.

What and why are you ''fixing'' yourself?

[Babs]

What and why are you ''fixing'' yourself?

I don't know. I guess I just don't want to be the annoying, immature person I've been. it's difficult to explain.

[Elvalight]

There's no reason you can't try to learn a few of the traits of someone you admire. I used to hate myself for being such a wuss about everything and my older sister said I was always overreacting, which made me feel pitiful. So I started finding people who I'd make as my own role models. For me, it was strong and loyal people who barely ever needed help. I observed what it was I admired about the person and tried to mirror that in personality, as well as in actions and in thinking. I didn't force myself to be someone else, but inspired myself by watching people who I admired and tried to become more like them in the areas I was weak in. If you feel immature, try getting to know people, in real life or even just on movies or tv shows that have a maturity to them you admire, and try that yourself. You'll never need to be anyone else, but there's no reason you can't add something to yourself. Be who you want to be, nobody can stop you :).

[Luminous]

I feel so disconnected from everyone but I guess that's my fault because I am trying to avoid talking to people, yet I still feel shitty about it. I hate who I am and the person i'm trying so hard to be is impossible to become. I don't know where i'm going with this. I have tried so hard to fix myself and it hadn't worked. I feel like there's no hope because I'll always be the utter embarrassment of a person I am. sometimes I wish I was dead.
I don't know what to do.

I feel like that too. It's difficult to not instantly be a part of the group, accepted by everyone. I think maybe we don't realize that we're not the only people that feel like we're on the outside looking in. We wish we could be like everyone else, who is so happy and seem to fit in, but are they really happy? Do they really feel like they fit in? You know, I don't know. Because I'm going through the same feelings as you I can't really offer you much guidance, rather, my support and friendship.

[Dibmelendez]

You have to be yourself and more, and don't be afraid to push your boundaries, to something your afraid to do, whether big or small, make small talk to others, ask a question, say hi, even if it doesn't work be happy you tried, celebrate the little things, because they add up to something big, don't be someone else, be a you with a broader boundaries

[Microcosm]

Don't let yourself be someone you aren't. I did that for a while and it was absolutely TERRIBLE. Once you just accept yourself and who you are and realize that you can't change most things about yourself, then you will find that your life will seem much better.