Thoughts about the end

[Wheatley]

So, I don't understand all the negative talk about suicide. I mean, there are people who just want it to end, maybe they feel that they can't cope and know that change won't be able to save them (either things just won't change or the change can't happen quick enough for them to cope).

In this case, that is me. I don't feel like getting into my story right now. This is more of a protest about why everyone who sees suicide as wrong is blind and inconsiderate. Basically, I have lots of different problems and they all make tackling any of them really hard. Things could change, but not quick enough to make it enough for me.

I've had suicidal thoughts for over 5 years now and, I've been close to actually doing it a few times. But recently, the reason why I haven't is just generally because of a freak happy mood swing, I forget about it, but the next day I'm back to suicidal again and it's a never ending cycle.

For me to be happy, my whole life needs to change. Everything. But everyone around me always gives the same tired "you're unique just the way you are, don't change" which is of course offending. So, if everything needs to change, why not just kill yourself and start afresh?

Some people think they are total "do good" ers by stopping people from commiting suicide. But, more often than not, this only delays the thoughts for another day making me feel all the worse the next.

So, my point is, why can't people be allowed to suicide? If they don't want help then that's their decision

[Breakeven]

So, I don't understand all the negative talk about suicide. I mean, there are people who just want it to end, maybe they feel that they can't cope and know that change won't be able to save them (either things just won't change or the change can't happen quick enough for them to cope).

In this case, that is me. I don't feel like getting into my story right now. This is more of a protest about why everyone who sees suicide as wrong is blind and inconsiderate. Basically, I have lots of different problems and they all make tackling any of them really hard. Things could change, but not quick enough to make it enough for me.

I've had suicidal thoughts for over 5 years now and, I've been close to actually doing it a few times. But recently, the reason why I haven't is just generally because of a freak happy mood swing, I forget about it, but the next day I'm back to suicidal again and it's a never ending cycle.

For me to be happy, my whole life needs to change. Everything. But everyone around me always gives the same tired "you're unique just the way you are, don't change" which is of course offending. So, if everything needs to change, why not just kill yourself and start afresh?

Some people think they are total "do good" ers by stopping people from commiting suicide. But, more often than not, this only delays the thoughts for another day making me feel all the worse the next.

So, my point is, why can't people be allowed to suicide? If they don't want help then that's their decision

honestly if you ever sit and really think about it the idea of it its just too sad, because i dont think anyone wanna really die and if a person ever feel like that its because this world sucks for making someone ever feel that way , no one deserve to feel that way
and people shouldnt suicide or be allowed because there is more in life to see and learn , ending it is like not giving urself a chance to actually find happiness
everything change and u will change and maybe become even more unique we all grow up , changing is good its its part of life it means you are moving on with your life , your learning new things
and every human can cope with pain they just take time to become strong , we are not perfect its okay to have a break down and feel weak and shitty but at some point you will have to face yourself and hold yourself together for you
you cant start fresh but you can try to live in a better way and find inner peace and happiness ,it wont be easy but it will be worth it

[Karkat]

Honestly? As someone who is bipolar and has EXTREME struggles with being suicidal, suicide is a fucking terrible thing. There is no "starting afresh", only an ending. I honestly could care less if you believe in an afterlife. I do to some extent, but that doesn't give me an excuse to just up and kill myself one day.

I've attempted suicide at least five times in the year 2014. Not one of those times has been worth it in the end. Sure, I'll still have suicidal thoughts, but those are just temporary. I have to look to the next time I'll be ok. Which is quite a bit of the time, really. These "freak mood swings" you're having? THAT'S life. Not all this depressed, suicidal shit in-between. How can you even consider that life? The only way you can is if you've never lived to begin with.

Suicide is stupid, it's selfish, and it benefits no one. Regardless of what you're clearly thinking, it's not a victimless crime. Sure, you may think that no one cares about you in real life, but you've just posted this here on this forum. Unless you think we're a bloody apathetic heartless bunch, you know that your death would affect us. Aside from that, you're justifying the thoughts of suicide among those on the edge, and that's pretty damn selfish. But you know what? It's not your fault. You're sick. You have a mental illness. That's what being suicidal is. Life may not be a bed of roses, but it can get better to some extent. If it couldn't, my life would be a lie. I should've been dead YEARS ago, heck, a decade ago even. But here I am. Life still has its ups and downs, but that's to be expected. It'll never be perfect. The goal is to make the downs livable and the ups worth living for. And it is possible.

You may think I'm being harsh, but that's because you're expecting us to coddle you, or possibly even to reprimand you, and that's not what my goal is. You are not your suicidal thoughts. They may have taken over who you are at the moment, but hey, that happened to me with alcohol once. Managed to fight that bitch off for over a year and a half now.

It's not your fault that life is happening this way, it's not your fault that you feel this way, but it will be your fault if you go through with things and end your life. I know you say this is purely to rant or debate about your...Certainly biased, and debatably warped opinion on suicide, but I'm not falling for that bullshit. You wouldn't have said a thing about your circumstances if it were. This is a cry for help. I've been there. I know.

So while I'm not going to tolerate you attempting to pull the wool over my eyes, I am here to talk if you need to, as I'm sure most of us are.

[RavleIncarnate]

I'm here to talk. I am very suicidal right now, and its the firat time I've ever even considered it, now. I feel as if nothing will be better, that time can't heal it fast enough. I need time to wait for me, but it doesn't, not for me, not for anyone. I am stuck in a pretty damn shitty piece of "life" now, if you could even call it that. But I have to pull through and not whip myself or asphyxiate myself or hang myself or stab myself or cut myself or flick the trigger of the gun on myself, cuz I hve a friend who would also give up without me. He's even worse than I am, he's got a bad life, no-one cuts him slack because of any of his mentalities, and we are currently the only lifelink to him, as well as the only friend to him and my other bestie. Without me, he has no-one. He won't survive. I have to sprint to keep up with Time, and it is taking a leisurely walk. If life is a rollercoaster, it threw me and him off, and we can only save each other, not ourselves. I know there'll be people who miss me, and people who'll miss him, so I hve to go on for his sake. Who am I to sever the only rope across the abyss for him? I don't have the authority. And besides, I still want to impress Laura.

[Hyper]

Because suicide goes against survival instincts in general anybody thinking of it is not in their ''right'' state of mind.

That's why we call mental illnesses... Ilnesses. They hamper our ability to function both pshycially and cognitively what might seem like a ''logical'' idea or ''way out'' at one point might be a terrifying prospect a few years down the line.

Not much more to say to your question.

[Wheatley]

I understand this is a very emotional subject for a lot of people. And, I'm not looking for someone to coddle me. And yes, I do believe in life after death, purely because I can't imagine being able to do nothing, nothingness is a strange concept.

Anyway, I am swinging between suicidal and non suicidal thoughts like normal. But, I am mostly interested in people's responses on the subject. Not that it's a pity me session, but, I have very few friends and none that I would really call a good friend, but I am very interested in understanding human behavior better, obviously other people have a better grasp then me because they get to learn first hand. So, yes, I might be apathetic. And, I am, a selfish person, but that's the norm where I live, everyone works for themselves. I have lots of qualities that I don't want (hence the fresh start theory)

Dragon Rider, although a sad situation for your friend, I'd love to have a friend who was reliant on me. And, personally, I would treasure that. I used to have a friend who everyone hated as well as me. It was great. Then he got popular and left me behind.

Please don't bring up natural instincts. Yes, I know the will to survive too well. But, that only goes so far. Being gay also goes against natural instinct. Yet there are many who are (including me) . Natural instincts also say that you should eat when you are hungry (I don't get that). Thus I don't really think that plays a big part.

See, the other problem is, what makes you happy? And what would you do with your life? Well, for me, that's a whole load of things that can get me locked up. So, even if things do go the way you want them to, how is being locked up better then death? (the whole revengy thing)

Thanks, and sorry for offending. I only mean to understand, not to hurt anyone

[Microcosm]

I agree with you. I have had thoughts about suicide in the past. I don't view it as bad.

I do think that instead of resorting to suicide, try looking at life from a different perspective. The beauty in the world is out there, you just have to find it. Find something that you enjoy doing(there has to be something), and just do that because it makes you at least a little happier than you were before. Try drawing or painting or singing or anything that helps you express yourself. Don't hold these thoughts in.

Hope I helped. Best of luck.