Happy Pills...

[maddogmj77]

Does anybody else not like taking depression pills? I used to take Abilify like 2 years ago when I went to an E.D. (Emotionally Disturbed) School, I had like "anger" issues, but mainly sadness issues that I got mad about. I stopped taking them, and I hide my depression which is about 100x worse now because I don't want them to make me take pills again. I always felt like if I took the pills, I wouldn't be sad anymore, but it just wouldn't be 'me' anymore. Like, it would just be a fake happy me. I'd rather be sad, than take the pills, be happy, but not be myself anymore. I don't know how to explain it, does anybody else feel like this?

[ksdnfkfr]

well actually the way i understand it, its the sad part of you that's fake so to speak. it's because of a chemical imbalance in your brain. the meds aren't supposed to make you happy, they're supposed to correct the imbalance that gives you false sadness.

[backjruton]

I was like that too I think. I don't want to be on any meds at all no matter how badly I might need them in some cases because I prefer being a twat and I prefer making people laugh but I fear if I take meds I'll be boring and like a freakin' robot. Never had it with happy pills, I don't understand at all why you might need them, but the idea of an emotionally disturbed school seems not only weird but fucked up too. I don't see the point in isolating you when surely it can only make your problems worse. I think they tried to give me "happy pills" or something (not sleeping pills) at bedtime because I somehow started crying in bed for no reason because of problems I had but that's one of the other things that stopped when I moved into a new bedroom. Now I have problems sleeping because I can't stop singing.

As Ezra said, the happy you is the real you, just the you that you're not used to. As long as all it did was make you happier I'd probably be OK with it, its behaviour modification I'm against the idea of. In other words, I've never had this problem because my parents know not to even go there... :rolleyes:

[maddogmj77]

I was like that too I think. I don't want to be on any meds at all no matter how badly I might need them in some cases because I prefer being a twat and I prefer making people laugh but I fear if I take meds I'll be boring and like a freakin' robot. Never had it with happy pills, I don't understand at all why you might need them, but the idea of an emotionally disturbed school seems not only weird but fucked up too. I don't see the point in isolating you when surely it can only make your problems worse. I think they tried to give me "happy pills" or something (not sleeping pills) at bedtime because I somehow started crying in bed for no reason because of problems I had but that's one of the other things that stopped when I moved into a new bedroom. Now I have problems sleeping because I can't stop singing.

As Ezra said, the happy you is the real you, just the you that you're not used to. As long as all it did was make you happier I'd probably be OK with it, its behaviour modification I'm against the idea of. In other words, I've never had this problem because my parents know not to even go there... :rolleyes:

Well, I do have a really long story about the school. Basically, I got got transferred to 5 different schools starting in 1st or 2nd grade ending in 3rd grade where I ended up in an emotionally disturbed school. They have people there that will just completely explode into anger or tears over the tiniest things. I stayed there for 3rd 4th 5th and 6th grade. I got a LOT worse when I went into that school that I never really belonged in. It made me feel like I was crazy, like I belonged there, I still do think this way.

Anyways, thanks for the responses. I still don't like taking them, even if they do just make everything the way its supposed to be.

[CosmicNoodle]

I am on meds right now, just Prozac, nothing interesting. But the side effects are, dizziness, feeling like your about to throw up, can't concentrate long enough to read a single sentence, and some simple visual halucinations (things twisting at impossible angles, logos spinning on the spot, random golden lights).

Tomorrow I am going back to my therapist to see if I can get switched because if I'm honest, Prozac's shit, I makes you feel like crap and I hate it.

[Dalcourt]

I used to take meds like you describe but not anymore...the side effects made me really ill, in addition my Dad suspects that they could make me want to take drugs for some reason, dunno...so basically I'm without meds now...it's not always easy when you are bipolar but it usually works fine for me and when I have bad times I have a therapist...talking to someone works better for me than taking meds/drugs...

[Jack russell dad]

I've never seen a therapist over my depression, or took meds. I just don't want a sob story, or anyone felling bad for me, plus i kind of stick to myself, and I'm extremely secretive. So, Your not the only 1

[Gigablue]

I do understand how you feel, but I don't really have the choice of not taking my medication. I first started with antidepressants about three years ago, and I would probably be dead right now if not for them. The effect was dramatic. I went from completely debilitated to only slightly impaired. There were some side effects, but nothing major.

About a year ago, I talked to my doctor about stopping them, mainly because of side effects, and because I didn't want to be taking medication forever. Biggest mistake ever. Within a few months I was basically dysfunctional. I'm back on medication now and I'm better than ever.

I don't know if I'll take it forever, but I definitely don't want to go off my medication any time soon. It may have a slight effect on my personality, but that's a small price to pay.

[Karkat]

well actually the way i understand it, its the sad part of you that's fake so to speak. it's because of a chemical imbalance in your brain. the meds aren't supposed to make you happy, they're supposed to correct the imbalance that gives you false sadness.

Exactly.

I do understand how you feel, but I don't really have the choice of not taking my medication. I first started with antidepressants about three years ago, and I would probably be dead right now if not for them. The effect was dramatic. I went from completely debilitated to only slightly impaired. There were some side effects, but nothing major.

About a year ago, I talked to my doctor about stopping them, mainly because of side effects, and because I didn't want to be taking medication forever. Biggest mistake ever. Within a few months I was basically dysfunctional. I'm back on medication now and I'm better than ever.

I don't know if I'll take it forever, but I definitely don't want to go off my medication any time soon. It may have a slight effect on my personality, but that's a small price to pay.

This is a lot how I am as well. I don't take anti-depressants, because that would be a terrible idea at this point in time, but I take an anticonvulsant/mood stabilizer. I have no choice. If I go off my medication, one of two things usually happen:

-I flip out over everything, make terrible choices, get OBSCENELY ANGRY, possibly even run away
-I'm flat as a lifeless pancake and I sleep all the time.

And honestly, my depressive symptoms are still terrible. I wish I was on an antidepressant, honestly. I feel faker when I'm manic or depressed than when I'm medicated. I function- no, THRIVE in the midrange. I don't need to think I'm god and dance to music that doesn't exist or lie around feeling like the world's going to end, or numb, or angry, or tearing myself limb from limb and writing awful poetry about my feelings. All of that emotion seems so cheesy and plastic. It's so stupid. I'd much rather be content and twerpy and dorky but not so deep than this...One-man broadway production written and preformed entirely by Tommy Wiseau. THAT is what I'm like off the medication. I may not be the most intelligent or most likeable or charming person on earth, but I'm 10x worse when I'm unmedicated. If that bullshit is "me"? I'd rather be liveable than "me".