how should I interact with my mom when she gets out of jail? What questions should I

[fmpro]

my mom will return from jail in June after serving a six month sentence for a financial crime and I am her 14 year old daughter. I am glad she is coming home but also isn't kind of weird now that now she is a criminal that went to jail and she will order me around? I mean isn't that kind of hypocritical (kind of funny as well since she was being ordered around for the past five months). Part of me wants to do something nice for her when she comes back but part of me doesn't. Anyone have any experience with this? I won't use it against her but I think I will definitely poke some fun at her about it


also, while I have visited her and talked to her on the phone, we talked about me usually. I am thinking of asking her some questions about what it is like to be inside. I wonder what I should ask


is it weird me and my younger brother who is 12 are acting casual about this right now. In the beginning when she was first arrested it was scary but now that she has been sentenced for six months, restitution has been payed and my mom isn't even going to lose her job or anything (though I hear
She is going to be watched and checked on for some time). Now we are calm and not scared at all . And we think it is kind of funny of course and can't help but poke some fun at her about it ( about things like being bossed around, wearing a uniform, the food) and she doesn't mind and is very self deprecating about all this.

[MercenaryMarksman]

Thats a tough situation you're in. The best thing to do is welcome her home and maybe have a talk with her about what happened or how much you missed her. I would only ask her questions about prison if she ok with it. She may be touchy. Sinc she's been inside awhile i suggest going out for dinner or maybe spend time outside because she's probably antsy to move around a bit. Take it slow and don't rush, thats the best thing for this situation in my opinion.

[DiamondsGirl]

First off, I'm gonna tell you from the start that I am having a bad day. Please do tell me if this has clouded my judgment. In my eyes right now, you are being annoyingly childish. So what if she's a "criminal" now? She is still your mother and she has every right to order you around. You, in the other hand, are fully obliged to listen to her. Nothing is hypocritical there. Her role as a mother in your family and her role as a part of society should not be lumped together.

Second off; about the jail questions. You are NOT to poke some fun with her. It's either your wording or my English, but I can not see anything good that will come out of that. Why would you even think of doing that? Why would you even think about asking her about the uniform, the food, etc? What is so funny about having your own mother sent to the prison? Am I misunderstanding something or are you being heavily immature right now? Your mom is probably shocked at the moment. Heck she probably did her financial crime to pay for your stuffs. Have a heart.

Lastly; about your brother. Learn from him, look up to him, embrace him tight. I believe that's what you need to do right now. Nothing has changed. She still works her job and is still your mom. Yes, she went to prison, but she's now out and it's a thing of the past. Should she need extra moral support, be there for her. Should she choose to not show her weakness in front of her children, let her. Adapt, be compassionate, move on.

[fmpro]

First off, I'm gonna tell you from the start that I am having a bad day. Please do tell me if this has clouded my judgment. In my eyes right now, you are being annoyingly childish. So what if she's a "criminal" now? She is still your mother and she has every right to order you around. You, in the other hand, are fully obliged to listen to her. Nothing is hypocritical there. Her role as a mother in your family and her role as a part of society should not be lumped together.

Second off; about the jail questions. You are NOT to poke some fun with her. It's either your wording or my English, but I can not see anything good that will come out of that. Why would you even think of doing that? Why would you even think about asking her about the uniform, the food, etc? What is so funny about having your own mother sent to the prison? Am I misunderstanding something or are you being heavily immature right now? Your mom is probably shocked at the moment. Heck she probably did her financial crime to pay for your stuffs. Have a heart.

Lastly; about your brother. Learn from him, look up to him, embrace him tight. I believe that's what you need to do right now. Nothing has changed. She still works her job and is still your mom. Yes, she went to prison, but she's now out and it's a thing of the past. Should she need extra moral support, be there for her. Should she choose to not show her weakness in front of her children, let her. Adapt, be compassionate, move on.





Remember I said I am not going to use it against her. I just wondered what people thought of the idea of it being hypocritical. Also I've been encouraged to ask questions so I am not sure what's wrong with that

[DiamondsGirl]

Remember I said I am not going to use it against her. I just wondered what people thought of the idea of it being hypocritical. Also I've been encouraged to ask questions so I am not sure what's wrong with that

It's my English then. It is the phrase "poke some fun" that made me flip out. Apparently it doesn't always mean what I think it means? I still don't know how you're gonna poke some fun at someone without using it against them, but that's my problem. Thank you for clarifying that. Regarding the questions, well you seem to already have a good list of it. Go ask them all if that's how it works over there.

Regarding the hypocritical thing, I'm gonna stick with my bitter comment. I don't see why would you need to see this as something hypocritical. Is it logical? Yes. Is it applicable? No.

[NeuroTiger]

Organize something between yourselves on the day of her return. It should be a surprise though.
You need to help her gain the required confidence back...she'll obviously need a fresh start ;)

[Dalcourt]

My Dad has been to jail a couple of times...I was usually always happy when he came back. We did some little welcoming party for him making his favorite foods and stuff and sometimes we talked a bit about how's it had been...after a few days family life was back to normal and nobody mentioned the whole episode that much. I know that your situation is quite different from mine, but maybe it was still a bit helpful.

[backjruton]

Well... I don't think I'd be able to look at one of my parents the same after they'd been inside. I really don't understand this with parents ordering their kids to do stuff; my parents have never been like that with me and my brother, so there's not really much I my tired self can say. I myself personally would "poke some fun", my parents would find it weird if I didn't and ask what's wrong with me which I get asked enough :lol: I would be scared about any crime and especially financial as my mum is unfortunately the keeper of my debit/credit card and has the access to all the other family members bank accounts XD I don't know much as I haven't experienced this, and I hope I don't because my anxiety issues are bad enough and strange enough already..