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View Full Version : Soooo tired of being confused...


ryan_
April 29th, 2014, 12:30 AM
Sorry if this doesn't make much sense, It's probably just be a bunch of rambling and ranting...

okay, so these thoughts have really been making me down and depressed lately .

*sat here for a while trying to figure out where to start lol*

I don't think this has anything to do with going through puberty because i'm turning 20 later this year but anyways...
I am emotionally attracted to girls, for sure. But I find it hard to be sexually attracted to them. Like, I could watch straight or lesbian porn, and MAYBE, 1 or 2 out of 10 times I will be aroused by it, but for the most part it does nothing for me. Don't get me wrong, when I see a naked woman, it doesn't gross me out, it looks normal to me, so that makes me think i'm not gay.

But... that whole situation is opposite for how i feel about guys. I am way more attracted to males sexually, but I am only mildly emotionally attracted to them, and i feel like a relationship with a guy would just be a little weird to me. And when i'm horny or something, I will always go to gay porn. Also, I am very picky about guys that I find attractive, they have to look a certain way (probably due to a lack of emotional feelings), where when it comes to woman, i'm a lot more laid back, and feel like there are a lot of different looks on a girl that are attractive to me.

Now... another dilemma. I'm a virgin so I don't know for sure, like i'm talking to a girl right now, and i like her, but i'm absolutely terrified that when i go to have sex with her, i won't be able to be turned on even though I really like her, maybe by the time that happens i will be in love with her, who knows (IF it ever happens).

Anyways, my main concern is that i've been thinking more and more about this everyday, and i've been getting more and more confused/frustrated/and upset.
And lately I don't even feel the need to try and talk to people, or carry a conversation. I'm a lot more quieter than I used to be. And my sex drive has absolutely plummeted, about a couple of months ago I would probably masturbated at least 0-2 times a day, now it's very rare, and i find it harder to do, and i think it's because i'm ashamed, but i can't be too sure.

I would really appreciate to hear what you think.
I just want the confusion to go away. When I picture myself happy in life, I picture myself with a beautiful wife, and 2 kids. But how come I can't get more sexually excited for woman! it's so frustrating...

This whole thing is probably incomprehensible, and annoying, and seems stupid to all of you, but writing this out I feel was the best way to figure it out. It finally had to be done, and dealt with. I know I was all over the map with this post, but again, I would love a little advice right now. thank you :)

ibramazin
April 29th, 2014, 01:38 AM
Wow!! Am 15 and i also feel thesame way ... I just think you should reduce the "gay-ish" thoughts nd "gay" porn and focus more on girls,girls and girls. I dunno, it may help...

NeuroTiger
April 29th, 2014, 03:30 AM
Wow!! Am 15 and i also feel thesame way ... I just think you should reduce the "gay-ish" thoughts nd "gay" porn and focus more on girls,girls and girls. I dunno, it may help...

I'll advise same...
The brain is what controls everything...;)

Lovelife090994
April 29th, 2014, 03:45 AM
Ih God you are me to the periods! This is scary. My advice you may not like. Take it slow, enjoy life for what it is now, focus on your goals, and the rest will fall into place. I'll be praying for your confusion to ease. Confusion can be very annoying if not mentally painful because everything becomes a "what if", or "maybe" and ultimately, "I don't know. I'm so confused." I try not worry on it. I am gray-sexual really. My sexuality doesn't align to any labels.

Living For Love
April 29th, 2014, 10:14 AM
Puberty For Boys :arrow2: Teen Sexuality And Gender.

I think that as soon as you get a girlfriend you're attraction for women will rise. You're judging yourself only by porn, which isn't really accurate. And it's possible to have a normal relationship without sex at all, I mean, love is what matters, right? Sex is only something more, it's not what your relationship should be based on.

Menzis
April 29th, 2014, 05:10 PM
You're straight believe me.. if you have no emotional feelings for a guy.. You control your mind so you just have to focus on girls and find something that really turns you on when you see a female.
I'd suggest you'd experiment with girls.. and just let the girl try to make you hard if you know what I mean ;)
Good luck, and keep me updated :D!

beenthere
April 30th, 2014, 07:11 PM
I've definitely been there, I am about the same as you, and the porn thing does not really help. it can make you feel more insecure when you are with a girl. I experimented a lot when I was young, but later started to date girls. I was terrified as well when I started with girls, but don't worry, once you start kissing, you will be fine. what matters most is your emotional attachment. If you don't have it for guys, then the right girl will find you and you will be fine. it will be awkward at first, but that is just nerves. Like I said once you kiss, instincts will take over.