Advice!!! What do i do next???

[Matt_97]

Appologies if this turns out to be a long story: Well where do i start, well there's this guy at college that i like. He's not in any of my classes, but he's in one of my friends classes and he's friends with her. But anyways i saw him around college on the odd occassion and he'd smile at me. It didn't start of as anything major, i started sorta started to develop a crush on him.

Anyways about a month ago i found him on facebook, and added him, as he clearly had an indication of who i was. So anyways he hasn't accepted it as of yet. But anyways a couple of weeks went by and i sent him a really casual message of "Hey..... Sorry if this seems out of the blue or out of place but... Do i know you? I know i added you but you popped up in my 'People you may know' section -strange given the number of mutual friends- and you've just got such a recognisable face. I'm sure i do know you from somewhere but i'm just having trouble figuring out where from :/". Obviously i did know fine well where i knew him from, i just wanted a casual way of kickstarting a conversation.

So 4 weeks have been and gone and no reply. The read receipt says he hasn't seen it. And it's getting really strange because i've seen him around college so much more now since i sent it. But it looks like he wants to come over and talk to me he just doesn't have that little push in him. And this bring me onto today... Well i skipped my second half of English Literature (2 and a half hours i think not, faked a migraine and asked to study independently) and i went to the study area. Well i passed him on the stairs, and just carried on. But he came up a few minutes after and went on one of the computers. Anyways after a few walk pasts i went back down stairs to buy a cookie but Costa was closed. I went back up stairs in the lift that i knew he could see me get out of. I came up to the floor and walked out of the lift and he just started at me dead in the eyes, it wasn't one of those dirty looks but one that just made him look soooo cute!!!

But here's my dilemma what do i do now?? Do i message him again? (And if so say what?) Do i play the waiting game? (either for him to talk to me in person or resond to my message?) Do i go and speak to him in person? Or do i just give up on a lost cause? :/ I don't want to give up on him but i can't handle how much it's hurting me :( please any advice would be much appreciated :D

[Pensive]

I think the first thing to do is talk to your friend!

She can find out for a start if he is even bi or gay - if so get her to 'set you up' as her two gay friends. Therefore she takes responsibility for the awkwardness if it doesn't work out, and less risk for you being rejected outright.

Hope it works out for you man!

[Matt_97]

I think the first thing to do is talk to your friend!

She can find out for a start if he is even bi or gay - if so get her to 'set you up' as her two gay friends. Therefore she takes responsibility for the awkwardness if it doesn't work out, and less risk for you being rejected outright.

Hope it works out for you man!

Yeah i forgot to mention he is gay!! Pretty huge point that i really shouldn't have forgot about but hey ho! Thanks for the advice :)

[Body odah Man]

Appologies if this turns out to be a long story: Well where do i start, well there's this guy at college that i like. He's not in any of my classes, but he's in one of my friends classes and he's friends with her. But anyways i saw him around college on the odd occassion and he'd smile at me. It didn't start of as anything major, i started sorta started to develop a crush on him.

Anyways about a month ago i found him on facebook, and added him, as he clearly had an indication of who i was. So anyways he hasn't accepted it as of yet. But anyways a couple of weeks went by and i sent him a really casual message of "Hey..... Sorry if this seems out of the blue or out of place but... Do i know you? I know i added you but you popped up in my 'People you may know' section -strange given the number of mutual friends- and you've just got such a recognisable face. I'm sure i do know you from somewhere but i'm just having trouble figuring out where from :/". Obviously i did know fine well where i knew him from, i just wanted a casual way of kickstarting a conversation.

So 4 weeks have been and gone and no reply. The read receipt says he hasn't seen it. And it's getting really strange because i've seen him around college so much more now since i sent it. But it looks like he wants to come over and talk to me he just doesn't have that little push in him. And this bring me onto today... Well i skipped my second half of English Literature (2 and a half hours i think not, faked a migraine and asked to study independently) and i went to the study area. Well i passed him on the stairs, and just carried on. But he came up a few minutes after and went on one of the computers. Anyways after a few walk pasts i went back down stairs to buy a cookie but Costa was closed. I went back up stairs in the lift that i knew he could see me get out of. I came up to the floor and walked out of the lift and he just started at me dead in the eyes, it wasn't one of those dirty looks but one that just made him look soooo cute!!!

But here's my dilemma what do i do now?? Do i message him again? (And if so say what?) Do i play the waiting game? (either for him to talk to me in person or resond to my message?) Do i go and speak to him in person? Or do i just give up on a lost cause? :/ I don't want to give up on him but i can't handle how much it's hurting me :( please any advice would be much appreciated :D

I think you have to talk to him IRL instead of messaging him. He clearly doesn't have the balls to do so and if you wait too long nothing will happen. Good luck ;)

[Matt_97]

I think you have to talk to him IRL instead of messaging him. He clearly doesn't have the balls to do so and if you wait too long nothing will happen. Good luck ;)

Yeah i'd need to get him alone in college.. But i wouldn't have a clue what to say... I would hope that being spontaneous would work but i'd probably mess up after looking it his gorgeous eyes again :/ Thank you for the advice :)

[Pensive]

But dating is all about risk isn't it? You just have to man up and do it! Or hang out with the same friends to get talking (:

[Matt_97]

But dating is all about risk isn't it? You just have to man up and do it! Or hang out with the same friends to get talking (:

But do which, in person, over message? And what do i say? "Oh uum... Hi... Errr... Umm.. You're cute" *runs and hides vending machine* - i promise that wasn't supposed to sound sarcastic or in spite! Its just who i am, if i don't know what i'm gonna say i'll just freeze up and it won't be pretty :( i'm hopeless

[Pensive]

Do it in person, if you can hang with his friends the convo will be normal and get you comfortable. If that's not possible then go and ask if he wants to hang out with you - or your group of friends if you don't feel confident.

If you're worried about looking like a nervous fool - he'd probably find shyness cute! I know I do in a partner in these situations.

Alternatively you could just start flirting and winking when you lock eyes

[Matt_97]

Do it in person, if you can hang with his friends the convo will be normal and get you comfortable. If that's not possible then go and ask if he wants to hang out with you - or your group of friends if you don't feel confident.

If you're worried about looking like a nervous fool - he'd probably find shyness cute! I know I do in a partner in these situations.

Alternatively you could just start flirting and winking when you lock eyes

The friend thing isn't really that possible, it could work maybe depending on the day and whose around him and his friends, like some of my friend are friends with his friends (if you catch my drift) so it may work!! If not i don't know maybe i could get him alone by the lift (elevator for all you american folk on here), i'd feel confident to be by myself with him like getting a coffee or something but it's just starting that up, like how do i ask and how do i start up the conversation in the first place like do i go for the "hey, you're friends with..." Or do i go for "oh hey, i've noticed you around a bit.." Or something different ? :( i just need a good enough 'pick up line' (if you wanna call it that) to start the conversation off!! I like the winking thing :D

[Living For Love]

First of all, forget the Facebook message thing and friendship invitations, that's just not going to work. I think it would be a bit awkward if you just approached him and said something like: "Hi! We have mutual friends, you know? How are you?", because that's just starting something out of the blue, it wouldn't make much sense. Anyway, I think it would be better if you just approached him on an occasion where you, him and some of your mutual friends were all together, it would make it seem much more natural, if you know what I mean. And if you're sure he's gay, that would make things easier, but don't start getting too flirty right when you start talking with him, make sure you're friends with him first, and then things can develop from there.

[Matt_97]

First of all, forget the Facebook message thing and friendship invitations, that's just not going to work. I think it would be a bit awkward if you just approached him and said something like: "Hi! We have mutual friends, you know? How are you?", because that's just starting something out of the blue, it wouldn't make much sense. Anyway, I think it would be better if you just approached him on an occasion where you, him and some of your mutual friends were all together, it would make it seem much more natural, if you know what I mean. And if you're sure he's gay, that would make things easier, but don't start getting too flirty right when you start talking with him, make sure you're friends with him first, and then things can develop from there.

That was only ever out of convience at the time (i sent the message at the start of a two week holiday, so i knew i wouldn't see him for that long) :/ i know what you mean :) it rarely happens but it might just! :( yeah i'm pretty certain ;) yeah i know what you mean :) thanks :D

[Pensive]

Drop me a message and let me know how it all goes (: Good luck

[Matt_97]

Okay so i haven't spoken to him yet. But anyways i've got a plan of what i'm gonna do... Well at least a rough idea. I'll probably back down at the last minute. But if i do have the confidence and it goes well i'll tell all but at the minute i thought i'd just update you to day i've kinda made my mind up. But any further advice from anybody would be greatly appreciated.

[Body odah Man]

Yeah i'd need to get him alone in college.. But i wouldn't have a clue what to say... I would hope that being spontaneous would work but i'd probably mess up after looking it his gorgeous eyes again :/ Thank you for the advice :)

Good luck man. I'm rooting for ya