Well, I Attempted It.

[Rabiid]

Look at my last post if you want to know the thing that happened that was leading up to this.

Well, Like i said in the title, I attempted it. Suicide. What was i thinking?
After all of my time in getting treatment for my injuries and all my friends gone, and failing school and just general bullying i felt like there was not much left for me, i felt empty inside. It was the worst feeling ever, I just felt like i was punished for something, i don't even know what.

I just wasn't thinking after one of my hospital visits for my ankles. I came home and my dad was out like usual. I had my pain medicine i had to take 4 times daily and i just looked at myself in the mirror and i remember thinking that my life meant nothing anymore, so i just took the pills.

My sister ended up coming home with her boyfriend and she called out to me, she told me i didn't respond so her boyfriend forced the door open and found me on the ground, unresponsive. I had been lying on the ground for 4 hours.
I woke up yesterday and i had my stomach pumped and some other stuff done to me at the hospital where i was first taken after my accident.

The worst part is my father, couldn't even find the time to visit me. He was to busy drinking to visit his son who had just attempted suicide. I'm lucky to have my sister with me, she saved my life. As far as i'm concerned she is my only family and i am so thank full that she is around.

[Darth Vader]

That's tough, you have my sympathies.

[Living For Love]

I read your other thread, and I'm so sorry for what happened to you. I believe that if you didn't die in that accident, it was for a reason, and I know it's tough but you just have to keep going. It's like you were given one more chance to live. And you're not being punished, you're just going through a harsh time, but it will end. Just hang in there, think about your sister, who saved your life, think about the good things in your life, your future, your career, your plans in general. Be strong, ok? We're here to help you.

[Rabiid]

Thank you for everything guys, I really like this community here, with all the people and their kind words. Thanks again!

[nino51300]

Dance In The Dark made a really good point. I'm not religious, but whatever power may be controlling us knows you deserve a chance. Losing those friends can be tough, I understand. You'll get through it and you will be stronger then ever. I'm sure of that much.

If you ever need to talk, never hesitate to message me. I'm here to help

[Rabiid]

Dance In The Dark made a really good point. I'm not religious, but whatever power may be controlling us knows you deserve a chance. Losing those friends can be tough, I understand. You'll get through it and you will be stronger then ever. I'm sure of that much.

If you ever need to talk, never hesitate to message me. I'm here to help

Thank You, I might do that at some point.

[nino51300]

Seriously... If you ever need anything... I dint care if its 2am my time.

I'm speaking for everyone here, any of us would be more then willing to talk to you and/or help.

[Rabiid]

Seriously... If you ever need anything... I dint care if its 2am my time.

I'm speaking for everyone here, any of us would be more then willing to talk to you and/or help.

Really means alot man, If i ever need to talk to someone you will be my first guy to find.

[nino51300]

No problem, any time (:

[Rabiid]

No problem, any time (:

Also, Thanks for the pm, I will do that if i need it!

[xXoblivionXx]

Hey Ryan, I'm really sorry to hear what you went through. I'm glad you are still alive, it gets better eventually. Your sister sounds like a nice person, it's good to have someone close that you can talk to. Did you end up going to a rehab/psych ward? I also have attempted auicide in the past. If you ever want to talk about anything just PM me. I hope you feel better soon :hug:

[Rabiid]

Hey Ryan, I'm really sorry to hear what you went through. I'm glad you are still alive, it gets better eventually. Your sister sounds like a nice person, it's good to have someone close that you can talk to. Did you end up going to a rehab/psych ward? I also have attempted auicide in the past. If you ever want to talk about anything just PM me. I hope you feel better soon :hug:

Hey xYz, I only just got out of hospital yesterday, while i was in there i had someone next to me 24/7 so i didn't attempt something, i didn't need a person there because i knew what i did was wrong, it hurt the only two people who cares: my sister and her boyfriend. I still haven't heard from my father at all, i don't even really know where he is.

The doctors diagnosed me with severe depression and i'm on these pills for a few months. Nothing further than a few tests on me happened, so no rehab programs or anything like that.

I just have to remember now that life can only go up, I don't know what my plans with school are now or anything. all i know is that i need some time to decide about my education.

Thanks for leaving a comment, means alot man.

[Thatcarguy]

Hey man youre in a tough situation for sure sorry for youre friends man i feel for you, and ass for what happened recently remember that you survived for a reason and your sisters boyfriend found you for a reason just remember that there will be people here and around you that you will be there too help you. Just try to get past it and when you get older you will be like wow i was such an idiot because living life is awesome. I cant pm yet but as soon as i could ill send u a pm with my email so u can hit me up any time man

[Rabiid]

Hey man youre in a tough situation for sure sorry for youre friends man i feel for you, and ass for what happened recently remember that you survived for a reason and your sisters boyfriend found you for a reason just remember that there will be people here and around you that you will be there too help you. Just try to get past it and when you get older you will be like wow i was such an idiot because living life is awesome. I cant pm yet but as soon as i could ill send u a pm with my email so u can hit me up any time man

Thank you for the support man :)

[jacob360]

Listen man, I'm extremely sorry that you are going through this. I feel bad for you that your dad did not even come to visit you. Thank god for your sister and her boyfriend. They generally care about you. God saved you for a reason. He wants you here. You'll do something great. I know it. I'm so sorry for the loss of your friends as well. Listen, despite the fact I don't know you, if you need to talk I am always here. No matter what time it is.

[Rabiid]

Listen man, I'm extremely sorry that you are going through this. I feel bad for you that your dad did not even come to visit you. Thank god for your sister and her boyfriend. They generally care about you. God saved you for a reason. He wants you here. You'll do something great. I know it. I'm so sorry for the loss of your friends as well. Listen, despite the fact I don't know you, if you need to talk I am always here. No matter what time it is.

Thanks for you kindness. :)

[xXoblivionXx]

Hey xYz, I only just got out of hospital yesterday, while i was in there i had someone next to me 24/7 so i didn't attempt something, i didn't need a person there because i knew what i did was wrong, it hurt the only two people who cares: my sister and her boyfriend. I still haven't heard from my father at all, i don't even really know where he is.

The doctors diagnosed me with severe depression and i'm on these pills for a few months. Nothing further than a few tests on me happened, so no rehab programs or anything like that.

I just have to remember now that life can only go up, I don't know what my plans with school are now or anything. all i know is that i need some time to decide about my education.

Thanks for leaving a comment, means alot man.

Yeah, I had someone in my room at the ER too. I guess it's protocol. The meds helped me get stabilized, I was on zoloft. How old are you by the way? I'm 16 almost 17. Yeah, it wasn't until after my attempt that i realized how much my family caress about me. I'm glad you have your sis and her boyfriend. and no problem, I like trying to help people. I understand how hard life can get at times.

[Rabiid]

Yeah, I had someone in my room at the ER too. I guess it's protocol. The meds helped me get stabilized, I was on zoloft. How old are you by the way? I'm 16 almost 17. Yeah, it wasn't until after my attempt that i realized how much my family caress about me. I'm glad you have your sis and her boyfriend. and no problem, I like trying to help people. I understand how hard life can get at times.

Yeah, I'm Turning 18 in August this year, To be honest i'm thankfull that i'm still here. My Sister And her boyfriend are letting me stay with them instead of the house where it happened which is a good thing considering my dad isn't around. What sucks is that i have to make a call to this lady called Jade every two hours to fill her in where i am, Its like a suicide watch thing.

[Dalcourt]

I've read your other thread and the only thing I can tell you is how sorry I am for your loss...but as it was already said everything happens for a reason, and it's good you are still here...
Even if it looks bad sometimes, there's still good stuff waiting out there for you...

[Rabiid]

I've read your other thread and the only thing I can tell you is how sorry I am for your loss...but as it was already said everything happens for a reason, and it's good you are still here...
Even if it looks bad sometimes, there's still good stuff waiting out there for you...

Yeah, Ive been thinking, I have been injured in the car crash, lost my only friends, attempted suicide and am not talking to my dad.

It can only go up from here right? :)


Anyway, Thanks for the support

[Dalcourt]

Yeah, Ive been thinking, I have been injured in the car crash, lost my only friends, attempted suicide and am not talking to my dad.

It can only go up from here right? :)


Anyway, Thanks for the support

Yeah, well I don't think that it could get much worse, could it.
I guess you are at a point now, where you can give your life a complete restart...

[Rabiid]

Yeah, well I don't think that it could get much worse, could it.
I guess you are at a point now, where you can give your life a complete restart...

Exactly my thinking.

thank you :)

[Dibmelendez]

I know it's hard, but sometimes it's best to get a fresh start in life, I've learned this threw the experience of wanting to die everyday after I lost a friend I loved became suicide, the reason I didn't do it is because she also loss a friend the same way, and when she died many more did the same, if you do so not only does it hurt those who care, even if you don't see them, but it causes a ripple effect on many more and puts in there head that it's a solution, but sometimes the solution requires us to do what we once thought was the impossible, and only the best when we beat the odds will we see that there is more to life than we thought when we were down.

[danny16_]

Words cant describe how I feel right now
:,( ik how that feels like to have a dad drinking.
I attempted when I was very , very young and I didn't see him come at all.

[RavleIncarnate]

Kudos, Ryan.

[Rabiid]

Thank you guys :)

Means so much to me!

[Rabiid]

Update for those who care.

My father yesterday came and found me for the first time in 3 months and told me that i wasn't good enough for him and that i should of died in the car crash because he never wanted a son and he felt that it was his "duty" to look after me until i was old enough to leave.

He told me that he doesn't want me to be apart of his family and not to contact him anymore or any of my family or he will take matters into his own hands and "make sure" i don't.

I cant make any new friends because there is never the connection i had with my best mates who i considered brothers. I just feel empty so here i am again, back here because i have literally no one to talk to.

[Karkat]

Update for those who care.

My father yesterday came and found me for the first time in 3 months and told me that i wasn't good enough for him and that i should of died in the car crash because he never wanted a son and he felt that it was his "duty" to look after me until i was old enough to leave.

He told me that he doesn't want me to be apart of his family and not to contact him anymore or any of my family or he will take matters into his own hands and "make sure" i don't.

I cant make any new friends because there is never the connection i had with my best mates who i considered brothers. I just feel empty so here i am again, back here because i have literally no one to talk to.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. :( You're better off from what I can tell though- if someone is so cold that they can't visit you in the hospital after you nearly died, they don't deserve to be a part of your life anyways. Not when they had the choice, and they're supposed to be such a big part of your life, anyways.

I hope things start to look up for you soon.

[Rabiid]

I'm so sorry you're going through this. :( You're better off from what I can tell though- if someone is so cold that they can't visit you in the hospital after you nearly died, they don't deserve to be a part of your life anyways. Not when they had the choice, and they're supposed to be such a big part of your life, anyways.

I hope things start to look up for you soon.
Thanks for the support, I'm just living life day by day, Just having to put up with the feeling of something missing in my life.

Anyway, Thanks again for the support.

[Karkat]

Thanks for the support, I'm just living life day by day, Just having to put up with the feeling of something missing in my life.

Anyway, Thanks again for the support.

Hah, being somewhat estranged from my dad (and within the next year, the rest of my family too, I'm sure), I know how this goes to some extent...But I can't imagine, honestly, what you're going through.

You're absolutely welcome. Anytime. :)

[Rabiid]

Hah, being somewhat estranged from my dad (and within the next year, the rest of my family too, I'm sure), I know how this goes to some extent...But I can't imagine, honestly, what you're going through.

You're absolutely welcome. Anytime. :)

Well, It certainly sounds like you understand at least some of what im going through due to a similar family situation. Again, Thanks, It means alot.