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View Full Version : How do you move on from an ex-friendship?


crowdlost
April 27th, 2014, 10:51 AM
This guy and I have been best friends for 5 years, we live 2 minutes away from each other, used to have constant sleepovers and basically hung out 24/7.

Things drastically changed this year. He RARELY asks me to hang out, and everytime I call him or stop by his place he's on his way to hang out with this other guy. This has been going on for way too long that now I'm just at the place where I really don't want him in my life anymore.

This hurt me so much more than anything else in my life. I've had relationships with girlfriends that I didn't find that hard to get over, but for some reason this just pains me a lot. I'm depressed, always waiting for him to call me recently or just to miss me. Eventually, he does call after I decide not to initiate for 2 weeks. And while we do hang out maybe twice or three times a month now, our "alone time" have decreased to almost zero.

I love to feel needed by him, like when he's having problems with his girlfriend and he comes to me for help. I try to convince myself that he just doesn't have any problems lately and that's why he hasn't been trying to contact me a lot. But then I say to myself, "So am I just the guy he talks to when he needs support and nothing else?" Why can't I also be the guy he has fun with, like it used to be last summer?

It's even harder for me to completely cut him out of my life because his sister and mother mean a lot to me (his dad died 2 years ago, and I became even closer to the family since then) and when I try to control myself from talking to him or going over to his house, his sister calls every now and then and tells me to stop by or just to hang out. So I find myself there, at his house, forced to see him when all I wanted was to be away from him...at least until he WANTS me to come over.

I know that "people move on and find other friends and life goes forward", but I can't see that "light at the end of the tunnel" just yet. So how did you guys do it? How did you move on from someone you used to call your "best friend"? Thanks for any help!

centropede
April 27th, 2014, 03:03 PM
Ask him, why he doesnt talk to you or hang out so much anymore :/
I know this feeling, it hurts. I had a friend , best-friend for like 11 or 13 years. Since we were babies, till like....some years ago. I was friends with him, his family. Then i just got depressed (mostly because i realised im gay and i will live forever alone), its not his fault, its my fault. But i somehow got over it pretty fast.
Then there was another my friend we were best friends. We said that we are best friends. Then another day i asked him who is his best friend and he didn say my name, he said another boys name. It was like knive in my heart. Now we are just friends. Well, now i have no best friends.

Talk to him, looks like he was really really good friend. Say that it hurts you. Maybe you three could be really good friends? Ask him to introduce you with him. But who know maby that other guy is more than best friend? You really should talk to him, you live only 2 mins from him. Just before you talk with him plan what you are going to say.

At least you will be clear about what is going on :)

DiamondsGirl
April 27th, 2014, 10:14 PM
I agree with centropede. There must be a reason why he's walking away from you. In the meantime, try to distract yourself from this whole situation. It could only hurt you more. Hang out with some other group, maybe?

Menzis
April 28th, 2014, 03:12 PM
I've walked away from many friends, different reasons, some where a bad influence (drugs users) Some I just lost contact with. Now I find myself in a position where I don't have any friends and i'm desperate for one. Try a little longer to hold on your friend.. theres always a reason why someone doesn't want to hang out anymore..