is this a bad mindset to have?

[Babs]

I relapsed tonight but I feel so in control. this time last year I struggled so hard with quitting, but now I just feel breezy about self harm. I feel in control, like I could easily quit if I wanted to but I keep going because I want to. I think I went about a month so easily before tonight. I don't know. I feel strange. is this a bad mindset?

[Desuetude]

You need to stop. I know exactly how you feel. You've been trying so hard to stop self harm taking over your life that everything feels out of balance and when it happens again things calm down. However it's not going to stay like that. You need for things to become out of balance again because that's the only way you'll get out of the cycle. You're not in control, that's always a lie. What will happen next time? You'll turn back to self harm without 2 seconds thought. And the time after that and so on and before you know it you're fucked.

Well that was kind of a rant to myself as well as you I hope you don't mind but yes, this is an extremely bad mindset to have. You know the struggle it become last time you tried to quit and you know that you managed it for a while so you can do it again. Set a date to reach, maybe a couple of weeks? When you get there reward yourself with something. Maybe going to the cinema or buy yourself a CD, anything that will make you realise that you've done well and will encourage you to go the next few weeks where something similar will happen. That's just one strategy but look around and there are lots of others. You're in control without self harm. You don't need it.