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SnowAngels
April 25th, 2014, 08:21 PM
Hi! Sorry this might be long. :P

Ok, so I like 3 guys. Let's say their names are Jacob, Max, and Alex.

So I have liked Jacob for the longest. Ever since he came to my school in 5th grade, I have liked him. He is a flirt and dates girls all the time. He has lots of girls that are his friends.
Through the many girls he has dated, he has always seemed to have a small interest in me. Even when he was in a relationship, he would flirt with me and look at me all the time. He would look at me when he told a joke, making sure I laughed or something.
He has texted my friend before and told her that he thought I was pretty, but my friend refused to disclose anything else about the conversation, my other friend suspects she is jealous and likes him too.

Ok, the second guy, Alex, I have liked the second longest. He is also a flirt and lots of girls like him, but he has never dated a girl before to my knowledge. Another friend of mine told me that he told her that he liked me.
I was really excited but too shy to make a move. It's been almost 5 months and neither of us have really made a move. He looks at me a lot and finds ways to talk to me, and he is crazy adorable, but I have always been intimidated of him because of how many girls hang on him and flirt with him.

And lastly, there is Max. Max is the hottest of them all. He is a bit weird, but he is very very handsome.
He looks at me a lot as well, and he likes to touch me or my stuff. He'll get up to sharpen his pencil and touch the back of my hair, or he'll touch my backpack. He is a little rude to almost all of the girls in my school except me and his ex, who he is still friends with. He likes to get my invade my personal space. He also sits by me sometimes.

So, Alex and Max are best friends. As horrible as it is, I like them both.

Recently though, I had an issue with my best friend and her boyfriend because he was a racist. It tore away at our relationship and we aren't as close as we used to be. If they both like me, I would hate to be the reason that they dislike each other, because I can only date one at a time.

I already have enough friend drama as it is, so maybe I shouldn't be pursuing any guys right now. What do you guys think? Am I crazy for liking two people who are best friends?

~ Thanks for your time, I tend to ramble when trying to explain something so it is "more clear" ;)

~~ Snow

Synyster Shadows
April 25th, 2014, 08:43 PM
I personally think it's best to stick to one crush at a time. Make a list that compares all of their pros and cons and think about it. Then think about who would make you the happiest were you to become their girlfriend. Hope this helps. Good luck

Oh and welcome to VT

SnowAngels
April 25th, 2014, 08:53 PM
I personally think it's best to stick to one crush at a time. Make a list that compares all of their pros and cons and think about it. Then think about who would make you the happiest were you to become their girlfriend. Hope this helps. Good luck

Oh and welcome to VT

Thank for the help, honestly I agree with you, one crush is enough. My heart has different plans than my brain does :P

Though, when I was younger I liked one guy for 3 years and when I finally got over him, he liked me. Maybe my heart doesn't want that limitation? I don't know.. xD

Thanks, I love it here already. I love giving it advice to others, my friends always tell me I'm good at it. None of them could give me advice about my problem, that's why I came here :)

Synyster Shadows
April 25th, 2014, 08:57 PM
Thank for the help, honestly I agree with you, one crush is enough. My heart has different plans than my brain does :P

Though, when I was younger I liked one guy for 3 years and when I finally got over him, he liked me. Maybe my heart doesn't want that limitation? I don't know.. xD

Thanks, I love it here already. I love giving it advice to others, my friends always tell me I'm good at it. None of them could give me advice about my problem, that's why I came here :)

Oh god that happened to me once, although the results weren't pretty :/

But yeah. Stick to one crush or things are probably gonna get really complicated. I've been there, done that. Had tons of crushes before meeting my current girlfriend.

Yeah vt is good for that. I had the same problem when I joined last year - crush confusion. Lots of people do xD

DiamondsGirl
April 25th, 2014, 09:29 PM
Errr... do you want a nice-sounding but dishonest advice or a harsh-sounding but honest advice?

First option: Surely there's one guy you really love. There's a difference between love and adore. Think about it carefully. Like Synyster has said, make a list of pros and cons hopefully that would help.

Second option: Ditch them all. Seriously. IMO it's not real love if it's more than one. I think you're just feeling flattered because these guys kept looking at you and stuff. Loving two at the same time is one thing, but when it's three it's really out of hand. I don't believe it's love no more =\

SnowAngels
April 26th, 2014, 06:32 AM
Errr... do you want a nice-sounding but dishonest advice or a harsh-sounding but honest advice?

First option: Surely there's one guy you really love. There's a difference between love and adore. Think about it carefully. Like Synyster has said, make a list of pros and cons hopefully that would help.

Second option: Ditch them all. Seriously. IMO it's not real love if it's more than one. I think you're just feeling flattered because these guys kept looking at you and stuff. Loving two at the same time is one thing, but when it's three it's really out of hand. I don't believe it's love no more =\

To be honest, I don't really "love" any of them. We are all in Highschool and love doesn't really exist there... xD

As much as I like your second option, I can't do that. I've tried over and over and over again, but it just doesn't work. I can build up the walls that block me from them but when they flirt with me the walls come tumbling down again. My heart has this weird way of getting over people and it doesn't happen until I truely want to date someone else, or it just happens out of the blue. :(

~~ Snow

Oh god that happened to me once, although the results weren't pretty :/

But yeah. Stick to one crush or things are probably gonna get really complicated. I've been there, done that. Had tons of crushes before meeting my current girlfriend.

Yeah vt is good for that. I had the same problem when I joined last year - crush confusion. Lots of people do xD

I'll see what I can do, but I believe my heart is a different person than I am xD

Yea, I really like it here. I'm going to get this cleared up before I do any advice giving to others.

~~ Snow

DiamondsGirl
April 26th, 2014, 06:37 AM
Well if you don't love any of them, then stay where you are now. You don't need to walk away from them or tell them to go away. It's just that it wouldn't be fair if you agreed to go out with any of them. You do not know what they feel. What if they DO love you?

Mini rant not directed towards anyone:
Why why WHY is it that people always dramatize stuffs and feel like they need to build a wall between them and other people whenever they encounter a problem?? Is it those stupid romantic movies? It is, isn't it?? "Ooh I am undergoing a life-threatening surgery very soon I must NOT tell my boyfriend and make a video to make him cry in case I didn't survive". WTF what kind of mentality is this. Nobody needs to build no wall. Whatever it is.

Menzis
April 26th, 2014, 04:36 PM
Alex sounds the best I guess.. Just ask to hang out sometime

Pensive
April 26th, 2014, 08:31 PM
Well if you don't love any of them, then stay where you are now. You don't need to walk away from them or tell them to go away. It's just that it wouldn't be fair if you agreed to go out with any of them. You do not know what they feel. What if they DO love you?

Mini rant not directed towards anyone:
Why why WHY is it that people always dramatize stuffs and feel like they need to build a wall between them and other people whenever they encounter a problem?? Is it those stupid romantic movies? It is, isn't it?? "Ooh I am undergoing a life-threatening surgery very soon I must NOT tell my boyfriend and make a video to make him cry in case I didn't survive". WTF what kind of mentality is this. Nobody needs to build no wall. Whatever it is.

I agree with some of what you've said before.

Although let's look at it from the guys perspective, if they geniunely do have feelings for you - you are going to hurt all of them no matter what you do.

To minimize the damage you need to outright reject all of their advances. State in conversation that you aren't interested in dating anyone in the school. Reject advances such as intrusions into personal space and one-on-one time. Tell your friends how you feel, that you don't want to date any of them. They will help pass the message on subtly.

On the off-topic topic raised in the quote above;

Whether you deem it right or wrong is personal preference, but the building of walls in situations such as those, is to protect the one you love from inevitable heartbreak. Whilst this may be misguided/misjudged, it is a real human instinct and not an attempt to harm them further. Films do not instigate this behaviour, they merely act as a medium for it to be explored.