Family Tree

[Melodic]

So I went to stay with my nana for the last two months, but she gave me horrible opinions of myself. She told me I'll never make any friends, the ones I have aren't real ones, until I look an exact way I shouldn't perform because I'll be laughed at, my family doesn't care about me, I should be checked into a mental hospital because of my disorders, etc. I've been so depressed I've pretty much laid around the last month staring at walls not doing anything.

Well the last week, I finally came back home to tell my mom what happened.. She's actually really mad at my nana for doing this to me.. Since she did it to her when she was my age.. So my mom has been trying to get me out of my depression by doing things and making me tall to people. I started having social anxiety attacks. Pretty much I freak out and start screaming just to ask a person for ketchup. I've pretty much shut myself off from everyone. I'm really down and depressed. And I'm not exactly sure what to do..My mom signed me up for a Teen group in my city, but I refused to go. My mom's trying to find ways for me to see friends, but I tell her it's pointless because they don't care. I feel so alone and so unhappy. Me and my mom have fought a lot because of everything that's in my mind. I don't even know what to do.. I keep telling my mom not to sign me up for stuff for music. I feel so insecure and I'm not sure what to do anymore.


I don't exactly know how to blow off my Nana and some of that part of family without being more mean than she was. I don't know how to get these thoughts out of my head.. I don't know how to actually be human anymore..

[Gumleaf]

That's a tough situation and I don't envy your for a moment. When depression gets that bad it is so hard to get the avalanche or negativity that your mind throws at you out of your head, especially when a family member continues to feed the lies. An important lessen I learnt, and it was hard to learn, is that not every thought you have about yourself is a truth. Your friends speak truth and those who truly love you speak truth. I know that believing the truth and not your mind is the bigger challenge.

I'm not going to pretend I know all about your situation and how to help. But I can say from my own experience that learning to trust the people who you know, when you take the depression out, actually do care about you are telling you the truth about you and who you are. Your mind will tell you they are telling lies, but your friends speak truth.

I hope this has made some sense, but I just want to finish by saying that you aren't alone on this journey. People do love you even though your mind will tell you that they don't care. There is an ending to this journey, and you will make it. Small steps are needed, but you will make it. You have a purpose, you are loved and you will get past this. These are all truths!

[ksdnfkfr]

dunno what to say except that's absolutely horrible. you were subjected to a lot of heavy duty psychological abuse. the only thing that would help me in a situation like that is a therapist and time.
you shouldn't have anything to do with those who abuse you - that's not being mean on your part.