I'm Split

[Lovelife090994]

My mind is a marathon nonstop with me an unwilling participant. I see and feel art and inspiration in everything around me. I feel like two people. The normal quiet me when ignoring that inspiration, and the true rather manic me who dives into writing and art to get out the thoughts. But sadly, this keeps me awake.

Sometimes I ask why God allows me to see so much and why I lie awake. An off switch would be nice. But, for me it is about a balance. We all need a balance to be positive and to quell the inner voices sometimes. It is not insanity, we all hear. The only difference is how often for some of us.

I am often a mystery. I'm the only one aside from my aunt who is like this. Sometimes it is good. Other times I don't know what to think. Acting or not, Catherine was right, "The brain is the ultimate mystery."

I don't know what normal is. I just know that my emotions swing like crazy even when I am quiet. I feel split between the quiet confusion and the crazy flow. I know I must never allow myself to fall into this fight, but the only thing restraining me which is clearly strong is my mother. It would kill her if she even had an inkling that I am "I don't even know the word" different, manic, maybe eratic in thinking. I don't know what to think and that worries me. Even now, I write this from a burst of running thoughts. Writing has always flowed out of me. My best work is when I am under the stress of thought. Thoughts and the mind especially mine are quite the enigma. I worry I'll need help. It's getting hard to contain especially since I daydream so much.

[DiamondsGirl]

Hey there. First off, normal is over-rated. No one's normal. Everyone's a freak in one way or another. Second off, I'm kinda like you too :) every little thing makes me want to grab my laptop and start writing. Even a piece of newly-bought eraser. I don't see why it's such a bad thing in all honesty... not that I'm trivializing your problem. I don't know if this is what you're experiencing, but I constantly have a story in my head it's hard to fall asleep; because if the main character in my story moves around, I can't help but to toss around too. If that's what you're dealing with, I have a method to harness the flowing thoughts and utilize them as a sleeping aid:

Make up a story in your head. Shouldn't be hard, right? :) Tell the story to yourself (probably in the form of a 'movie', because that's what happens when we daydream) while you close your eyes, laying still in your bed. Don't give it an ending. Keep the story going on, jumping from one part to another if you want. If you get bored, start a new story. This is actually one of the many methods to fight insomnia. You'll fall asleep before you know it. The next night, continue where you left off. Just remember not to end your story. In case you do, try to think of another way it could end.

Right now I have two stories I randomly jump back and forth on. I will never write these stories on paper because they're such a huge part of me now I don't want people to see it. Plus, the moment you write it, the story became stagnant. It's not as dynamic as it is in your head. So yeah don't write the story down. Good luck x

[Lovelife090994]

Hey there. First off, normal is over-rated. No one's normal. Everyone's a freak in one way or another. Second off, I'm kinda like you too :) every little thing makes me want to grab my laptop and start writing. Even a piece of newly-bought eraser. I don't see why it's such a bad thing in all honesty... not that I'm trivializing your problem. I don't know if this is what you're experiencing, but I constantly have a story in my head it's hard to fall asleep; because if the main character in my story moves around, I can't help but to toss around too. If that's what you're dealing with, I have a method to harness the flowing thoughts and utilize them as a sleeping aid:

Make up a story in your head. Shouldn't be hard, right? :) Tell the story to yourself (probably in the form of a 'movie', because that's what happens when we daydream) while you close your eyes, laying still in your bed. Don't give it an ending. Keep the story going on, jumping from one part to another if you want. If you get bored, start a new story. This is actually one of the many methods to fight insomnia. You'll fall asleep before you know it. The next night, continue where you left off. Just remember not to end your story. In case you do, try to think of another way it could end.

Right now I have two stories I randomly jump back and forth on. I will never write these stories on paper because they're such a huge part of me now I don't want people to see it. Plus, the moment you write it, the story became stagnant. It's not as dynamic as it is in your head. So yeah don't write the story down. Good luck x

Thank you. I will try that. I am writing a book and have art for it. I picture it yet I have writer's block to the story.

[DiamondsGirl]

Actually, writer's block happens more often to people who are creative. You just have so many new ideas flying around you can't hold still to just one :)

EDIT that's probably the reason why I'm better at writing poems than stories. You got me curious now btw :P if you're willing to share your work, I'd like to read it x

[Katiya]

You just sound like an artist to me :D

[Lovelife090994]

You just sound like an artist to me :D

I don't sound crazy?

Actually, writer's block happens more often to people who are creative. You just have so many new ideas flying around you can't hold still to just one :)

EDIT that's probably the reason why I'm better at writing poems than stories. You got me curious now btw :P if you're willing to share your work, I'd like to read it x

Will do!

[Katiya]

No, not to me. :)

[Lovelife090994]

Thanks for the help!

[maddogmj77]

I just looked at your Deviantart page, those look AMAZING!!! I suck at anything that has to do with creativity :( But every once in a while I will have one random amazing drawing. This happens a lot in Minecraft too. lol

Anyways, maybe you need to just get these stories and art out on to paper or something. So you can just clear your head. :)

[Lovelife090994]

I just looked at your Deviantart page, those look AMAZING!!! I suck at anything that has to do with creativity :( But every once in a while I will have one random amazing drawing. This happens a lot in Minecraft too. lol

Anyways, maybe you need to just get these stories and art out on to paper or something. So you can just clear your head. :)

Thanks. My head fills so easily.

[Microcosm]

This is not a problem. Rather, this is a gift.

You have been born with a gift! I see what you mean by trying to balance it, but I think the best way to balance it is to let it roam free! Set a time every day in which you can just express yourself in writing or art or whatever you want to do! Trust me this can really help you if you are willing to commit to it.

Good luck, my friend. Hope I helped!

[Lovelife090994]

This is not a problem. Rather, this is a gift.

You have been born with a gift! I see what you mean by trying to balance it, but I think the best way to balance it is to let it roam free! Set a time every day in which you can just express yourself in writing or art or whatever you want to do! Trust me this can really help you if you are willing to commit to it.

Good luck, my friend. Hope I helped!

I can do that. Thanks.