I need y'all advice

[Santiago]

Okay so whenever I need advice I always turn to VT and y'all. So I'm currently in a relationship, a hetero one. We've been together for 4 months Saturday. Before we DTR, we were really good friends. Best friends I guess. It was great at the beginning but the relationship has really taken a toll because of my mental illness. Also this is my first relationship. I've been doing a lot of self-reflection. I've come to the conclusion that I'm gay and I want a relationship with a man. I believe that I'm ready to come out to my family, friends, coworkers, and classmates.

How do I breakup with her? Do I tell her I'm gay or do I just end it and later (couple of months) tell her I'm gay?

[Cece14]

Tell her that its not really working out, and then say you might be gay, but arnt completly sure yet. Then, i would come out a month later saying you are gay.

[Cognizant]

Well, if you guys were good friends before, things should go a bit more smoothly than one might expect. from my observations and experience, it's a whole lot more likely that people who were good friends before the breakup will be friends after they breakup. You should be honest with her, but not so blunt that it would hurt her. I'd say something like: "so I know that I've been going through some stuff recently, and, to be honest, i think i might be gay. i'm really really sorry but I just don't think it would be good to continue our relationship like this."

you could then reassure her that (if) you still want to be her friend, but i'd wait and see how she handles the initial statement first - everyone handles relationships differently; some would be understanding, some might break down crying, and others would just snap and rage. And as a side note, if she gets defensive, don't let it get to you. It's not really your fault you don't want to be in a relationship any more.