Im constantly sad, confused and angry

[MercenaryMarksman]

It started Feburary 28th when I was called into the vice principals office to answer ?s about a drug investigation. I had sold some edibles and no one had said anything for a few weeks so I thought I was ok. When I was called to his office I kind of knew my life was about to crash in front of my eyes and it basically did. Before this happened I had been smoking a lot of pot for about six months and I had mixed emotions about that. I have ADD and some social anxiety so I woke up every morning feeling today was judgment day. It was my first year back in public school (I was homeschooled for 3 years and became anxious) because I had been a trouble maker in fifth grade. (stupid stuff) I fell into a group of weed smokers because I knew them since I was in elementary school and they didn't smoke then, but when they said we smoke I couldn't turn it down. I did it for awhile just to be cool and not feel like I was a nobody and it worked ok until the principal called me. I had many mental breakdowns, I cursed at my mom everyday, I flipped off the principal and called him a prick and I threatened the group I once called friends with death daily. I also went to court and had an expulsion hearing and I am homeschooled again. Now when I go outside and see happy kids walking around with friends I get angry and consider finding my old "friends" and beating the living shit out of them. I once even pushed my mom across a room because my anger eached I high point and games like GTA V make me happy because I can shoot people and watch them bleed out. Oh and my "friends"? they never got caught and I saw them playing basketball while I was in my dads car going to therapy!! Am I slowly turning into a psychopath or what?

[DiamondsGirl]

Heya. The day you posted this, I was sitting right here typing some reply but then somebody called me and I gotta go. When I came back to my chair, my fingers sorta froze. I don't know what to say. I don't know what it feels like to have drug addiction. I don't know how to answer your questions. But I do know I need to say something. Something.

I'm still gonna write another "I don't know". I don't know how to tell whether we're psychopaths or not. I don't know how to tell what are we slowly turning into, whatever it is. I assume when you say "therapy" you're going to a psychologist/psychiatrist? Glad to hear you have someone to talk to then. They'll help you. They will. Trust me there IS an end to this tunnel. You just gotta keep walking. Cliche, I know. But really... you just gotta keep walking.

Fantasizing about killing someone is not something unheard of. Especially after what you've gone through. What makes the difference is how you channel it, I guess. Rather than solidifying your fantasies by playing GTA (cool game btw) what about letting it all out by kicking that bag thing you see in martial arts training center? (sorry English is not my first language) Scream if you must. It's alright. Do anything that stops you from hurting people around you, because that's gonna make you feel guilty... and you really don't need to carry any more extra weight.

By the way, about the psychopath thing? There's this little brief psycho test in a column in my local newspaper. I am inches from passing with flying colors. The author said that people who pass the test are either psychiatrists, psychologists, or the psychopath himself. I remember the test vividly. It only has one question. Do message me if you want to know.

EDIT alright I'm an idiot. You can't PM me because of your post count can you? Well just let me know somehow and I'll PM you.

[Jack russell dad]

Life is a bitch. And to people like u and me, it makes sure to fuck us over as much as possible all i see is that you've smoked some stress reliever. I can speak from experience, on this account. Ur friends leaving u behind. You've heard my story, I'm constantly reminiscing all my memories from the past and it has deepened my depression. U just have to roll with the punches, which is tuff all in itself. Just message if u want to talk. Everybody needs some1 to listen, atleast.