Frustrated and Scared

[Bmble_B]

Any who, I already know that for the most part Im gay. But the number one person Im afraid to come out to is my uncle. Since he always says things like "Please, be straight and like girls." And he asks me if Im straight or not occasionally. I just don't want to feel like I'm disgracing or hurting him in any type of way, hes one of the nicest people that you can ever meet. But its obvious that hes against homosexuality. This is evident since whenever I even say the word gay while talking to someone else he yells "Who's Gay!?" in a very intimidating tone. Sometimes I just wish that I was straight like everyone else I know... Any advice? I could really use some help...

[ChrisTJ]

Well if you're gay, you're gay, nothing you or your uncle can do about it. You can hold off coming out to him for a while until you feel strong and confident enough to do it. Of course if you come out to your family, word might get back to him. Just remember, he's the one with the problem but you. You are just the way you are and there's nothing with with that.

[Living For Love]

I guess he has already his suspicions you could possibly be gay, since you said he occasionally asks you if you're gay or not. The truth is, though, that the problem is on him, not on you. It's not your fault that you have been born gay (that's the way I see it), and maybe his issue is that he might feel ashamed to have a gay nephew, or that he might get laughed at by his friends if they find out. But that's not your fault, and there's pretty much anything you can do to change it. You should come out only when you feel ready, and only you know when it's the right time. Don't feel pressured by him, he might be a nice guy like you said, but if he doesn't respect your sexuality, he doesn't respect you, as a person, and that's just not nice at all.

[JamesSuperBoy]

Can you tell him it is none of his business and I guess its kinda creepy him asking or saying that.

[ugaboy]

I hate that your uncle says those things! My dad(sperm donor) is not around, and my uncle, is like my (older) best friend and dad. I think he has his suspicions about me as well, but I am not even sure myself. All he ever tells me is :I love you like my own son, and will always love you - no matter what".

I would say, dont worry about hurting your uncle. From what you posted he really loves you, and will still love you, even if you are gay. I am not saying "come-out" to him, just keep going, as you are. When the time is right, I think he will be OK. Family love is sometimes deeper than personal beliefs, and I am counting on that with my uncle.

Not much help, but at least we have uncle's that love us.

[gevans604]

I guess he has already his suspicions you could possibly be gay, since you said he occasionally asks you if you're gay or not. The truth is, though, that the problem is on him, not on you. It's not your fault that you have been born gay (that's the way I see it), and maybe his issue is that he might feel ashamed to have a gay nephew, or that he might get laughed at by his friends if they find out. But that's not your fault, and there's pretty much anything you can do to change it. You should come out only when you feel ready, and only you know when it's the right time. Don't feel pressured by him, he might be a nice guy like you said, but if he doesn't respect your sexuality, he doesn't respect you, as a person, and that's just not nice at all.

I agree completely. Don't let him decide when and where your ready to come out.