Lately.....

[Nic0 Fiend]

Lately I've been feeling more and more depressed lately.... I've always been depressed somewhat ever since I went to middle school but I haven't felt as much till the last couple years ever since my grandmother died 2 years ago. I've been trying to live up to everyone's exceptions because I don't want to let anyone down and trying to fit it in.

I believe that no one really does like me that they just put up with me because they pity me even my close friends and family. I could be talking and no one will listen like I'm not even there or walking in a group but when I try to walk with I'm always pushed to the back.

But what really sets it in is that I wonder if anyone will miss me if I'm just gone from their lives which is most likely no one will. And there is so much more to it but I really don't want to explain it.

And before anyone says oh well no big deal there is so much a human being can take and keep bottled up. And each person has a different limit than another some more and some just a little.

[DiamondsGirl]

Hey there. I'm sorry for your loss. I do believe that loss is the root of your problem, so... what about talking to a psychiatrist? If meeting new people scares you, what about talking to one online? They can help you deal with the grief and hopefully it gives a domino effect to your other triggers.

For now, here's what I always tell people: you do not need to live for others. You live for yourself. What's your hobby? What's the most important thing to you on Earth? Are you ready to have them ALL taken away from you? Permanently? Are you sure you won't regret it?

Death is the period behind a sentence. Our life story is a book in progress, us the writers. We put a period when we're already happy with how our story ends. Are you already happy with how YOUR story ends? Do you really feel you did enough in this world? If you die now, you'd never be able to fix what you've done wrong. Never be able to catch what you've been chasing. No more "edit" button available. Do you really want that? So if you're a loner now, death would freeze that forever. You'd never be able to make new friends. You'd never be able to get out of this tunnel. But if you're alive, you can still talk to people and form friendships. You can still work around things and get out of this depressing phase one day. Remember that the world is so much bigger than your school. Maybe your school is just full of jerks. Why not go to a place where the jerk population is little to none? Youth clubs, maybe?

Good luck x

[darkangel91]

I agree with Liv... You can't know what kind of contributions you can make to the world, or what wonderful experiences you'll have someday, until it happens. If you died, you would never have the chance to become who you are meant to be... all that potential, wasted. Whether or not anybody cares about you out there, on this forum, you have friends. We care about you. If not for yourself, hang in there for our sakes, eh?

[Nic0 Fiend]

Hey there. I'm sorry for your loss. I do believe that loss is the root of your problem, so... what about talking to a psychiatrist? If meeting new people scares you, what about talking to one online? They can help you deal with the grief and hopefully it gives a domino effect to your other triggers.

For now, here's what I always tell people: you do not need to live for others. You live for yourself. What's your hobby? What's the most important thing to you on Earth? Are you ready to have them ALL taken away from you? Permanently? Are you sure you won't regret it?

Death is the period behind a sentence. Our life story is a book in progress, us the writers. We put a period when we're already happy with how our story ends. Are you already happy with how YOUR story ends? Do you really feel you did enough in this world? If you die now, you'd never be able to fix what you've done wrong. Never be able to catch what you've been chasing. No more "edit" button available. Do you really want that? So if you're a loner now, death would freeze that forever. You'd never be able to make new friends. You'd never be able to get out of this tunnel. But if you're alive, you can still talk to people and form friendships. You can still work around things and get out of this depressing phase one day. Remember that the world is so much bigger than your school. Maybe your school is just full of jerks. Why not go to a place where the jerk population is little to none? Youth clubs, maybe?

Good luck x

I agree with Liv... You can't know what kind of contributions you can make to the world, or what wonderful experiences you'll have someday, until it happens. If you died, you would never have the chance to become who you are meant to be... all that potential, wasted. Whether or not anybody cares about you out there, on this forum, you have friends. We care about you. If not for yourself, hang in there for our sakes, eh?

Thank you both for commenting. I appreciate it because I changed my thought process about it and it brightened my mood somewhat. And I'll try my best to be positive about it all.

[darkangel91]

Glad to help. :)