Forcing to be with family

[Kurgg2]

So, I am a loner and I am happy with it. However, my dad is forcing me to play and go to bike with him and my little brother, because I don't have any friends. I have tried talking and it didn't help as my dad is the most stubborn man in the world. What should I do?

[JamesSuperBoy]

Thats hard as I love doing things with my family - would you really hate? going? Maybe you could think about going.

[Living For Love]

Yeah, since you're lonely most of the time you could enjoy yourself. But as you prefer being on your own, maybe if you just talk to them about not going at all because you wouldn't feel comfortable, something like that. Or you could actually go and just don't talk.

[Pulp501]

Maybe you should go, everyone needs some socialization. I'm sure they are just trying to make sure you aren't alone all the time, and probably want to spend time with you.

[DiamondsGirl]

^^^^ this.

Come on love you gotta see it from the other side of the fence. You might be a loner, but your dad is not. He misses you. He wants to be near you and he wants you to be near the people he loves (aka your bro and your mom). Keep the old man happy for a while alright? :)

Just in case you're screaming in your head "you don't know what I'm feeling" right now;

I am socially anxious. MOSTLY around my family because they're the ones who made me this way. Being close to my dad feels like standing one inch beside a wild lion. It scares me, I don't know what insult he'd throw at me next. Being close to my bro feels like being locked in a cage filled with Capuchin monkeys. He knows what I'm afraid of (what kind of voices, what kind of words, how others act, etc) and he'd do it all just to make sure I curl up in fear at the farthest corner of the room. I'm not afraid of my mom, but she's like this little crying girl that gathers people's attention, points at me and makes them believe I abused her. She always makes me feel/sound so bad (and ugly). She makes very sure I receive daily reminder of how terrible of a person I am.

HOWEVER

They're only doing that because I never have the guts to speak to them. I never tell them they're scaring me. I never tell them they make me feel so unwanted and ugly. Sure, they should've known by logic, but it's still partly my fault. No matter what I'm still a part of their family and they DO want me to join in their activities. I hate to join in but what can I do? I don't like it, but they're family. It's not like I'm gonna stay anchored here forever anyways. Soon I'd be off to college (you too!) and I won't see them as much anymore. So yeah hang in there! One day they'd be gone from this world... you MIGHT regret what you did. I don't want to regret anything, so... yeah. Hang in there.

[Kurgg2]

Okay, I will consider everything you have said. Thanks for all of these answers.

[Snydergate]

I am antisocial and my father did very similar things to me, trying to get me out of the house. I had friends, I just didn't hang out very often and spent most of my time my my lonesome. Sadly, I was not brave enough to stand up to him so I had to deal with this for years until I finally stood my ground and I learned that once I talked back, he began to fear me a bit. I could scare him into getting things my way at times. Stand your ground, it works wonders.

[Leon03]

Sorry, I may not be a good adviser as I am a family person.
But to me you sound a bit like my best friend's brother.
He does never want to come along with anybody regardless what they are playing or doing.
Forced to come he enjoys it a lot in the aftermath and is talking endlessly how much fun he had. Just to be reluctant as always the next time he is asked to come along.
Are you like this or do you really hate the activity or bike-rides?

[NeuroTiger]

I'll advise you to go... :D
It will certainly be an awesome trial...perhaps a turning effect in your life. :D

[Menzis]

I was like this around the time i was 13,
My dad was kind of the same, but he just probably thinks you are inside too much, and you have to get out once in a while.. and he just likes to spend time with his kids.

[Body odah Man]

So, I am a loner and I am happy with it. However, my dad is forcing me to play and go to bike with him and my little brother, because I don't have any friends. I have tried talking and it didn't help as my dad is the most stubborn man in the world. What should I do?

I have the same issues with my father as he can be quite resilient. I know it can be hard but sometimes you just have to be tough and stick to your guns. It's the only way to resist and deal with it.

[backjruton]

All I know is I'd refuse it

[PinkFloyd]

I get that you like being a loner and all that but socialization really doesn't hurt. If I were you, I'd just go on the bike ride. Plus, Finland is beautiful! :D

[nklarke]

My advice it's not go to the extreme.
I mean, being alone is good and socialization also so you can go with them one day and tell your father that the next day you stay at home an so on, one day at home and one day with them...

[Body odah Man]

My advice it's not go to the extreme.
I mean, being alone is good and socialization also so you can go with them one day and tell your father that the next day you stay at home an so on, one day at home and one day with them...

good plan